A Taste of an Apple
by Feeling-Grand
Summary: One night. One spark. And everything that would follow. Applejack/Rainbowdash. FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

Applejack stood before her glorious farm, two baskets holstered to her side as she set out to collect some apples for the day.

When she was younger she had tried to deny that being a farmer was in her blood. But her heart had always been in this farm and that is where it would always stay.

She loved nothing more than her farm and family.

They were country ponies, they lived to watch their land grow and thrive.

But every now and then she just liked to have a relaxing work day, picking the apples at a calm pace and to spend the evening just looking after her home, her heart.

She bucked one of the trees lightly and collected the few apples that fell. Sometimes nothing was better than a lazy day of work.

"Heya Applejack!"

She looked up in hearing that loud cheerful voice and saw Rainbow Dash hovering above her, her blue wings gusting out wind in easy pants.

"Well good evening Rainbow Dash, what brings you round here this time of day?"

"Just gotta warn everypony about the upcoming storm, we're making sure everypony gets inside."

"Jeeze, really?" Applejack said disappointed, "But I gotta pick all the loose apples off today or else they'll be completely blown off."

"Look Applejack," Rainbow Dash said hesitantly looking at the dark clouds in the distance "You have probably an hour, an hour and a half tops to get these apples down, but you better hurry."

"Thanks," Applejack said with a smile but sighed "I guess this'll have to be a hectic work day after all."

Rainbow Dash saluted her before flying off and Applejack blew out annoyed getting her wit about her and hurried on faster in her work.

The work was tedious and hard, but worth it all the same. She was down half the acre when she felt some damp pats of rain on her back and frowned annoyed.

"Oh no!" she said hasty "It can't be time already!"

She knew Rainbow Dash said it would be a big storm, but she couldn't stand seeing so many apples going to waste! She hurried on her way, bucking more loose apples off the trees.

Rainbow Dash stood on her cloud a little worried. The storm had started, but knowing Applejack, if she hadn't picked all those apples yet than she wouldn't stop, even in this rain.

She couldn't let her friend get throttled by the wind and rain, she had to help.

She nodded her head hard and began her unsteady flight back to the farm, the wind gushing on her sides and pulling her back. She must be crazy.

Applejack was soaking wet from the down pour. Branches were falling everywhere, one hitting her back and she yelped in pain.

"Stupid damn wind! But I can't lose any harvest!"

"Applejack!"

She looked up fast seeing Rainbow Dash flying toward her, the wind pushing her this way and that fiercely but she landed beside the injured Applejack with heavy exhausted panting.

"How did I know that you wouldn't listen to my warning!"

"Well stop complaining, I just picked the last loose apple!"

"You're a stupid apple!"

"HUH!" Applejack said in anger. The two jumped as lightning struck behind them.

"You better get inside, Rainbow Dash! Come on!" Applejack yelled and directed her to her house, Rainbowdash nodding, the two running low to avoid getting hit by lightning.

They reached the house and Applejack slammed the door closed with a hard buck, the two panting as water dripped off them and splashed to the ground.

"Jeeze Rainbow Dash, why did you Pegasus arrange such a fierce storm?" Applejack asked flabbergasted.

"We have to clear out all this storage of water in the air so we arranged one night to do it."

"Well I don't think you can go back out into that storm," Applejack said worried looking through the window to the gusting wind and rain outside.

"Hey, it's better for me in here than there… though I'm not too fond of inside houses."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing…" Rainbow Dash said, not really feeling like getting into a row and looked around the farmhouse slowly saying confused.

"So where's the rest of your family?"

"They went to visit cousin Jefferson down the valley."

"So it's just you tonight?"

"Why do you think I was the only one picking apples?"

"I don't know, stubbornness,"

"Righto… enough outta you."

Rainbow Dash smirked friendly, and sat down at the table.

"So what do you do for fun?"

"I don't know, play games, you?"

"Oh you know me, always racing against the wind, my wings need extra exercise to keep me in tip top shape."

"Someone's a little proud." Applejack said teasingly "Maybe that there should've been your element."

Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out in response, Applejack grinning.

These two always had a small banter about them, Applejack felt out of all her friends, she seemed to always empathise the most with Rainbowdash. The two never had that much alone time together so she only really knew the outside of her friend… but even with that she felt like she really knew the blue Pegasus.

"Whatcha thinking?" Applejack aspired to know and Rainbow Dash looked at her confused.

"Why you wanna know?"

"I don't know… I've always I suppose just wanted to know what goes on inside that thick skull of yours?"

"Look, is this going to be some kind of bonding experience?"

"Got a problem with that?" Applejack asked blankly. Rainbowdash blinked surprised. Applejack always had a tricky way about her, and she usually did manage to get her way with persistence.

"Alright," Rainbow Dash said grinning "I was just thinking about how much fun it would be swooping through the air in this storm… though I know it would be dangerous."

"You really love speed don't you?" Applejack asked slowly, and Rainbow Dash nodded.

"It's what I was born with, in my blood… I know that sounds stupid."

"No it ain't." Applejack said smiling and sat down beside her "Farming's in my blood, couldn't live without it."

"But if you had to give up farming for something, if your happiness depended on it, what would it be?"

"Are we playing truth or dare now?" Applejack questioned smiling, Rainbow Dash shrugged, "Well I wouldn't give up farming for anything."

"Not even to save your family?"

"Well yeah, of course then." Applejack said in an obvious voice.

"Do you ever get annoyed," Rainbow Dash said nervously, and Applejack looked at her confused.

"About what?"

"Living with your family still?"

Applejack didn't see that coming. She smiled kindly.

"No Rainbow Dash, I love my family, I love this farm, I was born to stay here forever."

"But what if you met a handsome stallion?" Rainbow Dash countered.

"And what's that got to do with anything?"

"Well, what if he wanted you to move away to somewhere far far away?"

"Wouldn't do it."

"But what if you loved him…?"

Applejack was silent then… she never really had been in love before… to be honest, she wouldn't know what she'd do. But she didn't have to admit that to Rainbow Dash.

"Look if a handsome stallion comes into my life, then who knows what I'd do. But it ain't gonna happen at this moment."

"What? Falling in love or meeting a stallion?"

"Both… I've got too much work to fall in love."

"Yeah, me too." Rainbow Dash said absentmindedly "I mean, love is all around us, but we don't even generally give the blokes in our town a second look."

"Yep, that's it sister."

Rainbow Dash giggled, looking at Applejack with a small smile that lingered longer than a normal one and Applejack looked off nervous.

"Well anyway," she said a little shy for once, "How about you help me make dinner."

"Well what do you usually have?"

"Apples."

"Wow, exotic," Rainbow Dash said plainly.

"Oh come on, we also got cider?"

"Cider!" Rainbow Dash said in ecstasy and jumped up in the air in joy, "Well let's get eating!"

Applejack laid out the apple treats on the table, Apple casserole being the main with apple pie being the desert.

Rainbow Dash's mouth salivated with lust as Applejack poured two points of cider and Rainbow Dash swallowed it down eagerly in two gulps.

"Wow thirsty."

"Are you kidding? Your family makes the best cider in all of EQUESTIA!" Rainbow Dash said in glee and gave a small bubbly burp, Applejack giggling but also a little taken back from the praise.

"Thank Rainbow Dash, it's nice to get your stamp of approval."

"Why do I not often give it?" the Pegasus asked confused and Applejack shook her head softly, "Really?"

"Well, you don't hide it well when your disappointed I'll tell you that much."

"Oh sorry," Rainbow Dash said nervously.

"Don't be, one thing with you is that you always show your emotions on your shoulder."

"I didn't realise that I was so transparent."

"That's a good thing, take it as a praise."

"I guess…" Rainbow Dash said with a small unsure smile. She didn't know why it mattered to her, but she suddenly worried about how Applejack saw her.

Applejack was always honest, which was something Rainbow Dash really admired about her, but she wondered if Applejack liked anything specifically about her or worse… disliked something.

"Hey Applejack, what do you think of me?"

"Why, I think you're a good friend with a strong heart."

"Be honest."

"But I am?"

"No about my bad points… I know I come off as a little obnoxious sometimes."

"Okay…" Applejack said honestly "Sometimes you do think you're a bit all that."

"Really?"

"And… sometimes, if something ain't cool you automatically label it as not worth your time."

That really hurt.

"Look I'm making you sad!" Applejack said in grief, "Say something about me, for Pony sake!"

"Well… you can be awfully stubborn."

"I can?"

"You haven't notice?"

"I think you're mistaking stubbornness for not giving in to what I think is wrong."

"No you're pretty stubborn. You wouldn't even go in when the storm started."

"Oh…. Yeah."

"But you are the nicest pony I know, I even think you are nicer- and don't tell her I said this- nicer than Fluttershy."

"Really? Why…?"

"Well you always tell the truth, whereas Fluttershy might lie just to be nice."

"You know, you have some qualities I admire too, Rainbowdash."

"Like what?"

"Like your unwavering bravery, your pure loyalty, how you stick by your friends."

"Really?" Raindbow Dash said shyly, a smile going up her lips and her heart than beat hard… as if a realisation had suddenly dawned on her. She had never thought Applejack saw her that way, and she admired that pony so much… she never admired anyone unless they were famous or fast… but Applejack had always gotten her admiration simply for being her.

And the way her heart was fluttering now while she looked at the orange pony, it made her nervous… so nervous she almost wanted to escape.

"You okay there Rainbow Dash?"

"Me, oh yeah… but you know, I think that storm i-is settling, I should leave."

"What? But it's like a hurricane out there!"

"Look, it's probably not that bad."

Just as she said that a giant bolt of lightning struck outside, flickering on and off the lights and Applejack looked at her stubbornly saying plain and simply,

"You're staying."

Rainbow Dash's smile sunk in nervousness… she really did want to spend the night with Applejack… but she felt so shy around her old friend… and especially now, after all that Applejack had said… she didn't know how to feel… cos' this feeling was really strange.

"Well come on," Applejack said as they finished the desert and the dishes were piled on the counter "Time to clear up this mess."

"Right on," Rainbow Dash said and got up beside her, Applejack turning on the tap and water pouring into the sink.

The two smiled and joked as they did the dishes before it grew dark and Rainbow Dash asked in a nervous smile.

"So where am I sleeping?"

Applejack looking at her confused, replying unsure.

"Applebloom's room?"

* * *

><p><strong>OMG this is like the first my little pony fic that I've written that I actually care about. I really like this pairing and if you like this story than great! Review! :))) <strong>

**I'll probably update again so look out for it.**

**Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Goodnight Rainbow Dash!" Applejack called as she switched off the hallway light and headed to her own bed. She had led the nervous pegasus to her little sister's room, something unnerving the blue pony greatly but she couldn't figure what.

Rainbow Dash had just suddenly gone withdrawn a little while they were eating dinner and she couldn't guess why… but somehow, that nervous feeling had passed on to her and she didn't know how to act really around her friend, so just put on her good hospitality.

Rainbow Dash lay in Applebloom's bed with her eyes wide awake as a million thoughts ran through her head. For some reason she couldn't get what Applejack had said about her out of her head… what was worse… she couldn't get Applejack out of her head.

Applejack, that courageous pony… the only one that would call her bluff, and somehow she knew that horse had picked up on her change in attitude.

She wanted to just go home to the clouds… she guessed she was an air head. Rainbow Dash smirked at the joke she told herself and snuggled into the blankets. She was sure that everything would just be fine in the morning.

A giant bolt of lightning struck suddenly outside the house and the two ponies jumped in their beds, Applejack galloping to her window seeing a tree had been struck and had fallen to the ground.

"Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened as she heard that call from away and peeped back nervous "Yeah?"

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!" she said with a fake smile that no one could see.

Another lightning bolt jolted down nearly hitting the house and Rainbow Dash jumped terrified, running out to the hall to turn on the light but the power had gone out.

She blinked silently as she saw Applejack standing across the hall, a look of terror also in her eyes and the orange pony said scared.

"You okay?"

"Oh yeah… it's just a bit of electricity." Dash said putting on a fake brave face before the hall lit up with a bolt outside the window and the two suddenly found each other hugging one another tight.

The two realized quickly what they were doing, and let go nervous, Rainbow Dash laughing with an off voice and Applejack said scared.

"Maybe you should sleep with me tonight."

"What…?" she said suddenly afraid of that idea but as another bolt hit she nodded her head fast saying "Good plan."

The two went into Applejack's bed silently, Rainbow Dash hugging her blanket worried as she looked outside the window to the gusting rain and turned around, seeing Applejack was shivering… probably with fear.

"You okay Applejack?" she asked quietly.

Applejack turned to her and nodded, "Yeah, this wind will be over soon enough."

"I didn't expect the storm to be this bad."

"I know… we lost an apple tree." she muttered a little saddened.

"Man, that sucks,"

"At least we haven't lost the house, that's all that matters."

Rainbow Dash nodded slowly. Applejack's green eyes looking slightly mystical in the dark. She stared at them silently… Applejack staring back into her eyes, before it felt a little too long for comfort and Rainbow Dash turned on her back, laughing nervously.

"Do you think your family will be okay?"

"Wait, is the storm spreading to out west?" Applejack said suddenly worried, and Rainbow Dash turned to her quickly saying fast,

"Oh no no… just trying to make small talk."

"You don't need to do that with me Rainbow, we're like sisters."

"Right…" Dash said… but didn't like that word, they were good friends, but sisters just felt… not the way to put how she felt.

She saw Applejack as something more than a sister, but didn't know what.

"Sisters? We're not that close are we?" she joked nervous.

"Well all my bffs are like sisters to me, I see you girls as my family."

"Yeah…"

"What's wrong?" Applejack said worried, picking up an air of sadness from the blue pony.

"Oh nothing," Rainbow Dash lied.

"Come on, spit it out." Applejack said.

"No, it's fine." Rainbow Dash said quietly and felt Applejack's hooves suddenly tickling her.

"I'm gonna get it out of you Rainbow Dash, it's not good to keep things in."

"H-hey!" she laughed going frantic on the bed "S-seriously! HA HA! It's nothing!"

"You swear?"

"Yes! Ha ha! Please stop!"

"Fine, you win this round," Applejack said defeated and Rainbow Dash smiled at her with a spark in her eyes… Applejack almost feeling it back, but the orange pony just looked off… whatever she was feeling, just wasn't possible.

"If you want to know…" Rainbow Dash said quietly, looking at the orange pony who was still looking away, "I was just thinking, well, me and you are closer than sisters."

Applejack blinked her eyes slowly, looking at Rainbow's ruby eyes quietly and said,

"…really?"

"Yeah… like we get each other." Rainbow Dash said slowly, but seeing Applejack's confused eyes quickly muttered "Don't… you think?"

"Of course…" Applejack said nervous, looking into Rainbow's eyes, the life that was in them, the spirit of the pegasus and she said afraid, "Well then, what are we?"

"I… don't know." Dash said quietly… what had she got herself into? She wanted to tell Applejack something deep, something which she felt but didn't know how to say.

She looked into those green earthy eyes afraid, before slowly moving her face towards Applejack's, the orange pony's eyes dimming as their mouths nervously touched.

What was this… that Applejack felt suddenly with this strange gesture, before pulling away in a gasp… she had just touched Rainbow Dash's lips with her own, and she saw the blue Pegasus looking at her nervous.

"Good night, Rainbow Dash." Applejack said nervous, but couldn't draw her eyes away from hers and the blue pony nodded slowly,

"Goodnight."

The two closed their eyes, both seeming afraid of what they had done, but Rainbow Dash opened one of her eyes, just looking at her friend… before closing it again.

Why did Applejack have to act like that to her… but what other way could the orange pony had reacted?

It took a good half hour before Rainbow Dash felt herself drifting off to sleep.

XXXXXX

And when she woke up she saw that Applejack's side of the bed was empty.

"Applejack?" she said confused and got out of bed quietly, walking out confused to the kitchen seeing the orange pony chewing softly on an apple as she looked outside the window with sad eyes.

"Hey,"

She turned seeing Dash at the door and smiled nervous replying fast,

"Oh hey," finishing her apple and walking over to her, "How was your sleep?"

"It was good," Dash said fast, laughing nervous before looking at the orange pony and saying slowly "Do you remember anything happening last night?"

Applejack shut her eyes hard, she had hoped that Rainbow Dash wouldn't have bought that up but now that she had she couldn't lie.

"Yeah… I do,"

"I guess we were both scared huh?" Rainbow Dash laughed afraid.

"Were we?"

She looked at Applejack surprised and shook her head weakly,

"I guess we weren't… were we?"

"Look I don't know exactly what happened last night between us Rainbow," Applejack said bluntly and the blue Pegasus looked at her worried, "But… it felt… like it was okay."

Rainbow Dash blinked her eyes surprised, looking at Applejack with a small smile,

"Really?"

"Yeah… Rainbow… I think, I don't know how I see you."

"I don't know how I see you either…but yesterday you were saying all these things about me, and did you mean it?"

"Of course, I don't lie."

"I know… silly question," Dash laughed and looked into Applejack's eyes with a small smile.

Applejack gazed back into hers slowly.

"Do you, want to hang out today…?" Rainbow asked nervously.

"Sure," Applejack said smiling and Rainbow Dash beamed back, "But I have work to do before anything."

"Man, you really work everyday, huh?" Rainbow Dash said kidding and Applejack chuckled nodding her head to the window which Dash turned towards,

"Well when a storm comes and destroys nearly half an acre, there does need to be some clearing up."

"It really destroyed all that…?" she asked quietly looking outside the window to the torn down trees and branches that stretched down the field and she looked at Applejack with a smile saying "Let me help."

"Really?" Applejack said surprised, "Well… thanks,"

The two smiled at each other, their eyes wanting to linger on the others longer but they both broke it off after a couple of seconds and they headed outside, getting ready to start the work.

Rainbow Dash flew through the fields, sweeping the branches into a pile where Applejack threw them into a kart, getting ready to pull them away and the pegasus flew down beside her, smiling largely as she watched her friend hard at work.

"You must have some stamina," she said eagerly, picking up the little branches that Applejack passed and dropped them in the kart as a helping hand.

"Well generally my brother does the work round here, but the family won't be home till this afternoon."

"What you gonna do with these branches?"

"Probably store them for winter," Applejack said knowledgeable and smiled at Rainbow Dash as she flew beside her.

The two reached the barn and unloaded the branches, Dash getting a branch and spanking Applejack's behind, the pony jumping shocked a little and looked at her with a grin.

"What's gotten into you?"

"You need to work harder, Applejack… you need to feel the burn in your thighs."

"Excuse me?" Applejack said confused and Rainbow Dash just giggled, landing beside her.

"I'm just messing with you,"

"Yeah…" Applejack said slowly, Dash getting scared that she offended her before Applejack said with a grin, "I know."

She suddenly grabbed Rainbow Dash in a head lock, rustling up her rainbow mane and Rainbow Dash laughed, tackling her to the ground, the two wrestling each other, Dash pinning Applejack down.

The two panted exhausted before Rainbow Dash realized what she was doing and looked nervously into her hostage's green eyes.

She felt so alive around her, so herself, so free and she licked Applejack's cheek softly, Applejack looking at her quietly.

"What was that…?"

"I don't know…" Rainbow Dash said shyly, but suddenly felt Applejack's lips on her own, the two doing something that felt so foreign but so right.

Rainbow Dash kissed her back, they lips slipping between each other softly, their mouths so warm… a feeling so hot fluttering through their chests.

The two jumped suddenly as they heard a creak, and Rainbow Dash sprung off Applejack into the air as Big Macintosh opened up the barn door, a confused face coming across his own as he saw his sister on the ground and said lost.

"Applejack?"

"Er, Big Macintosh, I-I fell!"

Big Mac looked at her confused before turning his head up to see Rainbowdash floating above her with a big blushing face on.

"Rainbow Dash?"

"Oh HEY, Big Mac!" she said nervously "I was just helping Applejack collect twigs."

"Yup," Big Macintosh said, still a little lost, "Got to help Applebloom and Grandma Smith," he said slowly and turned to leave, but looked back at his sister saying "Coming?"

"Er, sure, yup, of course!" Applejack said nervously and followed her brother, her head hanging to the ground.

"I guess you best get going, Rainbow," she said looking quietly up to her friend and Rainbow Dash felt like her heart was close to breaking as she said nervous,

"Yeah, sure… see you later, Applejack," she said quietly and left, flying off into the sky but gazed back down at the farm, seeing Applejack following her brother with her head hung low.

Applejack looked slowly up at the sky, seeing the blue pegasus in the distance hovering in the air. What was wrong with them both… why were they acting this unnatural way towards each other?

They were meant to be just friends… but the way they were acting, it felt so much more than that. Why did big Mac have to walk in on them… and did he see anything?

"What were you and Rainbow Dash doing, sis?" Big Macintosh asked slowly as they reached the house.

"Nothing, Big Mac…" Applejack lied and her heart stung with that, "Nothing."

* * *

><p><strong>Here's chapter 2, gee! I really like this pairing, expect more chapters in the future! :3<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm such a fool!" Rainbow Dash yelled at herself angrily as she zoomed through the sky. Just wanting to be alone, wanting to kill herself for what was almost seen.

"Oh smart move Rainbow Dash!" she said angry "Now all of Equestria will think you like Applejack!"

She stopped mid-air when she realized what she said and hovered there thinking… _but I do like Applejack._

She felt it was wrong even thinking those words so out in the open, but she couldn't deny that incredible feeling she got when Applejack had kissed her.

Applejack… had kissed… HER!

She wasn't one to gloat… well yeah actually she was, but God if anyone did find out what happened, the amount of teasing and ridicule she'd get would be unbelievable.

Did Big Mac see anything? She hoped to pony sake he didn't. But when Applejack said she 'best be going'… it was like a knife through her heart.

But Applejack must like her… they had kissed- TWICE, and Applejack hadn't pulled away the second time.

"So much thinking!" Rainbow Dash yelled to herself, grabbing her head from the thoughts… but smiled slowly as she whispered to herself in glee "she kissed me back…"

"Who kissed you?"

"Gah!" she yelped as she saw Derpy flying beside her with a confused look on her face, "No one!" she said quickly.

"Oh! Alright Rainbow dash!" Derpy said with a goofy assured face "Wasn't the STORM last night AWFUL?"

"Tell me about it," Rainbow Dash said quietly, "It destroyed some of Apple farm."

"Oh! Okay! See ya Rainbow Dash!" Derpy said loudly with a wave and flew off, the blue pegasus looking confused as she watched that grey one leave.

"There's something seriously wrong with that pony…" Dash muttered to herself before flying on… but it wasn't soon later that the worries began to regroup and possess her mind.

XXXXX

Applejack was silent as she did her work for the day, an ashamed look painted on her face. She couldn't believe that Big Mac had walked in on them… she couldn't believe anything.

And she still couldn't believe that Rainbow Dash, after only one night… had awakened so much uncertainty in her.

But her heart still longed for some reason… to see that blue pegasus fly her way.

"What's wrong Applejack?" Applebloom asked confused as Applejack returned back to the barn with a cart full of apples.

"Nothin' sis, why you ask?"

"Oh… I don't know, just seems you're a bit down that's all."

"No…" she lied with a strained face "Don't worry about me, I just had a bad sleep last night, that's all."

"Okay… could you take me into town later?" Applebloom asked daringly and Applejack looked at her confused.

"Why? What you need?"

"Oh nothing sis, I'm just meeting up with Sweetiebell and Scootaloo, we're going to-"

"Try find your cutie marks…" Applejack said knowing where this was going, "Sure Applebloom, let's get heading."

XXXXX

They reached the town not soon after, but Applejack had remained reasonably quiet throughout the trip.

"Go on and find your friends," she said to her little sis, a bit dampened "I'm going to go visit Twilight."

"THANKS!" Applebloom squeaked cheerily "Yo girls! Where are you?"

Applejack wandered over to the library tree house quietly and knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

She smiled weakly as she entered and saw Twilight reading away, but the purple unicorn looked up quickly from her book and smiled saying fast,

"Hello Applejack, what a pleasure to see you."

"Hey Twilight" the orange pony replied a bit beat.

"Would you like some tea and cake?"

"Thanks, but I'm not really hungry, a glass of water will do just fine."

Twilight smiled warmly as her horn glowed and a glass of water landed on the table, Applejack coming over quietly and took a sip.

"So what's on your mind? What brings you to town today?"

"Oh, Applebloom wanted to meet up with her friends that's all… but I need your advice."

"Sure, happy to help."

"My… cousin," Applejack said slowly, wincing a bit with the lie "has a problem."

"What is it?"

"Well… he kissed…" she began slowly "one of his friends, and now he doesn't know what to do…"

"Right… well have they talked about this?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, if his friend allowed him to kiss her, I'd guess she likes him too."

Applejack had a feeling Twilight would think it was between a stallion and a mare.

"What if his friend… was of the same sex?"

Twilight froze for a second… before going quiet and looked at Applejack confused.

"Two stallions?"

"Yeah…"

"That is… odd."

"Is it really?" Applejack said worried.

"Well, a special pony for another pony, generally needs to be able to have a future with each other… two stallions… its likely to not end well."

"What if they were two mares?"

"Two mares…?" Twilight said a little suspicious and Applejack looked around nervous, "I'd say it's pretty much the same fate."

"So there's no point for him… to even try to talk about it… just to pretend it never happened?"

"That's what I'd say would be best… Applejack."

"Yeah?" she said quietly.

"Thanks for telling me this… but I would be careful who I ask for advice around here… maybe you should tell your cousin not to tell anypony else."

"Right." Applejack said ashamed… fearing that Twilight was seeing straight through the fake story.

She sipped some more of the water before turning to leave "Thanks Twilight… for the drink and all."

"Not a problem Applejack, are you sure you don't want to stay longer?"

"No, it's fine… I best be going."

As Applejack walked outside the house she took a deep sigh… she had to just ignore this feeling. It was nothing but a silly feeling… yet it pained her that it was so… stupid.

She should have known she wouldn't be able to have any sort of future with Rainbow Dash… two mares couldn't be anything. It was just a stupid kiss, a stupid night and that's all.

She walked over to where Applebloom and her two friends were laughing and said quietly,

"Applebloom, I'm gonna head on home now… you'll be able to find your way back fine?"

"What? Why!" Applebloom said sadly.

"I just need to tend the farm."

"Fine… you sure you're okay, sis?"

"Yep, just a bad sleep last night, that's all."

"Rarity says she always has a bad sleep when I stay over," Sweetiebelle said out of nowhere and Applejack smiled weakly saying.

"That's nice Sweetiebelle."

"It is?" the white unicorn said confused and the two little fillies beside her just shrugged their shoulders confused.

Applejack wandered off from that, reaching the farm a while later and just saw a hill… smiling sadly as she headed up to it and sat down under an apple tree quietly.

"Why'd this have to happen?" she said to herself and sighed, looking up to the sky… a part of her afraid Rainbow dash would fly by… but a part of her wishing she would.

She closed her eyes slowly, resting them, before hearing a voice say slowly.

"Applejack?"

She would recognize that voice from anywhere and slowly opened her eyes… seeing Rainbow dash hovering above her, her wings flapping slowly as she was about to land but Applejack said fast.

"Don't."

"What's wrong…?" she asked confused.

"You being here…"Applejack said sad "that's what wrong."

"I need to see you." Rainbow dash said nervous and Applejack just got up, starting to leave "PLEASE DON'T GO!"

Applejack hated hearing that cry of desperation and turned around quietly.

"What is it?"

"Are we not even going to talk anymore?"

"About what?"

"About what happened…"

"Nothin' happened." Applejack said hard.

"But we kissed…?"

"NO, you kissed me."

"Not the second time…?"

"Well what do you want me to say?" Applejack said harshly walking over to Rainbow Dash still in the air, "I was just doing what you wanted me too."

"That's not true…"

"Isn't it?" Applejack said angry "I don't lie."

"But…"

"Look… I need to tend the farm…" Applejack said quietly and began to walk away but Rainbow dash lowered her eyebrows angry and flew in front of her.

"You kissed me because you wanted to! You said what happened last night was alright! Why are you making all these lies and excuses! I thought we were friends!"

"We…" Applejack said nervously, the pain of all the lying getting to her and she sighed, a tear dropping from her eye "we are…"

"Then what's wrong…?"

She wanted to tell her it could never work… that them being happy together was just a fantasy… but as she looked into the confused pink eyes… she knew that couldn't be the truth.

And she had already lied enough today.

"Rainbow dash… I… I-I'm sorry…" she said in tears, "I did kiss you… and it felt… amazing, but if anyone found out."

"No one is going to find out ," Rainbow Dash said quietly, landing beside Applejack with a shy smile "All I've been thinking today since I left the farm is how great I felt when I saw you… how GORGEOUS you are… we don't have to suddenly be like a couple or anything… I don't want that. I… I just want to be around you…"

"Really…?" Applejack said slowly looking at Rainbow Dash with a smile of her own… "So we'll just hang… no strings attached."

"Applejack…" Rainbow Dash said nervously "I just want to be around you… that's it…"

Applejack could feel herself blushing slightly… she didn't know if this was flattery or not… but she wanted to be around Rainbow Dash too… as friends.

They weren't together, but they could still be literally together…

"Okay…" Applejack said and felt Rainbow Dash's hooves suddenly around her shoulders as the Pegasus gave her a hug. Applejack hugged her back shyly and as Rainbow Dash pulled unwillingly away she felt her nose touch Applejack's barely… the two looking into each others eyes nervously.

"Well what do you want to do…?" Rainbow dash asked Applejack quietly… and Applejack grinned… the thought coming to her mind.

"Well, I still have some chores to do… but if you can show me something better to do with my time, I'm all ears."

"How about we just run?" Rainbow dash asked with a grin of her own, "Just run until we're all out of air?"

"Where to?" Applejack asked smiling slowly.

"Through the fields and further than that."

"You're on girl," she said and just as Rainbow Dash was about to rise into the air, Applejack pulled her down and said with a mean gleam "But no wings…"

"How did I know you'd say that?" Dash said grinning and suddenly zoomed ahead of her, Applejack following with a happy nay as the two ran with all their speed through Apple acres, until they reached the large opened fields and ran through them laughing.

They ran and ran and ran some more… they hooves getting tired but their hearts aflame with excitement, until Applejack finally fell on the soft grass panting, Rainbow Dash coming down and resting beside her, the two panting as they looked into each others eyes so full of life.

Rainbow Dash tried her luck and actually lay right down beside Applejack, cushioning into her and staring at the panting pony with a small smile.

Dash's body was so warm from the race, but having her lay beside her, Applejack felt the closeness.

The blue Pegasus wanted to rest her head on Applejack's neck… but settled for just gazing into her eyes…

There felt restrictions in what they had let themselves have… and Rainbow Dash… being a forceful type of pony moved her face closer to Applejack's… their noses nearly touching.

"Rainbow D-"

"Yes?" the blue pegasus interrupted slowly, just looking at Applejack's warm lips and Applejack only smiled, hugging Rainbow Dash close, letting the warmness fill her… and the incredible feeling in her chest last a little longer.

As long as no one could see them… they could be together in this way… as friends.

* * *

><p><strong>Well here's chapter 3, as you can see I'm really laying out the ground work. I'll keep posting chapters but if you like the story, review... it'll make me happy and more motivated. Expect another chapter within a few days probably, I'm still getting plenty of inspiration for this story :)<br>**


	4. Chapter 4

Applejack eventually went back to her schedule of work for the day, but that didn't mean that Rainbow Dash left. The blue pegasus flew above her, helping out in any way she could and it didn't even feel like work, being with Applejack.

She had lied a little about what she wanted from the earth pony. She had told her all she wanted was to be around her, but only came up with that excuse so Applejack wouldn't say no to them being together. Sure it was a bit sneaky, but what other choice did she have? Applejack had gone quite sullen about everything that happened and she didn't want things to return to normal, not after everything.

But even as the days went by, things didn't seem to move forward. They didn't get any closer since that race to the fields, and even though they had kissed twice in the beginning, it seemed Applejack was avoiding it, which worried Dash a good bit. She wanted to be close to this pony, closer than she had ever been with anypony else. She knew deep down, Applejack must want the same thing.

It was two weeks after the terrible storm, the ponies all meeting up for a picnic in the park, and no one seemed to notice that for some reason Applejack and Rainbow Dash seemed to show up together a lot more than normal. They all sat talking, chatting and the likes before Pinkie mentioned with glee,

"Guys! I have something to announce!"

"What is it?" Rainbow Dash said not really interested in hearing, her eyes on somepony else.

"Well seeing as it is Cheerily's birthday in a week, I'm throwing a surprise birthday PARTY!"

The ponies all looked at her quietly, seeming to take in the news and Twilight eventually said, a little taken back,

"Oh…" she looked at the other girls seeing the similar surprised faces before turning back to Pinkie "Are you sure she'd like that? You don't really know her that well?"

"She's my friend! And all my friends deserve surprise parties!" Pinkie said in glee and Twilight looked back at her friends, just seeing them shrug.

"Well alright then."

Pinkie Pie squeaked in ecstasy.

"How's things been going at your shop Rarity?" Twilight asked getting back to other talk, and before Rarity could speak, Twilight took notice of the shivering Fluttershy.

"What's wrong, Fluttershy?" she asked worried.

"Oh me… nothing,"

All the ponies stared at her confused. Fluttershy looked exhausted, dark circles under her eyes as if she was desperately sleep deprived and Applejack put it forward,

"No you ain't, you look more tired than a young filly on Nightmare night."

"Oh it's nothing… it's just, I've been hearing strange noises around my cottage lately, o-of wailing, and I can't sleep out of fear."

"Just use ear plugs," Rainbow Dash said obviously, Twilight looked at her annoyed.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Oh not long… just a week."

"A week?" Pinkie screamed out of nowhere, Rarity not looking impressed.

"Well have you thought about finding out what it is?"

"Err… no."

"Then there's only one thing to do," Applejack said standing up with pride "We've got to set a trap for this here beast, that's the only way to solve it."

"Yeah, we can come over tonight," Rainbow Dash said eagerly, liking the thought of some adventure, "We'll stay outside and try and catch it."

"Oh n-no!" Fluttershy said suddenly desperate to be heard "I couldn't ask that, you girls might get hurt!"

"Don't worry your head over it sugarcube," Applejack said with a confident wink, "We'll be fine."

"But still."

"It's settled, Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash said annoyed at her small resistance. All the ponies nodded, though Rarity didn't seem too crazy about the idea.

XXXXX

It wasn't long after, that Rainbow Dash found herself flying over to Fluttershy's small cottage, darkness spread all across Ponyville in the hours that had passed since the picnic.

She looked around the ground, eventually spotting the pony she wanted to see and grinned, landing quietly down behind Applejack before whispering in her friend's ear,

"Boo,"

Applejack turned around quickly, bumping into the confident pegasus and looked at her with a smile.

"Hey Rainbow," she said with a teasing voice and Rainbow Dash just loved hearing that voice, that she couldn't hold herself back and hugged Applejack suddenly, the orange pony trotting back quickly, saying nervous,

"What are you doin'?"

"Just hugging the most gorgeous pony in Equestria."

Applejack pushed her off nervously, nudging her head towards the other girls away in the distance and said annoyed,

"Not here."

Rainbow Dash looked at her, she was hurt a bit on the inside, but didn't let it show especially around her other friends.

"Fine," she said toughly, "When did you arrive here?"

"Around ten minutes ago,"

"Has the wailing started yet?"

"No… not yet."

"It's probably just the wind going through the trees. To be honest, I think Fluttershy is totally overacting."

"Even though you were the one who insisted on us coming?" Applejack said slyly and Rainbow Dash looked at her nervously.

"Well you can't be too careful."

"Yep," Applejack said with a grin and Rainbow Dash just couldn't help fall for the confidence her friend exuberated… no other pony coming close, yet she couldn't even kiss her… it was so frustrating.

Applejack smiled at her, before trotting off to the other girls and Rainbow Dash sighed, following suit.

"Okay, girls, now Fluttershy made it perfectly clear that we cannot harm this creature in the slightest." Twilight said to the others sounding as a warning.

"Harm it? What if it harms US!" Rarity said, adding in that point as if it bothered her greatly.

"Oh I doubt that's going to happen." Twilight said confidently, and Rarity only gave a sulky face, it was clear she didn't want to be here.

"Maybe we should carry party poppers!" Pinkie said eagerly "To scare it if it sneaks up on us!"

"Do we have any party poppers-"

Before Twilight could finish that, Pinkie pulled out five, throwing them to her friends in glee and Twilight rolled her eyes with a giggle.

"You girls… are you sure you're alright?"

The five looked at Fluttershy, who had just opened up her door with a small creak to see how things were.

"Yes Fluttershy," Rarity said a little concerned "Now you go straight to bed, you my dear, are going to get a beautiful beauty sleep tonight."

"Well…o-okay," Fluttershy said nervously and closed her door weakly, Applejack bucking it slightly to make sure it was closed properly.

"Okay, so I'm thinking it will be best to split up." Twilight said, thinking the plan through in her head, "We'll split into groups of two and three, each group getting a net."

"I'll go with Applejack," Rainbow Dash suddenly said determinedly and Twilight looked at her confused.

"But you two are the strongest ponies, don't you think the groups should be paired more evenly in strength?"

"What?" Rainbow Dash said, seeming to find a way around this in her head, before smiling adding "Me and Applejack can coordinate better, plus you three will have one extra, so the strength will be equalled out."

Twilight looked at the blue pegasus flabbergasted, she had never heard Rainbow Dash come up with such logic before, and only looked at her warily before saying slowly, "Well okay…?"

"Cool!" Dash said quickly and turned to Applejack with a grin "Come on Applejack," grabbing the net and throwing it on her back.

"Well alrighty," Applejack said not seeming sure… it had been so long since she had been alone in the dark with Rainbow Dash… it almost scared her.

The two walked away into the night, Applejack following the blue pegasus confused before Rainbow Dash stopped in front of the cold dark woods and Applejack slowed down behind her.

"You didn't set this up for Fluttershy did you?"

Rainbow Dash turned confused as she heard that cold voice and looked at her friend lost.

"Of course I did…"

Applejack pulled a cautious face, seeming not to believe.

"But maybe I'd feel better being paired up with you."

"You know we hang out enough already… do you want the other's ta get suspicious?"

"What can they get suspicious about?" Rainbowdash said, getting annoyed "We don't do anything… you won't let us."

"Now's not the time to talk about it," Applejack said warily looking around, before sighing and turning her green earthy eyes back at her friend saying quietly, "You know I do like you and all…"

"Yeah, as a friend…" Rainbow Dash said spitefully.

"You said we'd only just hang…" Applejack said slowly.

"What other way could I get you to be with me?" Rainbow Dash said angrily but when she saw Applejack's shocked face, sighed adding "that way…"

"So you still want to be with me…" Applejack said carefully "but why do you have to make it seem so obvious?"

"How?"

"Well, how about how you keep staring at me whenever we're around others, agreeing with me always."

"Oh I do not," Rainbowdash said annoyed.

"Well, course' you'd say that." Applejack said smiling slightly, and Rainbow Dash's heart soon melted, as she loved seeing those lips rise… and moved unknowingly closer to Applejack, saying nervous.

"Maybe I agree with you because you're always right."

"So would you agree that this can't be more than just hanging out..?" Applejack drawled out nervous, feeling Rainbow Dash's breath on her as the blue pegasus moved closer.

"You know that's not what you want…" she whispered and Applejack looked slowly at her mouth, adding.

"Maybe it is-"

Before she could finish she felt Rainbow Dash push her mouth to hers in a kiss, something Applejack had been avoiding for weeks, but having those lips on her own after so long, Applejack could do nothing but kiss her longingly back.

The two sat there, kissing silently in the dark, and Rainbowdash pushed it further, her tongue sweeping up her friends, as they fought for pleasure… a wanting that Dash had longed for so long since that storm.

She felt Applejack caress her back eagerly as the two embraced, Rainbow Dash pushing her body ever closer to the warmth of the earth pony, desire overwhelming as she wanted to do so much more than kiss… but kissing itself was so great.

Applejack suddenly pulled away, Rainbow Dash still kissing her friend's neck as the pony looked around confused…. The wailing being suddenly heard through the branches and she pushed Dash off her saying,

"Do you hear that?"

"Probably just my stomach…" Dash said trying to get back into the action but Applejack gave her a annoyed look, walking a little forward, listening to the wail.

Dash quickly snapped out of it when she noticed her crush had gone, and turned around looking through the woods, the wailing sending a shiver up her back.

"What do you think it is?" she asked Applejack, the orange pony lowering her eyebrows as she thought.

"Sounds like an injured animal…"

"Well let's follow it." Rainbow Dash said fast picking up the net but Applejack put her hoof in front of her saying slowly.

"We've got to be quiet."

"Right." The blue pegasus agreed and Applejack bit the other end of the net, getting ready to throw it if the occasion arose.

The two walked forward slowly, the wailing getting louder, until all of a sudden it sounded just below them and Rainbow Dash yelped from the surprise throwing the net and hearing a moan…

"Did we get it?" she asked Applejack quickly, the orange pony feeling around the ground, freezing when she felt a warm furry body… she looked down and saw a large bear in the dark.

"It's a bear…?"

"How'd a bear get injured?" Rainbow dash asked confused.

"Beats me, but we got to tell the others!"

"Wait Applejack!" Rainbow Dash yelled quickly as her friend had nearly galloped off and Applejack turned to her in haste, "I want us to do more than just hang out."

"What do you want from me girl?" Applejack said hastily, really wanting to find the others.

"I want you. Like I had you tonight."

Applejack nearly lost all her steam… looking at Rainbow Dash nervous, "I want that too… but it's just too dangerous."

"Dangers my middle name."

Applejack smiled barely, before going to turn… not giving any response and Rainbow Dash just yelled after her,

"I'm seeing you tomorrow, marefriend!"

"Shoosh!" Applejack chuckled back at her, before vanishing into the dark and Rainbow Dash only smiled overjoyed, her dream was coming true… they were finally moving forward again.

She followed on laughing, reaching Applejack's side as they ran, the two yelling the others' names until they got a call back,

"We're over here!"

The two cracked up as they nudged each other playfully reaching the other three and Applejack said smiling,

"We found what was making the noise,"

Twilight looked at the two giggling bunch confused, what was so funny, so she asked suspicious,

"What is it?"

"A bear!" Dash said instantly smiling at Applejack.

"Is it alright?"

"Nah, we think it's injured."

Twilight didn't get how those two could be acting so goofy, it didn't make sense… but it felt as though they had an inner conversation going on and she turned to Rarity,

"Go and get Fluttershy,"

"Fine," the white unicorn said fussed, and turned back to the cottage.

Twilight kept her eyes still sharply on the two childish ponies… was she the only one thinking something odd was going on here… and then the conversation she had had with one of them earlier entered her mind.

They were hiding something… badly.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey! There's chapter 4, I hope you liked! So review if you have time, I'd appreciate it tonnes and I'll probably write another chapter in a couple of days! ;D Bye!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Fluttershy came down in a hurry to care for the injured bear, as Twilight used her magic to lift it towards the meek pegasus's cottage.

It wasn't long till the gang separated for the night. Applejack headed back to her home with a grin on her face. Tonight had been great, and in all honest opinion she was sad it had to end so soon. As she arrived in home she saw that all the lights of the house were off, everypony in bed and she sighed happily, wanting to get to bed too and have sweet dreams of the pony she had been with tonight.

She arrived to her room and looked out the dark window to the bright night, a full moon shining luminously in the sky and she smiled, going over to her bed and lay down just trying to slip into sleep.

Rainbow Dash couldn't sleep that night, why did things have to end so soon? Why did the two of them have to separate? It felt so unfair, so stupid… and she tossed and turned in her bed in the clouds, her pink eyes wide awake with exhilaration.

A picture came into her mind of Applejack, asleep in peaceful slumber… her friend so relaxed… and just thinking of Applejack made Dash feel at ease… it was hard being away from her, but why did Applejack have to keep denying that this thing they had would never work?

She sighed, getting out of her bed and going to her cloud window, looking at Apple acres in the distance and a undying thought came to her mind. She couldn't sleep with the earth pony on her mind all the time… being away from her was just annoying. She knew what she was thinking was a stupid idea but as soon as she thought about she couldn't get rid of it.

She smiled, leaping out of her house and began her flight to the farm. The night sky surrounded her, complete silence of the dark. But because the moon was so bright tonight she could make her way fine and she soon reached the farm house, hovering above the roof before lowering to the windows and looking through each one till she found the pony's she was looking for.

She could see Applejack asleep in her bed, but Rainbow Dash still tapped her window quietly, loud enough to be heard and Applejack turned in her bed sleepily before opening up her eyes slowly and seeing the blue Pegasus outside.

"Rainbow Dash…?" Applejack said quietly confused. She got slowly off her bed and opened up her window, Rainbow Dash flying in quickly and hovered in the room with a smile.

"What are you doing here so late?"

"I couldn't sleep." She said smiling.

"Did ya try?"

"A little," Rainbow Dash said slyly and landed on Applejack's bed confidently, the orange pony looking at her annoyed… but also slightly relieved to see her.

"Well you can't stay here for the whole night."

"Of course not… just a few minutes." She lay on the bed and looked at Applejack, smiling nervously "I just wanted to see you."

"You saw me only four hours ago?" Applejack said smiling too and went back to her bed as well, laying down and pulling the blanket over her, Rainbow Dash grabbing the edge with her mouth and wrapping it around her too.

"I thought you said you'd see me tomorrow?"

"Well it's past twelve…" Dash said slowly and Applejack grinned. She felt the pegasus's warm body curl into hers as Dash wrapped around her tightly, feeling the strong heat coming from Applejack's body and she felt the orange pony cuddle her back, closing her eyes as she snuggled her noise into Rainbow's mane.

This is what Rainbow Dash wanted, to be with Applejack, to be this close… to always be filled with the warmness. Her chest felt like all the tenseness she had had in her cloud house had eased, that she was at peace now and she could feel Applejack's chest breathing up and down against her, the slow inhaling and exhaling of a calm pony.

Rainbow Dash slowly closed her eyes too, snuggling her head against Applejack's… until eventually sleep crept up on her and she fell into lovely unconsciousness.

Her eyes crimpled a little as sunlight shone through the window and Rainbow Dash stirred gently, opening her eyes wearily as the light stirred her from her sleep and she curled in closer to Applejack, the orange pony still asleep in the morning.

Rainbow looked at her quietly, a smile growing up her lips and she kissed Applejack on the cheek saying quietly, "Good morning lazy,"

Applejack groaned awakening a little and looked sleepily into Rainbow dash's dark pink eyes, "Well… howdy."

"Hi," Rainbow Dash said in a small smile, and let go of Applejack for the first time in seven hours, stretching her legs tiredly and plopping down again, just staring at the snoozing pony.

"You should go back to sleep…" Applejack said quietly, "The alarm hasn't gone yet."

Rainbow Dash had something else planned, that popped up in her head and would certainly awaken Applejack so they could have some fun.

"I have a better idea."

She stood above Applejack and lowered slowly down on her friend, separating her hind legs and giving a small lick in the centre.

Applejack giggled… as the sensation ran up her body and chuckled saying sleepily "S-stop that,"

But Rainbow Dash didn't, and continued to lick her in the right spot, Applejack suddenly feeling a hot flush going up her and she blushed, waking up completely and looked down at Dash's grinning face. She moaned from the pleasure… her hoofs stilting as a climax was about to be hit when suddenly.

"What ya'll doing?"

The two ponies literally froze, Rainbow Dash quickly jumping off Applejack and peering at the door in horror, Applebloom standing at it confused.

"Applebloom!" Applejack said now fully awakened and she tried to hide her blushing face, getting up instantly… oh God what had they done "Rainbow Dash was j-just giving me a raspberry!"

"Oh!" Applebloom said starting to understand, "Could she give me one?"

"I don't think you want that…" Rainbow Dash said frankly and Applejack pulled her an angry look.

"Why you up so early?" Applejack asked her little sister, in almost desperation of the mortification she felt.

"I woke when I heard you groaning, I thought you were in pain."

"Quite the opposite." Rainbow Dash said quietly looking at Applejack with a grin and the orange pony frowned, looking back to her sister.

"No… just a raspberry."

"Well alrighty." Applebloom said cheerily and frolicked off with a innocent smile, but turned to Rainbow Dash quickly adding, "Are ya staying for breakfast, Rainbow Dash?"

"No… I have to get going."

"Okay!" Applebloom said with a smile and headed off downstairs. Applejack turned instantly to Rainbow Dash, a look of fury on her face as she said in rage,

"What the heck were you thinking?"

"I was thinking it'd wake you up." Rainbow Dash said, still quite proud of herself and Applejack shoved her towards the window.

"You got to go, now!"

"You know, ponies are going to start suspecting us… why don't we just tell everyone we're together?"

"Cos _we're _not!"

Rainbow Dash turned to her completely confused… what?

"Why do you keep saying that?" she said hurt and angry.

"Look, right now's not the time!" Applejack said quickly and Rainbow Dash burrowed her eyebrows hard… why couldn't Applejack just admit she liked her already and have this whole fuss of hiding it go away.

"Why don't you want to be with me?" Dash said quickly, looking her straight in the eye.

"We're just having fun, but there's a time and a place for that!" Applejack responded honestly and that really pissed Rainbow off.

"So this means nothing to you?"

"Please Rainbow! We'll talk about it later!"

"Fine, we'll talk at one o clock."

"Okay!"

Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack slowly… why did she have to deny this so much, what was so wrong about two mares being together? Rainbow Dash only sighed, taking off of the ground and flew out the window, Applejack just feeling terrible inside but she couldn't handle everyone thinking she was a fillyfooler when she wasn't even sure how she saw Rainbow Dash… she needed so much more time to think but only giving to one o clock just wasn't long enough.

She watched the pegasus in the distance, as blue and alive as the sky… and it hurt her to have to see Rainbowdash leave like this… but the judgement of other's is what she feared more.

It wasn't long till at nine Applebloom looked to her brother and asked confidently,

"Big brother, can you take me to town?"

"EeYup," Big Macintosh said feeling no hassle in the journey and the two set off to town shortly after.

Big Macintosh was a simple pony in nature, he didn't really need much in this world and liked the life on the farm. Applebloom separated from him as soon as she saw her friends and he decided to go for a stroll, taking in the early crisp air and looking around the town, seeing ponies opening shop and preparing for the day.

He eventually felt a small grumble in his stomach and lowered his head to a grassy patch, nibbling on some of the strands in an easy paced manner, the fresh dew of the morning moistening in his tongue.

"Good morning Big Mac."

He gazed his eyes up, seeing Twilight standing in front of him with a cheerful look about her and he raised his head up, nodding to her in greeting.

"Mornin'"

"How's things been of late?"

"Farm's been good, not much work today."

"That's nice, I'm looking forward to cider season soon, you're family do produce the best."

"Glad you like," Big Mac said with a goodwilled nod.

"Did you come to town by yourself?"

"And Applebloom."

"Oh, I see her," Twilight said spotting Applebloom with her two friends but her mouth dropped opened when she saw what the young filly was doing.

"Applebloom stop!" she shouted shocked and Big Macintosh looked around him too, seeing his sister giving Scootaloo oral.

The two of them rushed to the three crusaders and pulled Applebloom quickly off her friend in horror.

"Applebloom? What the?" Big Mac said in so few shocked words.

"I was just giving Scootaloo a raspberry?" the young pony said confused as Big Mac held her back.

"Where did you see someone give a raspberry like that?" Twilight said determined to find out who this sick twisted role model was.

"I saw Rainbow Dash do it to Applejack, jeeze!"

Big Mac and Twlight looked at each other, as if both realising the same thing and Big Mac let go of his sister, Applebloom looking at the two of them annoyed.

"Applebloom, never do that again." Twilight said to her sternly.

"What's the big deal?" Scootaloo asked confused.

"Yeah, it's only a raspberry?" Sweetiebelle added in lost.

"Just don't." Twilight said so warningly that the three little fillies shrunk back from her dark demeanour.

Big Mac looked very lost and confused in all this and Twilight came over to him, the two walking away from the girls before she asked.

"You know something too?"

"I thought I was imaginin'." Big Mac said unsure now of the true relationship between his sister and that blue Pegasus.

"You need to talk to her." Twilight said with a sigh, "this can't keep going on… look at what Applebloom just did."

"Yup," Big Mac said slowly nodding his head as he looked to the ground. His sister must be very lost if she was doing these types of things with another mare.

"Okay," Twilight said slowly, and had to go adding "See you soon,"

Big Mac nodded again, before turning back in the direction of the farm and knew he had to confront his sister. This had gone way too far, and this had to finally stop.

Rainbowdash could not keep influencing his sister into wrong.

* * *

><p><strong>Well here's a new chapter, I've been a bit lazy lately in drawing and writing lately but forced myself to sit down today and do some work... and by that I mean FANFICTION WORK! YAY! <strong> **Review if you like and want me to keep writing this fic.**

**I guess that's all, BYE!**


	6. Chapter 6

Applejack started off her chores for the day at eleven, a little late if she was to be honest but she had waited up for Big Mac and Applebloom to come back but gave in to impatience and started the work day herself.

Though she was a bit afraid of when the clock struck one as she had to finally have the talk with Rainbow Dash of exactly what they were doing meant.

It all just confused her, it frustrated her that she was feeling this way and that she couldn't talk to anypony else about it.

She was doing her job of picking the bad apples off the ground when she saw in the distance her brother approaching.

"Mornin' Big Mac," she greeted with a cheery smile.

"Mornin…" Big Mac responded and Applejack could hear the sadness in his voice, she looked at him confused, putting an apple in the bucket and taking a trot closer,

"Sumthin' the matter, big brother?"

"Yup…" he said looking her dead in the face and she saw the concern in his eyes "I know you have sumthin' goin' on with that Rainbow Dash,"

Applejack froze stiff… how did he know? Her heart had literally begun drumming in worry as she said hesitantly, "What d'ya mean?"

"I saw you two a couple weeks ago in the' barn… and Applebloom got influence by ya."

"Like how?" Applejack asked nervous.

"Raspberry…" Big Mac said in one simple word and Applejack gulped, "What are ya' doing Applejack? Do ya want to confuse ya'self?"

"We were only messin'" she said fast in a hesitant lie "Applebloom must hav' misunderstood what we were doin'"

"What were ya doin?" Big Mac asked quietly and Applejack just shut up, as he knew everything and lying about something like this never worked out in the end. Big Mac saw the pained look in her eyes and sighed, saying to his sister as brotherly as he could "Maybe you should spend sometime away from that pegasus."

Applejack hated how she felt… she had been trying to do that all this time… but that was a lie to even herself… and with everpony judging her that knew… her own brother, Twilight… was what she was doing so wrong.

"Applejack?" Big Mac asked quietly.

"Yes…" Applejack finally said with a heavy breath, "Yes… I will."

"I guess we best get back to work?" her brother added trying to take the hard news off his sister and she nodded, getting back to picking the rotten apples and keeping her pain to herself.

XXXX

Rainbow Dash flew towards Apple Acres when the appointed time came, but she wanted to make her arrival there sooner. She wanted Applejack to finally admit that they liked each other, she could see it in that earth pony's eyes no matter how much she denied it, honesty always shone through.

She spotted the cowpony working away in the fields and smiled in determination, beginning to descend down in eager and landed right before Applejack, the earth pony looking sullen.

"I'm here!" Rainbow Dash said loudly with a smile and Applejack only nodded, turning to get back to work and Rainbow Dash turned confused, flying before her again "Aren't we gonna talk?"

"What's there to talk about?"

"Well that we should make it official."

"This can never be official." Applejack said angrily, Rainbow Dash looking puzzled.

"Why? Are you ashamed or something?"

Applejack paused for a second… before taking a heavy breath and saying, turning so she wouldn't have to see that Pegasus's face "No… but it's us… Rainbow… how do you think something like this could ever be real?"

Rainbow stilted… what? Again Applejack was hurting feelings and Rainbow Dash couldn't understand why she would be so cruel to her, "Because I like you… and I thought you liked me?"

"Well… I don't"

Rainbow Dash knew that was a straight out lie,

"Stop saying that!"

"You don't want to hear the truth?" Applejack said hard turning and looking at her with tears in her eyes.

"Oh I see the truth." Rainbow Dash said, her dark pink eyes glaring into Applejack's, "You're ashamed of me! Anypony else you would gladly say you were with but because it's me you think its fine to just use and abuse?"

"It ain't like that!" Applejack said quickly in tears.

"Than what is it?" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Everypony thinks it's wrong, Rainbow we'd be fighting prejudice for the rest of our lives!"

"Why does it matter what other's think?" Rainbow Dash asked confused, her own defence slowly falling, "We'd have our friends to support us, who else matters?"

"My family…" Applejack said with a tear running down her cheek, "I'd lose my family."

Rainbow Dash just stared at her in disbelief… how could Applejack have guilt over what her folks would think? But Rainbow had never been close to her own family… she wouldn't care what her own parents would think, but the Apple family was Applejack's whole world.

"You know," Rainbow said hurt as she began to rise off the ground, "You can love your family and all, but you can't marry them. I wish you'd see that Applejack."

"I wish you'd see that they're everythin' to me." Applejack replied just as hurt, and Rainbow Dash left with nothing more, tears rising in her eyes when she was a good distance away.

Applejack had made her choice, she had made the wrong one… but she would never see that. She would never leave that land or that way of thinking, but she would also never leave Dash's mind. As Dash just went to her house and to her room, crying for the agony that this was not how she wanted things to go.

She wanted Applejack to just love her enough to choose her, to not care about other's opinions. She wanted Applejack to feel the same freedom she had felt when she was with her, instead of always looking around scared for wondering eyes.

She wanted to stay in her room forever… she wanted the sun to disappear for good, for her life to just rewind and take away the night in the Apple house.

She just wanted to stop feeling for that pony.

XXXX

"Rainbow Dash, are you alright?"

The blue Pegasus opened her tired eyes slowly, seeing it was yet another night in the four days her heart had broke. Before her fluttered Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash just sighed, turning over in her bed and asking the hovering pony annoyed.

"What?"

"Well, the girls and I haven't seen you for a while, we were getting worried."

"All the girls?" Dash asked quietly in hate.

"Of course, I-I came to get you for Cheerilee's party."

"I don't know Fluttershy… I'm pretty beat."

Fluttershy looked at her puzzled. Rainbow Dash was never beat.

"Oh… i-if you don't want to that's fine… but we'd really miss you."

"I just…" Rainbow Dash began but when she saw Flutteryshy's puppy dog eyes she felt annoying guilt in her chest "I guess I could come for a few hours."

"That's p-perfect," Fluttershy said with a meak smile and the two began their flight towards ponyville. Fluttershy seemed a little more nervous than usual as she said weakly "The other Pegasi have been saying that you haven't been doing your job lately."

"I just haven't been feeling well."

"Oh why didn't you say so!" Fluttershy said getting worried "Maybe you shouldn't come down to the party if you are feeling sick."

"No… I have to get out and stop thinking about the past."

"Oh… that's good," Fluttershy said slightly confused and the two saw Sugarcube corner, landing at the door and coming in, the ponies inside eating, drinking and laughing. It made Dash feel even worse.

"Hey girls!" Twilight said coming over to them with a smile, "Glad to see you could come."

"Oh, of course," Fluttershy said with a small smile and went with Twilight, the two mingling into the crowd.

Dash stood there, depression still deeply seated in her and she sighed, deciding to go find a small corner and to be left alone.

She did find a sit next to the punch and with one sip she could tell somepony had added alcohol to it. It didn't bother her, as she poured out a cup and drank it anyway, maybe the help of that special chemical would make her feel better, instead of feeling worse.

It wasn't till long that she had nearly drained the punch bowl, and stumbled around happily talking to other ponies, the night becoming more enjoyable and some happiness returning after so much pain.

"And I said, sure you could try! But I already finished it two years ago!" Rainbow Dash said with a roaring laugh and got one in return from the ponies she was with.

"Oh Rainbow Dash, you're such a laugh!" one of the ponies complimented her and Dash laughed confidently back, but paused when she saw that farm pony standing away in the distance,

Applejack.

Of course Applejack would be here, she was part of the group of friends, but all of Rainbow Dash's confidence seemed to vanish as she excused herself and hid among the crowd, peeking through pony gaps at Applejack and what the earth pony was doing.

"Applejack,"

Rainbow ducked as she saw Twilight approach Applejack with a colt.

"This here is Buckweed, he's a country pony just like you that has moved here."

"Nice to meet you Buckweed," Applejack said with a friendly smile.

"Glad to make your acquaintance, Miss Applejack."

Rainbow Dash frowned annoyed… who the heck was this guy.

"Buckweed is looking for some work on a farm," Twilight said helpfully, "So I thought you might be interested."

"Apple farm could always do with more helping hooves." Applejack said happily "But we couldn't pay you much."

"That's the funny thing," Twilight said sneaking in the agenda "He also needs a place to stay."

"Oh…" Applejack said a little taken back from that added information, she looked at Buckweed with an awkward smile "I'd of course have to discuss it with the rest of the Apple family."

"That's fine Miss Applejack, my folks just want me to get experience on other farms, I can understand your hesitancy."

"I'll tell you if we have anything for you tomorrow." She said with a friendly smile and Buckweed gave a gleam back, Twilight looking around as she said,

"I'll let you two get better acquainted, you probably have heaps in common."

Rainbow Dash felt her heart beating ten miles an hour… this young colt could possibly be moving into Appleacres… this young country colt.

Applejack talked to Buckweed for a while more before saying she was going to get a drink and that is where Rainbowdash approached her.

"Hey," she said making AJ jump startled and turned seeing the pegasus behind her. She seemed lost for words, before saying quietly,

"I didn't expect to see you here."

"You thought I'd leave ponyville after that day?" Rainbow Dash said defensively but when she saw Applejack's sorry looking eyes, she gave a small smile, "I can't hate you for long AJ"

"I think we just needed to be away from each other," Dash continued, though she was only saying what she thought Applejack wanted to hear "To think things over."

"I hav' been thinking about things…" Applejack said quietly, "But I thought this was over."

"How could it be? I love you Applejack."

Applejack nearly cringed in hearing that, her eyes tearing up… the first time a pony said that to her and she just looked at Dash in pain,

"But all we do is hurt each other-"

She felt Dash's lips suddenly against hers, kissing her rapidly and Applejack pushed her away in horror, tasting alcohol off her mouth and she looked before her as some ponies had seen and were whispering to each other, silence seeming to fall in the room.

"Rainbow, you drunk fool!" she said panicky and Rainbow Dash looked at her confused, "You can't be kissing everypony like that!"

The ponies gave bewildered looks before some chuckling whispering Dash had had a bit too many and Rainbow Dash just whispered to Applejack.

"I only wanted to show you there is nothing to be afraid of."

"You just don't care," Applejack said angry, "You want everypony to know?"

"Applejack,"

The orange pony just pushed her away in anger, walking away with tears of fury in her eyes as she heard Rainbow shout to her, "AJ!"

Pinkie who was the only one who had seen and heard everything was watching Rainbow Dash alone and her heart sunk fast.

She did not want to see her hurt by anyone.

* * *

><p><strong>I have been so lazy with updates, I just kept putting off writing this chapter but I finally did it. Sorry again for taking so long to update. I guess you can see that I'm starting to stir the pot? Why does AJ have to be so stubborn? I guess that's just her, though I feel it's more from fear. I won't set a date for the next update but I will try to do one within the next two weeks... though I do have a lot of things coming up.<strong>

**If you enjoyed then review! All reviews help and motivate.**

**I guess that's it?**

**Ta ta!**


	7. Chapter 7

Applejack left the party early, she excused herself from her friends saying she had to go home and work but all she did when she reached that farmhouse was head to her room and destroy her bed, anger making her break out as she didn't want to remember what she heard.

For what was told to her at the party was something that nearly broke her heart, something that would ruin her life if she admitted the same.

That Rainbowdash actually loved her.

She had been so blind, but she did not want to see. Didn't want to accept what they had as more than what it was.

"How can she love me?" she asked herself quietly in tears as she looked at the feathers that had been released from the pillow she had bucked in anger, "What could I possibly give her…?"

She couldn't give Rainbowdash a future, Twilight had said two mares together would only end in tragedy.

But her life was spiralling out of control even when she tried to avoid the Pegasus.

And what she felt back… it couldn't give sadness… the only sadness in denying it.

But her brother… h-her family? Why couldn't they understand, why did Big Mac think Dash would hurt her… why all these obstacles for a love that felt like it had always been there, hidden?

She only ended up in tears on her messed up bed. Terrified that she couldn't get those words out of her head.

"She said she loves me…" she whispered in a cry, hugging her blanket weakly "She said… she loves me,"

XXXX

Rainbowdash hit the ground in anger, heartache at yet another rejection. She just couldn't keep doing this. Putting herself out there just to be constantly hurt.

The alcohol was what hit her lips though, as she drank to forget, drank to get rid of the hurt, ponies laughing around her, dancing, music, until she couldn't take it anymore and everything went black.

It was so dark when she regained consciousness, finding herself in a familiar room. It was pink and she blinked her eyes slowly waking up, as she realized she was in a friend's room.

She knew which mare it was, and as she stood up, she pressed her hoof to her head groaning, her head in pain and her hoofs sticking into a soft mattress, realising she was on a bed.

She could hear no loud noise, the party seeming a distant memory and could see the moonlight shining in the window, showing the interior and how it was covered in streamers.

She got out of the bed and stumbled over to the light switch, turning it on but halted when she saw the door open and in come Pinkie.

"Pinkie," she said, still in ache from the hangover, "What am I doing in your room?"

"Don't you remember?" Pinkie asked confused "You had too much to drink and smashed into the roof when you tried to take flight."

"Really…?" Dash said, now understanding why her head hurt so much and Pinkie led her to sit down on the bed, Dash still feeling terrible, her heart and also her body from the toxins.

"I'm guessing I made a fool of myself…?" she said quietly and Pinkie giggled softly.

"Only a little."

"I guess every party needs a clown…"

"You had a right to be drunk but," Pinkie said slowly and Rainbowdash looked at her confused "You were upset…"

She nodded her head; still feeling like this was all a dream but felt Pinkie put her hoof around her shoulders as she said quietly.

"I saw what happened between you and Applejack."

Dash looked up at her in hearing this… looking into Pinkie's eyes slowly… did she know?

"Yeah… I guess I had too much to drink,"

"What she did was so mean,"

"Well I did kiss her…"

Pinkie looked at her slowly, nodding, and Dash smiled, glad to be getting some comfort.

She didn't know how much Pinkie knew, or discovered by herself, but it was good to have one friend knowing this now.

But talking about it only reminded her of the cold rejection Applejack had given. And maybe Dash had to accept it. Maybe her love… would never be returned.

"You like Applejack."

She blinked coming back to reality as she saw Pinkie's eyes looking at her warmly and she nodded her head.

"I do…"

"Why?" Pinkie asked quietly.

"The way she acts… the way she talks… she's perfect."

"But she hurt you," Pinkie said weakly. Dash didn't understand why Pinkie was talking about this, but a tear fell from her pink eyes as she nodded hurt from the event hours ago, "I would never hurt you."

Dash's tears held back suddenly lost… as if she had missed something and she looked into Pinkie's longing eyes confused.

"Pinkie what are you talking about?"

"I love you Rainbow Dash," she said shyly "But I thought you weren't like me… that you went for colts. But I saw you kiss Applejack, she was so cruel… but I wouldn't do that."

Rainbowdash couldn't believe her ears… how could she have missed this? How could she have never seen the looks Pinkie had given her? But she was so confused… she loved Applejack, but that farm pony didn't want to be with her… didn't love her and all she had caused Dash was pain.

But before she could really think things over she suddenly felt Pinkie kiss her, the pink lips intertwining with her own and all she wanted was to be loved. She kissed Pinkie back, pressing against her longingly as Pinkie pushed her slowly over on the bed, going on top of Dash and kissing her deeply.

It was soft, it was different to Applejack… but it was with someone who wanted her. Someone who wasn't afraid and Dash let it continue, the kissing and caressing becoming more evasive, more out of control as she felt her still slightly drunken self give into the lust, Pinkie grinding herself against Rainbowdash as she whispered,

"I love you so much Rainbow,"

Dash only groaning in pleasure, but the night seemed almost like a dream… an event that she only seemed to understand for its reality as she woke up the next day, Pinkie holding her close in her hoofs, Dash's eyes looking around confused.

And then she saw Pinkie. Not knowing how she felt but knowing one thing.

Pinkie wasn't ashamed of it. Pinkie wasn't afraid.

And that maybe she had to move on from that country pony… even if it was forced.

XXXX

Applejack didn't talk much to her family the next day, not bringing up the fact of the noise she had made in her room last night and the mess she had left behind.

But Big Mac and Applebloom still had worried faces on as they ate awkwardly before the young filly finally asked.

"Applejack? What were you doin' in your room last night?"

"I was…" Applejack said, only chewing her hay quietly not knowing how she could explain how she felt… knowing it wouldn't be understood, "I was just redecorating…"

"Cool!" Applebloom said cheerfully "Can I redecorate too?"

"I don't think so Applebloom…" AJ said quietly, her eyes just drifting sadly down and Big Mac looked at his sister afraid, he had never seen her this withdrawn.

"You want us to help you clean your room, sis?" he asked trying to be helpful… but knew somehow this was his fault the way she was feeling.

"No… don't worry, I'll do it later…" Applejack said quietly with a sigh, and the room fell silent again until a knock was heard at the front door and before anyone else could get up, AJ was already heading to answer it, getting away from those judgemental eyes.

When she opened it she blinked finally becoming present in the moment as she saw Buckweed there with a smile on his face.

"Oh… you from the party," Applejack said looking at him confused.

"Yes Miss Applejack, I just dropped by to know if you and your family had decided on allowing me to stay?"

"Shoot, I forgot to bring it up…" she admitted biting her lip awkwardly, but froze when she felt Big Mac approach her and look at the young colt confused.

"What's goin' on Applejack?"

"Oh, this is Buckweed," she said quickly looking to Big Mac nervous "He's a farm horse from away and he was wondering if we had some work and room here for him to stay."

Big Mac looked at the young stallion with a wondering eye, but just shrugged, smiling at the colt saying kindly "I guess we could use a helping hoof. He could take the guest room."

"Oh thank you Mister…"

"Big Macintosh."

"We just call him Big Mac," Applejack said quietly and Buckweed nodded his head. The three stood there not knowing where to go from that so Big Mac just said to his sister,

"Show him to the guest room,"

"Fine..." Applejack said a little tired from everything, she didn't want to have to deal with making a new pony feel comfortable in their home at the moment but she couldn't be rude and nodded her head up the stairs, leading Buckweed away.

"You hav' a mighty fine house Miss Applejack."

"You don't need to say Miss, Buckweed." Applejack said as they reached the top of the stairs "We're all equals."

"Sorry…" he said with a nervous laugh "Mah parents brought me up strict you see."

"Yeah, I know how it is…" Applejack said with a sigh and opened the door, showing him the spare room, "We usually use this room for relatives, but you can sleep here I guess for now."

"Very much obliged."

"You want something to eat or drink?" Applejack asked trying to be hospitable and Buckweed shook his head with a chuckle.

"No thanks Ma'm… Applejack… I'd just like to get to work really."

Applejack looked at him questioning… but she knew the young colt had come to this area for experience and just said "Well, we'll be starting work in about half an hour, You can wander around the house if ya like, and we'll call you when we begin."

"Err… okay?" Buckweed said nervously with a smile, "You sure you folks don't mind me in your home?"

"Well Granny Smith might wonder who the stranger is, but it won't be a big problem."

"Thank you Applejack." Buckweed said slowly looking uncertainly at the orange country pony "I really appreciate what you and your family here has done for me."

"It's… alright," she said feeling slightly awkward from his declaration, "Anyway, I gotta go… my room needs… a cleanin'"

He nodded with a smile and she left feeling slightly on edge, it was going to be hard getting used to another pony being in her home, and she had already too much going on in her head.

When she arrived back in her room she only sighed at the mess. She still couldn't believe that Rainbow's feelings for her were so much deeper than what she thought. But no one wanted them to be… Big Mac had made it clear… but had he really…? What Rainbowdash felt for her was real… but she couldn't betray her family. She couldn't go forward in anything when she still didn't understand her own emotions.

She was just so afraid… afraid of being with that Pegasus… afraid of letting her own heart get hurt by Dash's recklessness if she ever did choose her. She always thought she was so brave but in the last few weeks all she had done was cower at the strangeness of this feeling... love… if that was even what that was.

She looked at her room… she had been thinking too much, been in too much distress and it could show with the mess in front of her eyes.

Before she knew what to do she had to first clean up her room… and clean up her mind.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah new chapter! I honestly don't have much to say if you like review! and I'll update again sooner than later :D<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

Work, one thing that she used to love, but now the thing she had to do to get her mind free of thoughts.

Applejack bucked the tree hard. She didn't know how to solve anything else but with bucking. A physical act for a physical task. The sun was shining brightly down on the land, lighting the green rims of the grass and even though like always a beautiful day, she just couldn't linger in the heat, but had to work out who she was and what she wanted.

Big Mac looked at her from away, seeing the sweat pour off his sister and the extensive work she was laying on herself. He was almost afraid to even bring it up again, knowing his sister's pain was from his own prejudice… but if he turned in favour of this strange relationship, who would even back him up?

Maybe she really was just confused, she hadn't been around too many colts and he blinked looking over to Buckweed as he approached with a cart… maybe, she just needed a push.

"Got the cart like you asked Big Mac," Buckweed said with a bright smile and the older male nodded, nudging his eyes over to his sister as he said casually,

"Help Applejack, she's a little stressed,"

Buckweed looked over to the pretty mare and nodded his head, walking over and pulling the cart next to Applejack's tree.

The orange pony looked at him slightly unhinged… she really didn't want to be around anyone, especially someone she didn't know or care for, or who even cared for her for that matter.

"Need help, Applejack?" Buckweed asked with a friendly smile.

"Err, yeah… just collect them," she said quietly and he nodded his head happily, throwing the buckets of apples into the cart but looked at the mare a little cautious, as he said,

"You know, your family really are great for taken me in,"

"It's free labour," Applejack replied absentmindedly, bucking another tree so hard the ground around it vibrated. Buckweed shook from the impact and just carried the cart over to the next one, doing his job of retrieving.

"Oh I know, but still."

"Why did your folks let you even leave home?" Applejack asked, making conversation as she trotted away.

"They wanted me to know what it was to be independent, to see the world in a different light."

"Right…?"

"So when I returned I would be able to handle taken on the farm by myself."

"Don't you hav' any siblings ta help?" Applejack asked confused and Buckweed became quiet. She felt like she should zip her tongue, but she didn't care too much being sensitive to feelings and just added "well?"

"Heh heh, my mum… died in childbirth with me." He seemed nervous as he added a laugh to his declaration and now Applejack just felt like the biggest jerk ever.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She said, and turned to look at the young colt, trying to give a comforting smile but something still struck her as odd and she asked confused "Then why were you saying your folks?"

"I live on a plantation of sorts," Buckweed said a little hesistant, "My extended family and myself run parts of it… but once my father goes, I have to take care of my own land… so that's why I left for experience."

"Wow sounds… hard," Applejack said with a nervous laugh… she really wasn't handling this conversation well, but she didn't expect Buckweed to give her all this information when she hardly knew the colt.

Buckweed nodded his head, collecting the apples again but had also held his tongue in not telling all the necessaries. He had left home for more than experience; he had also left to find a mare. And looking at the strength in Applejack, plus her strong will… maybe he should chance it and get to know this pony… even if she scared him a little.

"So what about your history?" he asked trying to be charismatic "Do your parents work in another part of this area…?"

"My parents…" Applejack said hesitantly… she hated how she always had to explain this to every new pony, "they're dead."

"Oh,"

"It doesn't hurt so much anymore… you just realize life goes on and ya can't let go of responsibilities."

"That's very brave…" he said looking at her with a kind smile, and she smiled back nervously.

"Life isn't always fair I suppose," she said carrying on a little shy to really be talking so melancholy, "But some things I wouldn't change… even if they hurt… because they made me see."

"I… never thought about it that way," Buckweed said, listening intently but not really understanding the full statement that Applejack just made.

She only had that one thought on her mind… the most recent events that all stemmed from a stormy night, no night being so frightening since… just her thoughts in how she could face it or move on… the former being the harder to do.

Big Mac looked at the two ponies talking and smiled… maybe that little push towards the norm is all his sister needed… and maybe, he could change her ways, make her part of the world that worked.

XXXX

Applejack kept finding that in every area of her work life, that young colt appeared to give a helping hoof. She had been suspicious of him at first, not knowing what he wanted… but soon it was realized he was just looking for a companion, and she seemed to be the only one he kept spotting on her own.

He was a nice colt, seeming to know modesty and humility more than some of her best friends did.

He had a yellow coat and a scruffy white mane. She always was a bit curious of what his cutie mark meant, a tree with a compass on it, and decided to ask one day what it was about.

"It means, I will always find the best trees to get the fruit from… I guess kind of like a sixth sense."

"Funny," she said with a smile.

She knew after a couple of days she felt something more for this colt. He seemed kind, respectful and a decent pony.

He wouldn't fight and always had a smile on his face, him usually being the first pony she saw in the morning and the last one she talked to at night.

But there was another reason why she had gotten close to this pony. She had to show herself that what she felt for Rainbow Dash was only a lie… she had to see what it was like to be around a colt.

It was stupid really… but she honestly did like Buckweed as a pony. She kept telling herself that what she felt for him could be more… that it had to be, he was near perfect for her.

He was what society told her she should want, what society told her would bring her happiness.

Even her brother always left when she was with Buckweed, everyone trying to push her with the colt.

And then on the forth day Buckweed said a little shyly while they threw hay bails into the barn.

"You know Applejack… you really are amazing…"

She paused, smiling nervously, as she looked at Buckweed beside her and replied back.

"You're a pretty great pony too, Buckweed…"

He seemed to turn away shyly with a hidden smile, but said as casually as he could,

"I was just wonderin'… we've really gotten to know each other the past few days… would you perhaps… like to go out tonight?"

Applejack's heart beat suddenly fifty times faster than it had ever done… she had seen this coming yet it still scared her when the question was asked. It scared her what Rainbow Dash would think… Rainbow Dash the other way of life… the one everyone was against her choosing. The one she was meant to avoid.

She looked at Buckweed with a smile, trying to be as open and grateful as he had been towards her and just said weakly,

"Okay…"

"Really?" he said surprised, a smile growing across his mouth eagerly, she had said yes, "Applejack, that's great!"

"Yeah," she said quietly with a small smile, "I guess it is…"

"Meet me in the meadow at five this evening," he said eagerly and before leaving as if to prepare, he grabbed her in a hug… Applejack hugging weakly back, before Buckweed vanished out the door and she sighed.

This is what ponies wanted… this is what she was meant to want.

She found herself walking back and forth in her room worried though as the time drew close. Her first date… her first step in forgetting that rainbow coloured Pegasus. What was she so hesitant about… why did this feel wrong to her?

She shuddered when the clock struck four thirty and knew she had to get heading. She had dressed herself up in a summery yellow dress, her mane let down to show her blonde long hair.

She took a breath as she left the house and headed for the meadow, her steps soft and not fully there… she was just so afraid.

She finally saw what Buckweed had planned, as the young colt was waiting for her, a picnic spread across the grass and she smiled, coming over to him and saying nervously,

"Sure looks lovely."

"Applejack," he said taken back by her appearance, "You look beautiful."

"It's just something I threw on," she lied and sat down, the two beginning the date.

And soon her fear disappeared. It was Buckweed, the gentle colt that had a heart of gold… his flattery and jokey nature, talking to her like she was the greatest pony in the world.

He wasn't a threat like he once was in the past… he was a friend, someone who understood her and liked her for what she was… someone that she might be happy with.

But that Pegasus still lingered in the back of her head no matter how much she enjoyed herself tonight… the light feel of those blue feathers… that cheeky smile.

She had to get her out of her mind… she couldn't keep thinking about her like that, when no one wanted that.

She looked before her as Buckweed leaned slowly forward saying,

"Applejack…?"

"Yeah…" she said quietly and felt his lips touch hers… the musky breath filling her mouth as she kissed him back.

His lips were harder than Dash's… strong… but she felt nothing when they kissed.

No this couldn't be right…

She kissed him back faster, surprising Buckweed as she held him close to her, kissing him hard… but still it felt like it was only an act of physicality… not that spark, not that moment that told her she needed him to live.

She pulled him on top of her, pressing against his body briskly saying in near tears, "Just do it,"

"Are you sure?" he said afraid but wanting it so bad.

"Yes!" she said in a cry and he pushed into her… the intense pleasure going through his body… her light fur smelling delirious, her lips so warm and moist.

But no… no matter how much she wanted him… this wasn't right.

It wasn't her!

It wasn't Rainbow Dash!

No matter how much society told her this was right, all her gut kept telling her was how wrong this felt.

This fur was not Dash's, those brown eyes were not pink.

His lips didn't taste the same, he didn't look the same!

He wasn't her and he would never be her!

And she started to cry, Buckweed looking at her confused as he hesitantly pulled out of her, a worried face on him as he said desperately,

"Applejack I'm so sorry! I thought this was what you wanted?"

"No!" She cried, laying there, tears streaming down her cheeks. She needed Rainbow Dash… she couldn't deny it anymore.

She loved her… she had to be with her… and she had to find her and tell her.

"Was it me?" Buckweed asked quietly, feeling like he had been hit by a train the way he felt and she just shook her head, getting up and crying,

"No…"

She couldn't lie anymore… not to him, not to anyone.

"I'm in love with someone else."

That was like a knife through his chest and all she said after that was,

"I'm sorry…" taking one last look at him and leaving after that. She had to find Rainbow Dash and tell her what she had finally let herself discover.

She had to tell her that she loved her.

* * *

><p><strong>People keep telling me to update more so I'm trying. I know this chapter had no Dash, but it was really about Applejack's own discovery. Review and keep reading, I really am trying to update more often. Bye! <strong>


	9. Chapter 9

Applejack needed to find her… what she had finally let herself know was too much to keep hidden anymore.

She went home in a hurry, ripping off her dress and fixing her hair back up in its pony tail… there was no need to impress with that Pegasus, Dash had always loved her for what she was, not what she wasn't.

Why did it take an act of physicality to make her see that she had only been lying to herself for weeks? Why didn't she just admit it a month ago, she and Dash could be already happy now, but she felt she had to go through this… uncertainty something she had to have to know when the time was finally presented, a choice to either pick the norm or the truth.

That she was a fillyfooler, and that she was in love with Rainbowdash.

She put on her hat and looked at herself in the mirror, breathing in and out with heavy breaths, preparing for the moment she never thought she'd have with another pony.

When she would finally say those words,

"I love you too."

She smiled bravely, preparing to leave the house, the sun sending an orange light across ponyville as the night began its descent but it would be a full hour before everything was dark.

"I'm heading to town!" Applejack called through the house as she headed downstairs but saw Big Mac waiting at the bottom of them confused and she swallowed nervous.

"I thought you were with Buckweed?" he asked with a lost face and Applejack just shook her head, pushing past him and Big Mac turned around confused, "Why you headin' into town?"

Applejack looked at him quietly but said in a strong voice,

"I have to tell Rainbowdash I love her."

Big Mac looked at her shocked, "What are ya talkin' about?"

"I'm in love with a mare, I thought that was gathered."

Big Mac didn't understand what went wrong. She had gotten on so well with Buckweed, he thought he had seen a spark between them and tried to stop saying as reasonably as he could,

"Maybe you should think before you go announcing something like that?"

"No." Applejack said hard, looking at her brother crossly as he wouldn't get out of the way, "I have thought enough about this. Please just let me go."

He looked at her worried… she was going to do it; she was going to be different. But he didn't want to fight her, seeing those eyes, the certainty that was in them he just stepped aside saying quietly,

"Okay."

Applejack almost paused when she heard that answer… she looked at Big Mac slowly… he was letting her go. She didn't know what to do… she still had to tell Dash but said to her brother slowly,

"Thank you…"

Before leaving the house and galloping into town. Her heart beat a thousand times a second… so scared that she was getting closer and closer to reaching that Pegasus, so frightened of admitting those words to Dash's face.

But even more scared if she didn't.

She entered the town, ponies passing her in conversation and she looked around quickly. Every corner she looked at was empty of that blue Pegasus. Even the sky had not a pony in it.

"Where are you?" she said scared, knowing if she didn't get it out of her she would explode. Her heart was nearly paining her the speed it was beating, so happy to let her know, she was glad she had finally accepted it.

She stopped her searching when she spotted Rarity coming out of her house and called quickly her name.

The unicorn looked at her bewildered as Applejack ran to her in gasps asking desperately,

"Where's Rainbowdash?"

"Oh, I believe she's at Twilight's. She and Pinkie have something to tell us."

"She's at Twilight's?" Applejack said quickly taking in the information and was about to run that direction but Rarity pulled her back by the tail laughing,

"Oh Applejack, no need to take off. Come, walk with me, I haven't seen you in days."

"Well, I've been a might busy…" Applejack said eager to catch Rainbow Dash but sighed when she saw Rarity's pout and said, "I don't suppose you're heading to Twilight's?"

"Yes, I'm eager to know what is so urgent." Rarity said with excited eyes.

"Why… what is going on?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm so eager to find out."

Something seemed to not feel right in Applejack's gut… what was it that Pinkie and Dash had to announce? Were they throwing another party?

She just wanted to run to that house and spill her guts, but now knowing all her friends would be there it made her cautious. She could tell Dash when the news had been given, she honestly didn't think she could admit her feelings in front of a crowd so big, no matter how brave she felt.

The two finally reached the library, Applejack's heart still beating a million miles an hour and she took a breath as she entered into the house, seeing Twilight making tea with a worried look on her face and Dash and Pinkie sitting down at the table, talking quietly… Pinkie and Dash… quiet?

Something didn't sit right with her, Pinkie was never this reserved, Dash never this sullen.

Had she really broke her heart that bad at the party?

She walked nervously over to the table, Dash looking up to see who had arrived and nearly froze when she saw that orange pony… Applejack was not meant to be here.

"Everypony want tea?" Twilight said hesitantly and the others all responded with silent nods, Rarity the only one saying quite honoured,

"Yes of course."

The white unicorn looked at the sullen crowd confused, why had everyone suddenly gone so quiet?

"I can't wait to hear this news," she said to Dash and Pinkie, "Is it something to do with a party?"

"It's better," Pinkie said with a wink, getting a little more life back into her when someone had finally spoken.

"It's fine…" Dash said nervously looking at her friends, looking at Applejack with a gulp, "It won't really affect you."

"Why…" Applejack asked. Looking in Dash's eye she knew it was not something she wanted to hear… somehow she felt like whatever it was was going to break her heart.

"It doesn't matter to you…" Dash said quietly, not even giving the will power to face that earth pony… and tell her what her decision had been… though why would Applejack care? She had always made it plain how she saw her.

The door was knocked on and Twilight opened it with her magic, Fluttershy coming in with a shy smile as she approached her friends and sat down with a little curiosity,

"When you girls said it was big news, it really peaked my interest." She said nervously with a smile and Pinkie smiled back at her happily.

"It really is, but nothing's going to change between us."

"You girls sure have been holding it back," Twilight said coming to the table and floating cups of tea in front of every pony, "Well we're all here now, what is it?"

Pinkie looked at Dash with loving eyes, nudging the Pegasus whispering,

"You tell them."

Dash swallowed, she looked at Applejack, that orange pony watching her with a concentration so hard it scared her.

"Me and Pinkie… are together."

The ponies all grew silent, Applejack nearly feeling tears rise in her eyes as she was the first to speak,

"…what?"

"We're in love…" Pinkie said hugging Dash's hoof and Applejack felt like she had to escape the room… this couldn't be happening.

Dash looked at her friends nervously, adding "We're taking it slow,"

"Are you two sure about this?" Twilight asked worried, "Are you sure this is love?"

"Well I'm sure," Pinkie said with a smile.

"Well… I'm happy for you," she said quietly and Applejack opened her mouth… Twilight was accepting this but had always pushed it on her that mares couldn't be.

"I think it's amazing," Fluttershy said nervously but with a smile, "I always wanted two of my best friends to find the pony of their dreams, and I couldn't think of a better couple."

"Yeah…" Dash replied in a quiet voice… Applejack hadn't said anything yet, at least she could let her know she was glad Dash was with someone now.

"Should we tell others?" Rarity asked a little in wonder, "Or would you prefer some time?"

"Well I want to tell everypony! But Dashie says we should see how we go." Pinkie said kissing Rainbow Dash on the cheek and Applejack just got up, she couldn't take anymore.

"I have to go," was all she said and she walked to the door, her tears nearly falling out and giving her away. How could she be so stupid… how could she think that happiness was meant for her.

The two deserved each other, while she got just what was coming to her. She had waited… she thought Dash would wait, but no… that pony saw how she was, and decided to get someone who wasn't her. Someone who was opened. Someone who had said it first.

"S-stupid door," she muttered as she stumbled to get it opened and the ponies all looked over at her confused.

"You okay AJ?"

"They need me at the f-farm," she lied in tears and finally got the door opened running out in all her speed, Dash looking after her worried.

Something was wrong.

Applejack was sad… that pony could never hide emotions and she got up in a hurry saying to her friends,

"I'll go check on Applejack."

"What, no…" Pinkie said quickly going in front of her, "We have so much more to tell the others…"

"Something's clearly wrong with her," Dash said, her patience wearing thin and her worrying only growing, "I need to make sure we're clear."

Pinkie didn't want Applejack anyway near her marefriend, she knew Dash still had feelings for her, why didn't she care enough about her to not go.

"Pinkie," Dash said fast, and Pinkie only looked at her with worried eyes, "Trust me."

"Alright…" she said quietly, stepping aside as Dash ran out the door and into the sky, looking quickly around for that farm horse.

She soon spotted Applejack running in the distance and flew after her fast.

Applejack could hear the zoom and bit her lip in tears… no, no, no! She couldn't be around her, she couldn't tell her now! She galloped faster trying to outrun that Pegasus but only heard a determined shout,

"APPLEJACK!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She cried back, picking up all the speed she could as she entered into the country and felt Rainbowdash fly right above her yelling,

"WHAT'S WRONG!"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!" she yelled desperately, but her heartbreak was so much in her voice Dash couldn't stand to just accept that.

"Applejack! Talk to me!"

"_NO!_" she yelled but Dash couldn't let her go and so grabbed her suddenly pulling her into the air, Applejack fighting desperately to get loose as she saw the ground leave her.

"LET ME GO!" she pleaded in a cry, she couldn't tell her, she couldn't be near her and Dash only fought to hold her hostage in the air,

"Tell me what's wrong!"

"YOU CHOSE HER!" Applejack yelled in tears and Dash nearly dropped her startled by what she said, "You didn't give me time!"

"You told me you didn't want anything!" Rainbowdash yelled angrily at her, confused and feeling like she would cry if she kept up this lie.

"Please Rainbow! Put me down!" Applejack begged.

"Tell me why you get to choose who I'm with!" Dash demanded nearly dropping Applejack again, the two so high up in the air it was a serious threat.

"B-because…"

"_WHY!_"

"Because!" she cried, struggling so much in the others hoof, knowing she couldn't keep it in and just screamed "BECAUSE I LOVE _YOU!_"

Rainbowdash dropped her with that, Applejack falling through the sky but the Pegasus caught her just as she was about to hit the ground landing them both on the grass and she just looked at Applejack lost and hurt.

"You s-said you didn't want me?" she said so confused… "Why are you saying this…?"

Applejack just wanted to run away… but there was nowhere to run to now, Rainbowdash knew… she was defenceless… and she just cried.

"I'm s-sorry!" she said, what had she done? Why couldn't she just let it go? Why couldn't she have kept it in, "I love you…!" she cried "I love you! I love you! I LOVE YOU!" she yelled and Dash just looked at her silently.

Applejack felt like she deserved to die… she was never meant to break anyone up… she was never meant to have things go this way.

Dash just stared at her, Applejack crying as they stood in the field.

And just whispered,

"I… love you too."

Applejack gulped when she heard that… she looked up to Dash in tears… a unwanted smile coming across her lips as she wiped her face and whispered,

"You don't mean that…"

But felt Dash approach her and kiss her, Applejack thinking this must all be in her head as she kissed Dash desperately back.

Their lips pushed together hard, Dash tasting some of AJ's tears on her tongue… and even though she knew how wrong this was… the heart she was breaking, she couldn't pull herself away from her, the two kissing for a few minutes in love before Applejack muttered scared,

"What about Pinkie…?"

"What about you?" Dash retorted and Applejack looked at her still with a scared face,

"What about YOU?" she asked back.

"I love you, Applejack…" Dash said in a whisper, hugging the pony tight in her hoofs, Applejack not knowing what else to say before Dash finally said quietly "…and I don't know what to do."

"Stay with me," Applejack said weakly, feeling Dash's warmness… feeling her heart beat against her own, "Let's just stay here for the night."

"What have I done…" Rainbow said quietly realizing now her choice; and she look into Applejack's green eyes… "Why did I do this?"

"Because you love me," Applejack said silently and Dash smiled at her weakly. She knew she would have to face what her decision had been tomorrow, but tonight… she couldn't leave Applejack.

She pushed the orange pony over, lying next to her on the grass as she looked into her sparkling eyes. The night finally here and the two looked up to the sky of stars.

All Rainbowdash wanted to do was kiss Applejack again and again, but knew she couldn't.

She had to first face Pinkie. She had to face what she had chosen,

…she had to break a heart.

* * *

><p><strong>I just had to get this chapter out, I've had the scene in my head of Applejack admitting her feelings for so long that I'm glad I finally got to write it. Review, still more chapters ahead. You are so lucky I have so much time I can update twice in two days :) Who knows, I may even update tomorrow if the inspiration keeps. Review, review, review! COOKIES! :P <strong>


	10. Chapter 10

Rainbowdash's eyes opened weakly as she stirred from the ground, feeling Applejack being held in her hoofs.

She looked slowly at the snoozing pony and smiled, she didn't remember how AJ had ended up in her hoofs during the night but she didn't care, and wrapped around her, hugging her tightly and heard a relaxed moan come from the orange horse.

In her sleepy daze, Dash could barely remember what she had to do today, just wanted to lay there with the pony she loved until the end of time.

She felt Applejack move slightly, the pony opening up her green eyes, and just sighed in relief when she saw that Pegasus, nuzzling into her, smelling her mane and Dash just giggled.

"You're still here," she heard Applejack say happily and felt her kiss her down her neck, hugging her tight back and Dash just laughed feeling slightly ticklish.

"You didn't think I'd leave you now?" she said slowly, feeling Applejack's hot breath against her and her body felt incredibly relaxed, free of all stress and filled with love that had finally been returned.

"I was jus' afraid I had imagined it all," Applejack said quietly and looked back into those amazing pink eyes, leaning her head forward to kiss Dash but the Pegasus rejected it by moving her face away and Applejack only ended up planting a kiss on her cheek. She looked up at Dash confused,

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do this until I end it with Pinkie."

Applejack admired Rainbowdash's loyalty but just pouted with a fed up breath out,

"I know…"

She felt Dash reach her hoof forward to hold her face as she kissed her on the cheek… just wanting to taste Applejack one more time before she had to face her problem and got up on her all fours, Applejack looking at her sadly.

"How long will you be?"

"However long as it takes." Dash said knowing what she was about to do was going to have bad consequences… she now blamed AJ a little for not telling her she loved her until after the announcement and began to take off from the ground, flying silently through the sky back to Ponyville and taking a deep breath in as she saw Pinkie's home. She descended weakly down and knocked on the door… she didn't know how she could do this.

She waited a few seconds before the door was opened by Mrs. Cake and smiled nervously.

"Hey, is Pinkie here?"

"Yes, she's up in her room." Mrs. Cake said happily and Dash nodded weakly, coming in and walking up the steps, knocking on Pinkie's door quietly before entering and saying with hardly a brave voice,

"Pinkie…?"

"Hi," she heard a voice call back and shut her eyes… how could she do this?

Pinkie came over to her with a smile, about to kiss Dash on the cheek but the Pegasus stepped away from her and Pinkie looked at her worried saying,

"You never came back last night…" she looked quietly into her face "were you fighting with AJ?"

"No," Rainbowdash said weakly and sighed "We need to talk."

Pinkie nearly lost her breath when she heard those words… those terrible words she never wanted to hear and wanted to escape from the scene… but there was no exit and she asked scared,

"About what?"

"I found Applejack last night…" Dash said weakly… how was she going to say this, say it to those loving eyes that looked like they were barely holding back tears "and she told me… she loves me."

No, this couldn't be happening, Pinkie just began to shake, her voice becoming a little unsteady as she asked, hoping Dash had done the right thing,

"What did you do?"

Rainbowdash couldn't stand seeing that distressed face, the pain she was causing and just said in near tears herself, "I kissed her,"

Pinkie felt like her heart at that moment had been ripped out saying quickly in panic "But you just weren't thinking, you came here to tell me you're sorry… I forgive Dashie! We can w-work through it!"

"Pinkie…" Dash said shaking terrified, not knowing how she could say it. Her heart beating fast as she looked at the pink pony… her marefriend and just said, "I love her too."

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do!" Dash said back, she couldn't keep in the lies she had been telling herself since she had been with Pinkie… she couldn't be with her, but breaking her heart was too much to take.

"We told all our friends!" Pinkie said desperately, NO! This couldn't just be it, this couldn't be the end when it had barely even begun "You let me tell all our friends! A-and now you're leaving me… FOR SOMEONE WHO HURT YOU?"

"Pinkie I love her!" Dash yelled back, how many times did she have to say it and tears just streamed down Pinkie's face, the pony crying in agony as she yelled.

"YOU LIED TO ME!" stepping back, she had to get away from her, "You made me believe that you LOVED _ME_!"

"Pinkie I do love you!" Dash said, desperate to take away those tears, "But not the same way!"

"GET OUT!" Pinkie yelled, throwing a pillow at her… she just wanted to hurt the Pegasus, make her feel the pain she was torturing her with "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Pinkie!" Dash said frightened for what she had done, "I'm sorry!"

"GET _OUT!_" Pinkie screamed and Dash didn't know what to do. She left in tears, she couldn't stand there seeing what she had caused.

Pinkie fell on her bed, her tears soaking into the blankets fast… she hated her! SHE HATED HER! But she couldn't get rid of the agonising pain… knowing that her love had been taken from her. That Rainbowdash had left her!

Dash just ran out of the house… what had she done? How could she have done this to Pinkie? But if she stayed with that pony all she would be doing is be living a lie. She didn't love her, she never loved her… she had always been a replacement for Applejack!

She took off into the air, tears falling from her eyes until she spotted Appleacres and landed at the door, crying in the pain she felt from Pinkie.

She knocked on the door desperately and saw Applejack open it, the orange pony's smile disappearing as she saw the hurt in her love's eyes and just felt Dash hug her whispering in tears.

"I caused her so much pain,"

Applejack stroked her mane, not knowing what else to do.

"I ruined her!"

"You didn't love her…" Applejack only whispered back, "You did what you had to."

How did Applejack always know what to say? She looked into her eyes, tears still streaming down her own but kissed AJ without another thought, allowing herself to be free… allowing herself to love her back but Applejack just withdrew.

"It's never a good idea when one's upset." She said with a small smile.

"But I want you," Dash said back in tears and Applejack just shook her head.

"You can help me out in the fields…" she whispered, kissing Dash weakly on the cheek and the Pegasus just nodded her head slowly, following Applejack out. As long as she had her, she knew this pain would go away...

XXXXX

Pinkie lay on her bed… her eyes not able to cry anymore… just feeling a tearing in her chest, a pain so brutal.

She had to tell everyone that she and Dash weren't together anymore.

Dash had let her make a fool of herself, let her believe she loved her. Had she been lying to her this whole time?

She didn't know what to say when the word soon spread about Applejack's and Rainbowdash's relationship.

There were ponies that whispered about it, others that didn't.

Her friends looking at her confused as she told them she wasn't with her anymore.

"Why?" Twilight asked.

She couldn't say that Dash had chosen Applejack over her.

"It's just over."

But they soon saw those two ponies with each other, the look in their eyes, and understood.

Pinkie couldn't bare it, everywhere she looked, everywhere she went… all ponies could talk about was Rainbowdash and Applejack.

"Good for them," she heard some say,

"It's disgusting." Others said.

"She was mine…" she only whispered to herself in tears… but no one knew besides her friends… no one knew that Dash was originally hers.

She soon started to see Dash smiling again as she looked at her in the distance… the Pegasus getting over her in only a few weeks, those happy eyes always looking at Applejack.

She just couldn't escape… her friends treating her cautiously, not bringing up the fact that the night she had announced hers and Dash's relationship was the night Dash had been stolen from her.

She was humiliated… humiliated to the ends of the world. But Dash could not see what she had done to her… didn't even look her way. The pain she had caused… the love she had crushed.

She was with Rarity who comforted her that Monday night, patting her softly on the back as the unicorn said quietly.

"Pinkie, we've been worried about you."

"Why…?" she asked barely.

"You haven't talked to us about what happened, sweetie, we're scared for you."

"She humiliated me… what else can I say."

"She didn't mean it… you two were only just beginning…" Rarity said trying to make her see everything for what is was "Most relationships end in the first two weeks."

"She made me believe she loved me."

"We all love you Pinkie," Rarity said, she couldn't stand seeing her friend like this, in this much pain "Please just come out with me tonight, we'll have tea at Twilight's… please dear."

The two were sitting at the table in Sugarcube corner. Rarity had come over to talk to her, to see how she was doing… the smell of treats from the kitchen door… the brightness of the house… yet all Pinkie was was in pain.

"Not tonight," Pinkie said weakly, her voice not even there "I just can't."

"Okay…" Rarity said worried… she had been trying for hours to make Pinkie see… but as time had gone by, her determination was starting to wear and she finally got up, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Pinkie said nothing to that and Rarity just shut the door, leaving her alone.

Pinkie only wanted the pain to go away… for her insides to stop hurting. She wanted ponies to stop laughing at her, to stop pitying her. She just wanted to be free… wanted to take away the pain.

She felt like there was no escape… nowhere to go. She was alone in this world, no one understood how she felt. She just wanted to die… not exist in so much pain.

Her eyes looked away to the glistening knife on the stand.

It reflected in her pupils as she looked at it.

XXXXX

The Apple home had grown in awkwardness among the family. Applejack didn't dare make her family feel weird, she wasn't the vindictive type, and when Rainbowdash had come over that night the two had only hurried to her room, being alone as they lay on her bed.

The two giggled as they lay beside each other, Dash looking into Applejack's amazing eyes… the last week had been the best week of her life.

Who knew love could be this good. Who knew love could be this incredible.

She smiled at her marefriend, caressing her face with her hoof and Applejack only grinned back asking,

"What ya thinkin'?"

"I'm thinking about you…" Dash said and rolled her eyes "Duh,"

AJ giggled "You really don't have many interests do ya?"

"This coming from the pony who has Apples for her cutie mark, lives on an apple farm and is named Applejack?" Dash teased and Applejack just laughed, tickling her suddenly, the Pegasus bursting out into hysteria as she tried to push AJ off but felt her lips suddenly been kissed and she kissed her like a maniac back.

When they broke apart Dash just grinned whispering "And you know what?"

"What?" Applejack asked with enticed eyes.

"You taste like apples too."

AJ just giggled, hugging Dash as she pulled her on top of her, rubbing her face against hers, just wanting to feel every part of the Pegasus.

Dash felt herself going hot being so close to Applejack… this truly had to be her imagination… life couldn't get this great and she whispered in her ear.

"Let's make love."

Applejack looked at her slowly, seeing Dash's infatuated eyes and muttered back.

"Are you sure?"

Rainbowdash just licked her on the cheek. She was positive.

The two began to kiss slowly, tasting each other deeply, but it soon grew more passionate, their lips eager to devour the others, their tongues slipping past each other in a desperate need.

Dash's body felt hot on hers… felt alive and AJ just grinded into her… feeling her lower half becoming alive… becoming hot with pleasure.

"Applejack..." she heard Dash moan into her ear and she just giggled, kissing down her neck and all over her body, the blue fur tasting like lollipops but felt Dash moan harder as she grinded against her faster and faster.

It felt like heaven, it felt like something had finally been found… their hearts beating hard, their lips kissing frantically.

Dash felt her body explode with pleasure, going through her hoofs to her head, hugging Applejack so tight as she panted, feeling the other kissing her all over, not getting enough of Dash's tasty body but just stopped when she heard the Pegasus start to giggle and looked up at her with a nervous smile.

"What's so funny?" she asked with a giggle back.

"This… I never in a million years thought that we would be having sex together."

"Well we were." Applejack chuckled and Dash just grabbed her face, kissing her hard as she felt Applejack moan loudly, getting hit in just the right spot down below before becoming completely sedated from endorphins and laid there with a dazed goofy face.

"I thought this was meant to be beautiful?" Dash asked as she rolled off her and lay beside her love grinning, "But I think we just made a mockery of the word_ love making_"

"We can only get better," Applejack said panting tiredly and Dash just giggled, cuddling her and taking in her heat.

"You mean, I can only get better." She said with a wink and Applejack just laughed tiredly.

"Ever heard of modesty?" she replied with a grin. She just felt Dash kiss her down her neck and giggled feeling ticklish, "S-stop!" she laughed but felt Dash's kiss break away as there was a knock on the door and Applejack looked up saying confused.

"Who is it?"

"It's Big Mac."

"What ya want?" she asked with a cheeky yell and the two sat up as the door opened, her brother looking at them with pained eyes. Something didn't seem right.

"What's wrong?" she asked confused and he said quietly,

"Fluttershy's downstairs."

The two looked at each other confused and got out of bed, walking down the stairs warily seeing a meak pony full of tears at the front door. The two looked at her worried.

"Fluttershy, what's wrong?" Dash asked not understanding why she was crying.

Fluttershy took a gulp as she looked at them with watery eyes,

"Pinkie's in hospital."

Dash froze stiff when she heard that… what?

"Why?" Applejack asked quietly, this couldn't be right... it didn't make sense and Fluttershy just whispered.

"She tried to kill herself."

Nothing mattering once those words were said.

Nothing.


	11. Chapter 11

"We have to see her,"

That was the only thing that came out of Applejack's mouth. A determination to see what had happened, to understand what had happened.

Fluttershy just cried at the door, her hoof trying to hide her distraught face and Applejack headed outside but Dash only whispered.

"I can't…"

"We have too." Applejack said looking at her with strong eyes.

This couldn't be true… this had to be a dream… Dash felt like her body had gone into shock, she couldn't move… couldn't breathe… this wasn't r-real.

"I had to tell you two," Fluttershy whimpered, "In case she doesn't make it through the night, we have to all be there."

"What…?" Dash asked in barely heard words.

"She stabbed herself in her gut, she might b-bleed out!" Fluttershy cried, Applejack trying to comfort her but she only shrunk back from them, "You have to come."

"Okay…" Dash only whispered… how could this be happening?

The trip to the hospital didn't even seem like it happened, one minute they were there the next standing in the halls of the white wards, Dash not feeling like she was present, that she was just watching as things happened around her.

They saw Twilight and Rarity in the waiting room, Rarity crying, the Cakes across the room holding each other in pain.

Twilight seemed to have a dead face on her, one of hate… one of confusion… and one that just seemed to need a reason for this happening.

Until she saw AJ and Dash.

"She's in surgery," she said in a quiet voice, Dash finding it hard to breathe, to live in this time and space and only heard Rarity whimper,

"I never should've l-left her… I saw the signs and I just l-left."

"You didn't know," Twilight said, putting her hoof around Rarity to stop the tears, "We all thought she'd be alright."

"What could make her do this?" Fluttershy cried weakly, Dash feeling her heart stop beating with that question, "What could drive a pony to this."

"Fillyfooling…"

Everyone grew silent as Twilight said those words, Applejack just staring at her in disbelief.

"We all know that is what."

"That has nothin' to do with it!" AJ yelled at her, she couldn't believe she was actually hearing this. Twilight said nothing… but it was clear she was thinking it… Applejack couldn't believe she still had this prejudice after everything.

"She was confused…" Twi only muttered… trying to find a cause for this, to understand the reason with her analytic mind. Applejack couldn't stand that one simple excuse.

"That's not why."

Dash just stood there amongst the noise… the crying, the fighting, the accusing but all she felt inside her was the knowing.

Knowing she had led her to it… it was her fault… her f-fault.

If Pinkie didn't survive this… what would she do?

And then the waiting game began. The silence falling over as everyone just waited, the white lights dim, midnight passing, one o clock... two o clock.

A doctor finally came out, every pony looking at him and he said.

"She's in the recovery ward… we saved her."

"Oh thank heavens!" Mrs. Cake only cried, "We have to see her."

"Then you should come back tomorrow… she needs her rest." The doctor only said with soft tired words and left the group, the friends and family only looking at each other quietly before Applejack said weakly,

"We all need our rest."

Twilight looked at Applejack angrily… how could she be so cold about this issue… she had said nothing about Pinkie's hurt all night, seeming to blame the pony instead of what she and Dash had led her too. She just couldn't understand it.

Dash only looked down the hall after the doctor… wanting to see Pinkie, apologize, beg for forgiveness… it was eating her up… the guilt… the pain she had caused that had led to a near suicide. It was her fault.

"Come on Rainbow,"

She looked at Applejack quietly… and shook her head.

"I have to stay."

Applejack's eyes widened confused. If Dash stayed here, she knew she would only be torturing herself with the wait.

"Please come home with me," she asked weakly. Everyone's eyes were on the two and Dash only shook her head whispering,

"I can't."

"Okay," Applejack said and returned back to her seat, their friends only watching them and the Cakes got up weakly, leaving the scene but the elemental ponies all stayed.

Applejack put her hoof over Dash who only stared out at nothing, Fluttershy getting something to eat from the cafeteria and Rarity just weeping in silence.

Twilight only looked at Applejack… the first one wanting to leave, the only one that didn't seem half affected by what had happened and she just couldn't understand her coldness.

Time moved by slowly until dawn started to approach, light coming through the windows weakly at first but soon the day came and no pony was home in their bed… but waiting to see Pinkie… praying that she was alright.

"Rainbow…" Applejack said quietly to her marefriend, seeing the frozen face and only said to her in silence "It wasn't your fault."

All the friends looked at the two… their eyes realizing now the pony who was the most affected and Twilight knew that what Applejack had said was true.

It wasn't Dash's fault… it was AJ's.

She was the one that broke Dash and Pinkie up… led Pinkie to this act and all she could do was reassure Dash when she should be blaming herself, they all should be blaming themselves.

A nurse came over to them with a small smile,

"Would a couple of you like to visit her now?"

"Yes p-please," Rarity said in a shivering voice and got up, Fluttershy following her and the nurse shook her head as Twilight was about to pursue,

"Only a couple at a time. When they're done you can go in."

"Okay," she said quietly but felt awkward being left behind with the two who had created this situation… she knew if she talked to them it would only lead to anger.

"Are you okay to go in Rainbow?" Applejack asked Dash quietly looking into her eyes softly, "Because if you can't do it today… we can come back."

"I have to see her," Dash only whispered and Applejack just nodded her head, becoming quiet but Twilight asked.

"Are you going to see her, AJ?"

Applejack looked at her with a distant face "Not today."

"I think you should."

"I don't want to." Applejack pressed and Twilight hated how she was acting… what was wrong with her?

"Can I talk to you in private?" she said hard and Applejack only lowered her eyebrows, getting up and the two walked away to another hall, Dash still only looking into space.

"Why are you acting this way?" Twilight asked then and there, "Why don't you care about what you did?"

"What did I do?" Applejack asked back coldly.

"You and Dash made her do this.. _I _can't stand seeing you just thinking this is nothing!"

"I don't think it's NOTHING." Applejack said back angrily but kept her voice steady, "But I am not going to feel sorry for her. What Pinkie did was selfish."

"Selfish?" Twilight asked taken back by that statement, "How was it selfish? You two LEFT her in the _COLD!_"

"It was selfish!" Applejack only replied back in anger "She was only thinking about herself! She didn't care enough about others to see what she was doing."

"She was in pain!"

"SHE CHOSE TO KILL HERSELF!" Applejack only yelled back, but took a deep breath as Twilight only stared at her shocked. Applejack nearly had tears ready to come out but held them back… no, she would not cry over something so pitiful.

"My parents…" She simply said, "…are dead… and you don't think I know what it was like to be in her pain?" Twilight looked at her not understanding this hate and Applejack only said quietly

"I've been there… but I was never that selfish."

She left after that, leaving Twilight in the cold and went back to Dash… knowing that the ones in the true hurt were Pinkie's friends and family… how could she just do this?

Rarity and Fluttershy came back into the hall. Their eyes were in tears, they appearance just sadness and Dash knew she had to go in and apologize… she had to be forgiven… she could barely think of anything else.

She got up ready to head in but looked back at Applejack scared.

"Go on," the orange pony said with a soft voice and Dash took a deep breath heading in nervously.

The room was shrouded in shadows… there was a blood bag hanging over the bed, machines monitoring and she nearly froze when she saw Pinkie lying there… her face drained of life… her mane down straight.

"Pinkie…" Dash said in barely any words.

The pink pony didn't look at her… her blue eyes only gazing down to her hoofs… the cuts she had given herself and Dash only cried… afraid to get any closer,

"I'm so s-sorry…"

There was no reply.

"I…" Dash whispered, taking a brave step closer, but her heart was so afraid, "I didn't know it was this bad…"

Pinkie only closed her eyes… the room silent and Dash couldn't take it,

"P-please say something!"

The pink mare just looked at her… her eyes soulless as she said quietly.

"You hurt me so much… and you didn't even care."

"I didn't understand!" Dash said back in tears, "I didn't know you were like that!"

"But you should've."

Dash became silent, tears streaming weakly down her cheeks as she saw those dead eyes look at her.

"You put me through so much pain… so much and didn't even care. You didn't even talk to me… you did nothing and I only pray,"

Dash looked at her, her heart barely beating… listening.

"I only pray that you feel the pain I felt… and that it kills you… like you nearly killed me."

"P-pinkie…?" Dash only whispered in disbelief, Pinkie hated her… she hated her enough to want her dead, "I'm SORRY!"

"leave… _me…ALONE!" _Pinkie yelled and Dash stepped back in terror… she couldn't stay and see her like this… the hate in her eyes… the pain she had caused.

She left the room and stood out in the hall barely breathing.

Pinkie hated her… hated her more than life that she had tried to kill herself to get away from her.

She had led Pinkie to that knife.

She was the one that stabbed her.

I-it was her fault… it was all her fault… and everyone knew.

Applejack sat out in the hall… her head annoying her again with nausea… it kept coming on the past couple of days, but ignored it quickly when she saw Rainbowdash walk quietly down the hall and got up saying to her,

"Are you okay?"

"I did it…" Dash only whispered, looking quietly into Applejack's eyes, "I was the one that held that knife last night."

"DON'T SAY THAT." Applejack said sternly, "Never say that."

"I'm a monster…" Dash only cried in weak tears and Applejack only held her, saying in love.

"We're leaving…"

"I can't go."

"You're not staying here." She responded and Dash only cried as AJ led her out… but all she felt was eyes staring at her… judging her for what she did… everyone knew now… all her friends knew the monster she was.

Time went by slowly from that point… Applejack feeling sicker but not knowing if it was from the stress she was encapsulated in… Dash's self-loathing… or her friends vanishing from her life in the week that came… only hearing news from her brother when Pinkie had gotten out of the hospital.

It was all too much and it was all because of that pony's selfish act.

Applejack hated how she ended up back in that building a week from the day Pinkie had been omitted. Standing in the room as she waited for the doctor to return.

She couldn't stand Rainbowdash blaming herself for something that was not her fault… for her friends all in the pain Pinkie had caused and sighed, looking down to the ground before the doctor re-entered and said with a smile.

"It's good news."

"Good… I need some about now," Applejack only muttered… she just wished things were normal again, that life was good and the doctor smiled.

"Then get ready. You're pregnant!"

...What?

Applejack only looked at him slowly… no… not this… anything but this.

"Are you sure…?" she asked, begging he had gotten the wrong chart and he just looked at her confused.

"Oh I'm positive Miss Apple… who's the lucky stallion?"

Just hoping life would be normal again seemed like a distant memory now… as she stood there in that room… feeling like things would never be the same.

And how would she tell Rainbow…

* * *

><p><strong>Hey! Thanks for all the reviews, I didn't expect that many! And ImABearRRwar, you are really good at guessing plot points out, you predicted this two chapters ago. So anyway, I made myself update today and if you want to find out what happens next then review! Still more to come! Bye!<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

Everywhere she felt the judgement… felt the eyes stare at her, the whispers.

And she deserved them… she deserved it all.

The only one that still loved her; saw her as real and not a monster was her, her angel,

…Applejack,

And she couldn't know life without her, pulling her through.

Rainbow walked down the streets, but her heart nearly froze when she saw that pink pony walk her way.

The pink mane straight and dead… bandages around her stomach, her eyes empty and Dash only said,

"I'm sorry…"

The pink pony only walked past her, all the horses around watching the scene and Dash just felt tears fall from her eyes…

Everyone knew.

She took off from the ground and flew away from the town, no matter how much she tried she knew how everyone saw her, knew the monster she was and there was nothing that could be done about it.

She was a hated horse, she knew she was.

And all she had now was Applejack.

XXXX

Applejack came home, her body tense with fear; her head hurting her and only wanted to run away from this situation she had gotten herself in.

She never thought that sleeping with Buckweed would come back to haunt her as she now held his foal in her womb, her whole world being put on pause as she tried to realize what to do.

"What did the doctor say?"

She paused, looking behind her to see Big Mac was there in the room with her and knew she had to tell someone… anyone to release this burden.

"He said I'm pregnant."

Big Mac's face literally became empty with the surprise, as he took a small step forward.

"You are?"

Applejack only nodded her head, holding back her own disbelief and Big Mac only asked,

"Is it Buckweed's…?"

"Yes…"

He didn't know what to do now… besides the obvious question,

"Are ya gonna tell him?"

"No." Applejack said in one short word, "He can never know."

"But what will ponies say?" he asked confused, wanting to know what to do and she just crossed her eyebrows replying.

"It don't matter what ponies say, it only matters how this affects Rainbow."

Big Mac looked at her shocked. So it didn't matter if Buckweed wasn't told as long as that Pegasus knew.

"How can you not tell Buckweed?"

"Because I don't want him in my life." Applejack said coldly… she knew what she was saying was harsh, but if Buckweed ever discovered this it would only complicate things… and the only pony that needed to know was Rainbow Dash. She was the only one that mattered.

She looked at her brother with a serious stressed face, heading away to the kitchen to eat something, her stomach starving and Big Mac just stood there, not understanding.

If he ever got a mare pregnant he would have to know… not telling Buckweed would be the cruellest thing… the young colt was leaving back to his farm tomorrow… how could she keep this news from him?

He only stared at his sister and shook his head, going away outside, leaving Applejack to her own worries… for she had far more than him now.

_What will I tell Rainbow? _She thought as she ate her apple, _she's gone through so much… but if this gets out before she knows… it'll kill her_.

She stopped chewing realizing then and there… the doctor knew, some nurses knew, her brother knew. She had to get to Dash before the news spread like wild fire.

She swallowed down her food and got up, heading outside the house and going into town.

She saw Fluttershy walking down the street and stopped her with the simple question,

"Where's Rainbow…"

Fluttershy went quiet… she hadn't talked to AJ in a week, and just looked at her nervously.

"How are you?" she only asked in a meek voice.

"Please Fluttershy," Applejack asked in a beg, "Do you know?"

Fluttershy took a scared breath, "I saw her fly away from town half an hour ago. She was heading in the direction of her house… she was crying."

That nearly pierced AJ, the last sentence, and she just gave Fluttershy a weak pat on the back.

"Thanks."

Leaving her after that and running in the direction of Rainbow's cloud house.

She had never been inside that house, it being made of clouds and none accessible to earth ponies. But that never bothered her, it had only ever mattered that Rainbow could stay at hers.

She reached it soon, looking up scared as she called,

"Rainbow!"

There was no reply and she took a breath as she yelled louder,

"Rainbow, please come out!"

She watched quietly as Dash flew weakly out of the clouds and landed down beside her… pain the only thing in her eyes.

"Why are you doing this to ya self?" Applejack asked her barely.

"Because I deserve to suffer." She only said in near tears and AJ just hugged her… oh god, how was she going to say it? She looked at her nervously,

"We need to be in private." She whispered, and Rainbowdash looked at her confused.

"Why? What's wrong..?"

Applejack bit her lip, but saw the woods only a few minutes away and nodded her that direction, Rainbow dash only following her with her head to the ground.

They reached it shortly afterwards and Applejack looked around nervously.

She sighed… looking into Dash's pink eyes and only said.

"I'm pregnant."

Everything seemed to grow silent… the wind stopped blowing, the trees stopped swaying, birds stopped tweeting and Rainbowdash's heart stopped beating.

Applejack had betrayed her.

"Who. Is. He."

Was all she asked. Her voice in dead anger.

The horse she loved had betrayed her.

"It happened before we were together!" Applejack said quickly scared, she had never seen such rage and Rainbowdash just said,

"What's His Name."

"I won't tell you unless you listen!" Applejack only said, Rainbowdash's stillness was frightening her.

The Pegasus took a deep breath in… regaining air in her lungs and Applejack only spilled it out,

"I slept with him the day I told you I loved you. I slept with him to convince myself that I didn't love you but it only convinced me that I COULDN'T be with anyone but _you!" _She only saw tears swell up in Dash's eyes and said in a cry of her own "It was a MISTAKE! But if I had never slept with him I wouldn't have realized how much I love you. PLEASE!"

Dash felt like her heart was struggling to beat… Applejack had been with someone else… she was carrying some colt's foal, she could never carry hers and all she asked was,

"Does he know?"

"No, and he will never find out… tell me how you feel?" she begged… Dash's face was one of pure misery, pure disbelief but Applejack needed to know something more than that and all Dash replied back with was tears… whispering.

"AJ…" looking at that beautiful orange mare, the one that was still with her after all she had done, "I love you, I don't care what you did." Looking into those amazing green eyes as she said,

"AJ, I can't live without you."

Applejack only felt her own eyes fill with tears as she hugged Dash tight, the two holding each other in one another's hoofs as they weeped but Dash only said, looking into AJ's eyes,

"We can run away… no one will know."

Applejack stopped her tears in hearing that, looking at Dash confused and said slowly,

"What?"

"This isn't my home Applejack… I'm not wanted here anymore." Dash just said with a cry, "I'm a monster here… everyone hates me, and there's nothing I can do to fix this."

"Rainbow," Applejack said shaking her head and let go of her. She said with a smile "I hav' to show you something… come with me."

Rainbow Dash looked at her a little afraid as the two left the woods… going somewhere she didn't know, but knowing she couldn't go back to that town.

XXXX

The awkwardness he had put himself in since that terrible dump had made Buckweed think he must be some brave horse.

Who would have known Applejack was a fillyfooler… she did not seem like one at all.

He had kept out of her way mostly, avoiding her in the house and just working out in the fields but in time he knew he couldn't remain in this mixed up situation, especially when he heard of what happened to her friend, that pink pony… and it was because Applejack had fallen for her rainbow coloured girlfriend.

He had never been around so much drama… but being around depression, plus his awkward feelings for a mare that would never be returned, was too much to take and he had to escape back home to his plantation.

He was sweating when he arrived back into the Apple house, the hard work had killed him but he knew he couldn't leave the family without showing that he could make a last great harvest and went to the kitchen, getting a drink but paused when he saw Big Mac at the table… the older horse seeming in stress.

"You okay Big Mac?" he asked with a friendly smile, "Everything goin' alright…?"

Big Mac shook his head and Buckweed felt awkward, knowing his absence from tomorrow onwards would really affect the family.

"I'm sorry I hav' to leave tomorrow," he admitted… "But I just feel like if I stayed things will only get worse."

Big Mac looked at the kind colt with sad eyes. How could Applejack want to keep this from him? It was wrong. It was wrong to not tell this horse. It was his child, his foal she was carrying and he just said in a scared voice… but knowing he could not keep this secret.

"Buckweed," he said quietly, the young colt looking at him with a confused face, "I hav' somethin' to tell ya."

XXXX

"Look."

Rainbowdash didn't want to open her eyes but did, and looked across over the cliff to the land below feeling tears rise to her eyes. She looked quietly to Applejack and only asked,

"Why are you showing me this."

"Because all you've been looking at is Pinkie," AJ said with a soft smile, "You haven't bothered to look at the whole picture."

"All I see is a town that hates me…" Dash said quietly in tears, "A place that wishes I had been the one to try and kill herself, not her."

"Look at everythin'!" Applejack just said, grabbing Rainbow's head and pointing down to the beauty of the Ponyville,

Their home,

"This won't last forever. This pain won't always be. Everythin' will be alright."

"How do you know?" Dash only cried, turning away from the town and back to Applejack, "How do you know?"

"Because I just do," Applejack said with a smile, and sighed continuing, "Before I told you about my pregnancy… I was terrified that you may just leave me… but you didn't." she kissed her on her cheek, wrapping her hoofs around her as she whispered, "And you know why? Because the past doesn't matter… only the future."

"AJ… I can't stay here," Dash just said with tears coming down her face and Applejack just shook her head.

"Well you can go, but I'm stayin'."

"Applejack?"

The two froze as they looked behind them seeing Buckweed standing there with a face of disbelief on him.

"Buckweed," Applejack said in surprise… what the hell was he doing here, "I thought you were preparing to go home?"

"You're carrying my foal?" he asked with barely a voice… only confused and angry, "and you were never going to tell me?"

Applejack only froze… he knew. She looked at him in silence.

"Please… don't do this," she said weakly, "Not right now…"

"Can I please talked to you?" he asked and she hated how nothing could be kept secret in this town.

She sighed, nodding barely and he looked to Dash saying quietly,

"Can she leave?"

Rainbow Dash only looked at him in disbelief… how had he found out, she had only been told a few hours ago and already her future was being taken out of her control yet again. She looked at AJ who only nodded to her and took a breath, taken flight.

She flew away to a cliff further off and only looked at the two, worry and caution coming over her.

Buckweed stared at Applejack still with a face that had been betrayed and asked,

"So you were never goin' ta tell me?"

"I just didn't think it was the time." She said weakly,

"And would it hav been time once the foal had been born?" he asked with anger that was so pure it made her step back afraid, the edge of the cliff just under her legs.

"Applejack, what were you thinkin'?" he asked, he had never felt such betrayal, such rage "That two mares could raise it?"

"Yes," she said back in anger, "Why couldn't we!"

"It's not right! I'M THE FATHER!" he yelled and Applejack stepped back again, feeling rocks break off the edge of cliff and she looked at him scared.

"Please don't lose your temper!" she said fast and he only stared at her furious, grabbing her in a shake,

"WHY ARE YOU DOING _THIS_!"

But it was too late, as when he shook her she had slipped frightened,

And fell off the cliff.

She dropped faster than a bullet, Buckweed yelling in horror,

"APPLEJACK!"

Rainbowdash heard her love's name the second it was yelled and everything became slow as she saw Applejack fall through the sky, about to smash into the ground and she took off, speeding so fast as her heart beat in terror, Applejack a second from the ground before she sonic boomed so hard that she caught her with so much impact,

A snap was heard.

The two toppled over on the ground as Rainbowdash caught her breath in worry, shaking Applejack quickly to wake her up,

"AJ you alright?"

Applejack only lied there… not making a sound, her eyes closed and Dash shook her harder.

Something was wrong.

"Applejack get up! Don't mess AROUND!"

No response. The pony just lied there.

"APPLEJACK!" she yelled.

No! This couldn't be happening! Her eyes began to water, none of this made sense as she screamed to Buckweed,

"_GET __**HELP!**__"_

He left and Dash shook Applejack again harder and harder, tears coming to her eyes in desperation.

Why wasn't she waking up? Why wasn't she responding!

"Please WAKE UP!" Dash yelled at her, shaking her in tears, "DON'T LEAVE_ M-ME!_"

This was not their future! This was not real!

She cried as she held her close to her… her tears falling on the orange pony's fur… as she cried in loss…

Her world being taken from her… her angel,

...Applejack

Not this…

…not t-this.

* * *

><p><strong>Here's the next chapter. I'll update again in a few days, hope you enjoyed… or didn't… review if you can, I guess that's it.<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

The running of the trolley down the flashing halls, Rainbowdash only following in tears as nurses and doctors pushed Applejack into the emergency room.

All she could do was stand there, watch as her future was being taken away… her love, her purpose for staying alive through all the misery.

"Please wait out here!" a nurse told her holding her back and Dash just tried to rush past her, desperate to be by Applejack's side but she was only held back.

"P-PLEASE SAVE HER!" she begged the ponies, "DON'T LET HER _DIE!_"

But all she knew… the thing that made it worse than life itself…

Was that she was the one that had caused the snap…

When she caught Applejack that's all she heard.

She had _destroyed_ the only thing that was keeping her ALIVE!

Her love… her heart.

None of it mattered now.

The future. Gone. Her friends. Gone.

Applejack…

Gone.

Hours flew by like minutes as all her former friends… Applejack's family, showed up at the hospital.

The screams, the anger.

But none of it mattered. Only the pony that was lying in the ward, machines attached to her, her body on life support and all the ponies stood there when the news was told in weak words.

Dash shutting her eyes in agony.

"The blood has been cut off from her brain…"

"she miscarried… I'm sorry."

All the ponies looking at the doctor as she said in her lifeless voice, hitting Buckweed what he had done and he just left in tears not staying to hear the last bit-

"She's brain dead."

Leaving this place and never coming back.

Dash felt herself walk backwards… backwards through time as she watched things rewind,

The fall… the pregnancy… the suicide attempt… _I love you!_… sleeping with a pony she didn't love… the fights and at last the rain fell around her as she stood out in that storm, Applejack ushering her inside her home where everything began that would lead up to this event.

"S-she can't be…" she said with a shaky voice, "SHE CAN'T BE!"

"APPLEJACK!" she yelled as she tried to get past the ponies to the one that lay on the bed lifeless, "TELL THEM YOU'RE ALIVE! STOP _PRETENDING!"_

Big Mac held her back, Dash trying to rip away from him, her tears running down her face… her life over!

When he let go of her she only fell on Applejack's bed that night… crying as she held the blankets close to her, crying there until all her tears were gone and just screamed, screamed her heart out to the very last.

Days went by… but it didn't go away.

The pain was too much, the agonizing ripping of her chest.

She couldn't breathe, couldn't stand. She couldn't see her lay there in that hospital bed, tubes connected to her… making her breathe… keeping alive a dead body.

This wasn't their destiny… wasn't meant to be.

The future didn't exist anymore,

Nothing did...

XXXX

Twilight stood by Applejack's bed, looking at her… and how the last thing they had talked about was how Applejack was cold to Pinkie.

Seeing that body lie there… no chance for recovery she finally understood what Applejack meant.

And why Pinkie had been selfish.

But there must be a way, there had to be a way to solve this.

She owed her that much… she had to at least try.

She left that room and walked through those empty halls, her life only having one purpose now, to save Applejack's.

She walked down the streets but stopped dead when she saw that pony coming toward her, her mane straight and Twilight just growled.

"Pinkie."

"Hey…" the pink pony replied quietly, afraid to look her in the eye… knowing the whole situation with AJ and how the focus had been put on someone else for a change.

"Don't just say hey." Twilight said quietly, "Do you know what happened?"

"Of course I do…" she said, her eyes growing watery, "But what can I do about it?"

"Huh," Twilight scoffed, and just looked Pinkie dead in the eye,

"You had everyone wrapped up in pain from your suicide attempt… but it didn't matter to you?"

"Why are you talking like this?" Pinkie cried.

"Because YOU had a life but you chose to kill _yourself!" _Twilight said in so much rage the pink pony looked at her only in tears, "But Applejack… she didn't have a choice."

"Don't you think I KNOW THAT!" Pinkie yelled, her eyes red and wet from crying.

"So why haven't I seen you by her side…?"

Pinkie became silent, only crying weak tears and Twilight just stared at her, but she didn't care how much Pinkie was in pain. Cos' Pinkie had never cared about them.

"See ya," she said with a mutter and walked past her, Pinkie watching her go with no words… knowing now the agony she had caused her friends.

And it was her own doing… that brought upon everything.

She had to see that pony… the one that couldn't talk… couldn't breathe… couldn't live.

And say her goodbye… make amends with the only one that could forgive her.

XXXX

Twilight went through all her books desperately. She read every word, looking through everything for the cure. The miracle that would fix everything but no, it couldn't be found.

She searched and searched, days going by, not eating… not drinking. There had to be fix.

"COME ON!" she yelled, frustrated as she slammed the fiftieth book to the ground… where was it! The answer that would fix this!

She looked to her book shelf and took a breath… she pulled out the book about dark magic. Magic that wasn't meant to be done, that always required a sacrifice… that was forbidden, but what choice did she have.

She opened it up on her book stand and turned the pages till she found one about life.

And the miracle was saw.

She looked at it… this was it.

Life restored to a nearly soulless body… bringing back blood in the veins, air to the lungs.

Restoring what once was.

But then she saw the sacrifice.

_Magic_

And that it only had a one in two chance.

XXXX

Pinkie stood there before the sleeping body… one of no consciousness and just looked at her, a scared expression on her own face as she whispered.

"Applejack…"

There was no response. Pinkie took a shaky breath and tried to talk but her words just stuttered out.

"It was never m-meant to be you… It was not your time…" she cried in lost tears "I don't know why the heavens did this… b-but if I could, I'd swap our places…" she whispered "because you didn't deserve t-this."

"Applejack." She whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"You n-never stole Rainbowdash from me…" smiling as she looked at that sleeping pony

"She was always yours…"

She held her hoof quietly, feeling Applejack's warmth that was the only indication of life… she knew in a few days the plug would be pulled… that this pony would only be a memory.

A happy memory… because she was so much.

"Good bye…" she whispered, letting go of her and walking outside but when she closed Applejack's door she froze, seeing Dash coming down the hall.

All life gone from that blue Pegasus.

"Dash," she said quietly "I'm so sorry-"

"I u-understand…"

She paused, looking into the lifeless eyes and asked weakly,

"What…?"

"I understand why you did it…" Rainbowdash only said in a voice that wasn't even there "Your w-wish came true… I know your pain."

"Dashie, I'm so sorry," she said in a whimper, trying to console her but Rainbowdash only pushed by her, going into Applejack's room and stood there looking at the brain dead pony.

Pinkie stopped the door before it shut completely and just listened.

"Applejack…" she heard Rainbow say.

The Pegasus stood there, looking over at the pony she loved.

"I never meant for this to happen… but it'll be okay."

Pinkie froze when she heard the next few words, a weak voice… one so hollow, one so empty…

"We'll be together soon."

She ran away quickly, hiding behind the wall as Dash came out, walking slowly out of the hospital. But Pinkie couldn't hide from this… she couldn't let this happen. What was she doing? She ran out to her shouting,

"Rainbow-!"

But the Pegasus wasn't there. No… she had to find her.

She ran out of the hospital, yelling to the sky "RAINBOW!"

But Dash was nowhere… SHE HAD TO FIND HER.

Twilight saw the pink pony run away and she only watched her go, walking with fear into that building of death and down the hollow hall, opening Applejack's door and shut her eyes.

Every time she saw that body… her heart literally broke.

But she had to do this.

She stood beside the bed and whispered into the lifeless ear,

"Please come back… please."

As she started to recite the spell quietly,

_A choice for the one on the brink of life_

_A choice that they behold_

_To come back now from all their strife_

_Or to simply to let go_

_And upon this choice a sacrifice_

_Magic of the unicorn_

She closed her eyes, as her horn started to glow… glowing brighter and brighter till the whole room was filled with light, till the hall filled with light, till the hospital shone light through all its windows in a blast.

XXXX

Rainbowdash had always loved excitement… loved to compete.

She loved the thrill of life… the speed, the rush.

How time always seemed to fly by and she flew with it.

How life had always giving her love and friends.

How she had been happy.

But as she flew higher and higher up in the sky, so high she nearly reached the heavens she just kept seeing what life had taken.

The pony it had taken.

A lover. A partner… a friend.

Her best friend.

Her heart.

A companion, a listener,

A soul mate…

Her soul mate.

But now she chose what was to be taken… what she had power over deciding.

Her life.

And how worthless it was now without that face smiling at her,

Laughing with her.

Kissing her…

And saying those words,

"I love you."

Rainbowdash reached her final destination, hovering there as she looked down to the distant ground… and how she was going to be meeting it with a bang.

All she had to do was stop flying and fall.

And when she hit the ground all her pain would be gone… and she could be with her.

In bliss.

She closed her wings and fell.

Wind gushed by her, clouds passing by like lightning and all she heard was that voice,

_Before I told you about my pregnancy… I was terrified that you may just leave me… but you didn't And you know why? Because the past doesn't matter… only the future._

Hearing her laughter,

_We can only get better_

Hearing her confession

_BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!_

The ground getting closer and she only felt tears fly from her eyes as she heard her own voice say,

_AJ… I can't live without you_

And the yell suddenly reached her ears as a voice screamed,

"RAAAAINBOW!"

A voice so familiar and she felt her wings stretch out.

No she couldn't stop this, there was no point.

"_PLEASE DON'T DIE!_"

She opened both her wings… she was so close but when she heard that terrified voice she only saw herself,

Crying when she saw Pinkie in the hospital and landed on her hoofs softly,

Before falling over in tears.

"W-why?"

Pinkie looked at Dash angrily, tears of fury pouring down her face as she yelled, "WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO DO THIS!"

Rainbowdash only weeped, her heart beating radically as the exhilaration of the fall finally caught up and all the Pegasus asked, begged,

"Why did you call my n-name?"

"Dashie..." she said heartbroken "...why?"

"I was nearly with h-her" Rainbow only cried in a stutter, and looked at Pinkie in pain "So why did you call my name?"

"Because I couldn't let you do this… when I never told you where it would take you." Pinkie said in tears, and looked at Rainbow dash straight in the eyes,

The Pegasus only looked at her in sorrow… agony.

"When I was lying there bleeding…" Pinkie whispered to her, that night in her eyes "All I saw when the life left me was,"

Dash looked at her in silence… listening.

"What…"

"Nothing…" Pinkie said quietly, and looked at her with hurt "I saw… nothing… just darkness and you know what I felt?"

The Pegasus just watched her in tears.

"Pain…" she whispered "it didn't go away… it just intensified."

Pinkie tried to hold back the tears as she finally told of her experience, "And then I woke up."

"But I won't be waking up."

"It won't take you to her…" Pinkie only whispered, looking at Rainbowdash silently "And you will lose everything you loved about her… her memory, her laugh… because all you'll have... is nothing."

Rainbowdash only looked at her, her face in pain, soaked from tears. That couldn't be it… that couldn't be the end of it.

And she cried.

"I don't w-won't her to die…" she wailed, her tears only soaking into the ground, "I DON'T WANT HER TO DIE."

"I know you d-don't," Pinkie said quietly, sitting down beside Dash as she held the weeping pony, "But if the heavens choose to take her… it would be because, she was beautiful."

Dash cried in Pinkie's hoofs, knowing there was nowhere to go now… death not an option… but life an even worse one.

She just cried and cried until all her tears ran out and her body grew numb… until she had to breathe again…

And all she did was sit there in Pinkie's hoofs, her body feeling nothing, her soul dead from trying… until the pink pony whispered.

Knowing there was still one thing that had to be done,

Until it was too late.

"You have to say goodbye."

Rainbowdash became silent. She looked up at Pinkie with a gulp and saw those loving eyes. She said with a weak voice.

Reality coming back into existence.

"I k-know…"

* * *

><p><strong>Well I hope you could get through this chapter, I know it wasn't a light read but I also hope it wasn't too unbearable. Review if you can, this story is nearly over.<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Well here it is, the final chapter. I hope you like it.**** I tried my best. Thanks for reading and all the reviews, it really means a lot. Bye. Feeling Grand.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Rainbowdash felt nothing in her body. All the tears were gone, all the pain subdued as she faced the final chapter of her life with Applejack.<p>

She had imagined one night that when their time to depart would come; they would be old and ready to leave this world.

It was just a thought she had had that night when she laid with her in that grassy field… a crazy thought.

When she saw that horse beneath her under that cliff with closed eyes… barely a breath, reality hit her in how precious the now was… because it would soon only be the past, a memory.

The past was not always a happy place, but it would only keep growing with every second.

Whereas the future was crueller.

One couldn't predict the future… it was in the hands of no one… yet everyone.

And everyone had paid a part in the future she was now living in.

Soon this present moment of numbness would fade and she would have to feel again. Soon her eyes would grow strong and she could cry again.

Soon Applejack would be gone.

But she was still there, waiting for Rainbow Dash to say good bye to her.

Life was not always fair… but one thing was certain. It didn't favour anyone over someone else. It was all just a random pick, a quick snip of a thread and a life was gone.

She stood there in front of the hospital doors… the sun shining brightly down, the grass green, birds tweeting.

She was scared.

She was scared to go inside, because she knew once she did it was going to be the past… and that Applejack's plug was going to be pulled.

Pinkie stood beside her, the pony that had comforted her hours ago as she lay on that grass crying… the pony she had thought had hated her… but now there was no ill feelings between them.

There was no point as life was so short.

"Are you okay?"

She looked to Pinkie weakly and shook her head,

"N-no…"

"You don't have to do this today…"

"I do…" she said. For one thing about now was that it was unpredictable… and Applejack may just not be breathing if she waited any longer.

She pushed weakly open the doors and looked through the halls, ponies talking, some laughing, some crying but when they saw her they all stop… and just looked at her.

Dash took a nervous step in, looking at the quiet horses as they watched her walk silently through the halls… she didn't know why they all stopped talking… and didn't know why some started to smile at her.

Was this some sort of cruel joke… everyone knew who she was and why she was here.

But yet, they smiled.

They gave her warm looks of love, of kindness.

Dash realized that Pinkie wasn't by her side anymore and she became more nervous… scared. This whole moment didn't make sense.

Death was never beautiful… death was only one thing,

The end.

Her hoofs walked on the ground with weak steps… ponies surrounding both of her sides… all with smiles and then she saw Twilight walk past her, tired, worn and the two didn't say a word, their eyes the only things meeting as they past each other, .

Everythng seeming unreal.

She reached the door of her destination and stood at it, taking a deep breath… but it hurt her to say that goodbye.

Those words were used so often to not mean anything… but now, they meant the world.

She pushed opened the door softly and heard a weak voice say,

"…h-hey..."

She looked up slowly to see who it was, expecting it was only her imagination but instead saw a pony looking at her… her lips smiling weakly.

Dash just stared at her slowly… looking at those green eyes she hadn't seen in days.

The horse was still lying in a bed… weak… feeble… a body worn out that had expected itself to be buried two feet in the ground by now but was breathing air, beating blood… looking in sight at the blue Pegasus that stood at the door, just staring at it in disbelief.

Rainbowdash turned her eyes quickly to the ground… an angel was in her presence… a fallen angel that hadn't made it up to heaven yet but froze when she heard the pony say,

"Rainbow…"

How was this real…

Was this all a dream? A pretend memory coming to life.

And she only whispered back in response.

"I thought I lost you…"

The sun shining in and making the room as bright as day.

XXXX

She woke up… she had just had a terrible dream, a dream that made her cry as she lay there in that bed… her heart beating in fear that it could've been real and only felt hoofs hug her as a orange pony held her tight.

It had been so long since that day but it was still clear in her mind.

"What's wrong…?" Applejack asked tiredly, but whenever Rainbowdash stirred it woke her and Dash just looked at her in tears.

She tried to wipe them away… everything was okay … Applejack was still with her but she had to tell her… she had to tell her whenever she had that dream.

"I dreamt you were in that hospital bed again…" she whispered "and t-they pulled your plug."

Applejack sighed, hugging the weak Pegasus beside her as they lay there in her bed… a night so dark outside with rain pitta patting on the ground.

"But it wasn't real." She said trying to reassure her, "It was only a dream…"

"But it was real to m-me…" Rainbow only whispered, feeling the warmth of Applejack's fur, the beauty of her love and the memories of when Applejack had lay there dying,

"And I keep dreaming it… and it keeps scaring me."

"But you shouldn't be scared… it's the past, it's gone. Just keep looking into the future." Applejack replied kissing her on the cheek and Rainbow Dash only sat up in the dark… a storm brewing outside and she shook her head in fear,

"That's what worries me more…" she said scared, "I can't see the future." She looked at her love on the bed, "And I can't know if tomorrow you'll be still here."

Applejack only looked at her in worry now… she did not like hearing those melancholy thoughts… they were such sadness… Rainbow Dash had such fear in her heart since that day so long ago that even though they were together alive in this moment, the Pegasus would always wait for that moment to come when she would die… and leave Dash like she had nearly done.

She had to tell her.

"I never told you why,"

The Pegasus only grew quiet as she looked down at Applejack with scared eyes.

Applejack sat up beside her, hugging her against her as she began… began from what she remembered.

"I was with them in this white place…" she said in soft words "the sun shone so bright it was hard to see but I knew who they were."

Rainbow Dash only had a tear slip down her cheek as she was held in AJ's hoofs.

"They said I could stay with them… that it was my time."

Applejack didn't want to say this… a memory that was so foggy now after the months that had gone by but continued weakly.

"But I looked around… I looked around and saw so many faces in the light…"

Dash seemed to stiffen as she listened to her speak in such soft words… something Pinkie had never mentioned.

"I saw my parents…" Applejack continued weakly, stroking the rainbow mane softly "I-I saw… my foal…" she said and finally looked into those pink eyes, making sure she was in her sight.

"And I saw…" she smiled, "I saw you…"

Dash looked at her quietly, listening… the only sound was the rain outside.

"And I knew I couldn't leave you… so I came back."

"What…?" she whispered,

"Rainbow…" Applejack said looking her quietly in the eyes, her face in happiness, "The only pony that will be ever leaving is you… because," she smiled with watery eyes, "Because I can't die without you."

The two sat there in each other's hoofs… just looking into the other's eyes and Rainbow Dash finally said,

Her voice scared.

"How do you know..?"

She only felt AJ's lips touch hers… the two kissing in the dark, rain pouring outside and finally Applejack pulled away with a smile.

"I just do."

"Can I ask you one thing," Dash said a little afraid, and Applejack looked at her in love, "Was this planned… did this all just happen by accident? I don't understand." She whispered looking at AJ completely out of her depth "I haven't understood since that storm… how I fell in love with you."

Lightning lit up the sky outside as it thundered down and the two just looked at each other in silence.

A night like this so many months ago… a night where they shared a bed in fear and Applejack only smiled as she said,

"You know Rainbow... I've been thinkin' about what you said."

Dash looked at her confused,

"When you said we were more than sisters… I think I know what we are."

Dash smiled at her… realising now what she was talking about and replied,

"I think I know what we are too…"

"I can't wait to get to know you," Applejack said with a grin and Dash only smiled larger.

"Dido…"

Applejack reached Dash's head toward her and they kissed… laying back on the bed, the blankets wrapping around them and Rainbowdash only whispered, as she was held in Aj's hoofs.

"...promise you'll never leave me?"

Applejack looked at her with soft eyes… staring into Dash's and said with a voice that was beauty to Rainbow's ears.

"Only if you do..."

The two falling asleep in one another's hoofs, the rain falling outside… the pain that once was long ago.

The past was gone, the future yet to come but this moment,

It would last forever...

The End.


	15. Part II

**A Taste of An Apple**

**Part II  
><strong>

The world was safe,

The world was beautiful,

The world was warm,

The world was wonderful.

Rainbowdash opened up her eyes weakly and looked slowly across the bed to the sleeping pony beside her.

She smiled softly, hugging her tight and Applejack just opened her eyes sleepily when she felt the warmth, looking at Rainbowdash slowly.

"Good mornin'" she said with a smile of her own.

"How was your sleep?" Dash asked quietly and AJ just yawned, stretching in the Pegasus's hoofs,

"Oh it was grand."

"You know I dreamt about you last night," Dash said with a grin,

"Not surprising," Applejack replied knowing that was usually Dash's dream.

"I dreamt you were able to run again…"

Applejack became slightly quiet when she heard that… why would Rainbowdash say something like that..? It kind of hurt her.

"Oh…" she replied quietly. Dash saw quickly her partner's eyes dim and said fast,

"I didn't mean it that way,"

"I know…" Applejack said, moving a bit in her hoofs and Dash had to tell her properly what she meant.

"I mean, I think you'll be able to run again one day,"

"You know that's not possible…" Applejack said slowly, sitting up in the bed and Dash only pulled a worried look. Applejack had so little belief that she would ever be strong again, it made her annoyed that she didn't believe her when she told her she could.

"I'm gonna go make some breakfast…" Applejack said back to her, breaking Dash's chain of thought and the Pegasus nodded, watching her leave with slightly unsteady legs and sighed.

Ever since that day when AJ woke from that brain dead stage, her body never seemed to work properly.

It was always very stiff, she wasn't a fast runner anymore and Dash had had to take on her role in the family work.

She was happy with her life, but sometimes she saw Applejack's face when the country pony thought she wasn't looking, and saw slight sadness in her green eyes… it nearly broke her heart.

Applejack reached forward to the apples on the shelf, her hoof shaking a little bit but she got one and brought it down, chewing on it softly with a sigh.

Why did Rainbow have to say she'd be running again… it wasn't fair. She knew her marefriend didn't mean anything by it and was trying to encourage her but she found it hard even doing the smallest of tasks.

Applebloom came down the stairs with a smile and skipped towards her sister.

"Hey, big sis, what's up?"

"Oh nuthin'" Applejack said with a weak smile.

"Nuthin'? If ya say so," Applebloom said with a beam and jumped on the kitchen chair, getting two apples and swallowing them down.

"Hungry?" Applejack asked with a grin.

"Of course, I'm starved, I think lately I've been eating more apples than I've been bucking."

"Well, you are a growin' filly." Applejack said smiling and Applebloom went off with that, her little sister always on the go and it made her happy that she was still alive to see her grow… but sometimes she hated the price it had taken.

There was a knock on the door and she looked over to it confused, walking over to it weakly and opening it but squinted slightly from the pain.

Fluttershy was at the door… the Pegasus often coming over these days to give her company when everyone was at work and she smiled at her friend in greeting.

"Good mornin' Fluttershy,"

"Hey…" she said quietly and looked up at Applejack slowly. The orange pony could sense something was the matter with the way the yellow pony looked and asked,

"Is anythin' the matter?"

"It's Pinkie's birthday today… I'm having her over to my cottage… would you l-like to come?"

Applejack looked at her quietly. She had never even realised that a whole year had gone by and smiled to Fluttershy awkwardly.

"I don't know… I've barely heard anything about her in months…"

"She's doing good…" Fluttershy said nervously, "She's h-happy."

Something in her voice didn't quite convince Applejack.

She really didn't know what to say… she knew Pinkie and her had been on good terms, but over the last four months since she was recovered, she had lost a lot of contact with them, only Fluttershy seeing her sometimes.

"Can I think about it?" she said quietly, "I'm just not sure."

"Of course," Fluttershy said with a shy smile, "She's coming over at six."

"Okay,"

"See you soon," Fluttershy peeped out with a smile and AJ nodded, the meak Pegasus taking flight and she watched her go, her heart dampening.

She walked slowly back into the kitchen and felt hoofs wrap around her in greeting as a voice said warmly,

"Hey."

She smiled weakly, as Dash kissed her and said with a grin.

"You look upset? What's up?"

"That was Fluttershy just at the door,"

"What did she want?"

Applejack looked at her slowly… she really didn't feel like bringing it up but said with a sigh,

"Today's Pinkie's birthday,"

"Oh," Dash said and pulled a smile out of all things "Great, I haven't seen her in a while."

"She's having a small party for her."

"Great… do you wanna go?"

Applejack looked at Dash slowly… this seemed to not nearly affect her as much as herself and said uncertain.

"Sure… I just thought it might be awkward…"

Dash looked at her confused… Pinkie may have done some bad things in the past, but she had a strong bond with her ever since that day when she laid crying in her hoofs… something she had never told Applejack about.

"Oh… I guess it might,"

She saw AJ's strained face and got slightly worried, "If you don't want to go, we don't have to."

"I know…" Applejack said and sighed, "I do wanna go… I just don't know what to say to her,"

"We don't have to stay long," Dash said with a little encouragement and AJ just smiled.

"I know… okay." She said with a braveness and Dash hugged her, kissing her on the cheek before going off to get breakfast and all Applejack did was sigh.

She felt so useless at the moment… everyone was moving forward with their lives but all she did was hold herself back… she missed her friends. The last thing she said to Twilight was thanking her for what she did…four months ago... but now she questioned if living was all that great.

She was just staying in her house, day in day out… with only her family and Dash to give her comfort, she was even more disabled than Grandma Smith.

But she was going to take a step forward today… she was going to see all her friends again after so much time.

She looked at Dash as she ate some hay and smiled… maybe this melancholy would fade that had come upon her the last couple of weeks, maybe she only had to try reach out.

XXXXX

The two arrived at Fluttershy's cottage that night at the appointed time, Applejack watching as the pony taxi galloped off. She hated how she couldn't even make it this small distance on her own.

She felt Dash touch her hoof with a smile and looked at her weakly, smiling back.

"You ready, babe?" her marefriend said and AJ only grinned, Dash rarely called her that.

"Yeah I'm ready hot cheeks," she said with a smirk and they knocked on the door, Fluttershy opening it and smiling largely.

"Oh you t-two came!" she said and led them inside, Dash helping AJ but when they approached the sitting room there sat Pinkie at the small table, looking down at her cake with quiet eyes.

"Hey Pinkie."

The pink pony looked up slowly as she saw Dash and AJ in front of her and just gave a warm smile.

"Hey guys,"

"Long time… no see," AJ said nervously and Pinkie just nodded her head,

"I'm so glad you came."

Dash helped Applejack onto the couch but AJ just pushed away saying, "No, I can do it."

"Kay..?" Dash said slowly and Applejack sat up on the lounge, smiling at Pinkie weakly, Dash going over and giving the pink pony a hug.

"Happy Bday Pinkie,"

"Thanks, Dashie." Pinkie said with a smile and Dash sat down on the couch next to her marefriend, Fluttershy sitting down on the ground to finish off the assembly.

"Is anyone else coming?" Applejack asked nervously and Fluttershy gave a peaceful smile,

"Rarity said she'd pop by for a bit, I'm so glad we're together…"

"Twilight not comin'?" Applejack asked weakly.

"No… she couldn't make it."

"I haven't seen her in so long…" the orange mare said to herself quietly and felt Dash hold her hoof with a smile.

"We'll see her again,"

"I know…" AJ said with a quiet voice, but somehow she never believed her own words.

The four all looked at each other, Pinkie just smiling happy to see her friends, happy to see Dash was happy… happy knowing things were good, that the past could be forgiven.

"So, you two have any plans for the future?" Pinkie said nervously with a big smile.

"Like what?" Dash said in wonder.

"Wedding bells, foals?"

The two went completely silent, the talk of this really something neither of them had ever discussed and Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked at each other awkwardly.

Dash had always been too afraid to mention any of this to Applejack, she had always waited for her to bring it up and looked at her marefriend with a nervous smile.

AJ just smiled awkwardly back at Pinkie and said with a nervous voice,

"In time."

"Oh I know, but you girls must have talked about it?"

The two looked at each again… these questions were difficult and Dash only said, suddenly sad,

"…no."

"Come on Pinkie, let's blow out your candles," Fluttershy said changing the subject and Pinkie only rolled her eyes with a giggle,

"Oh alright."

She gave a big blow and soon small streams of smoke rose from the candle sticks, Fluttershy cutting the cake and handing out pieces to all her friends.

"Thanks," Dash said as she took hers and looked at Applejack nervously. They had been together for a year now… but maybe it was too soon to really be talking about this stuff. She thought about it often though.. but what was she afraid of?

The four ate their cake, Pinkie and Fluttershy laughing and talking and soon Rarity arrived, bringing a present of a new dress and Pinkie just squeaked in glee, trying it on then and there, the ponies admiring her with compliments.

Rarity smiled at her friends, saying to AJ and Dash,

"Hello you two,"

"Hey Rarity," AJ said back kindly.

"You look lovely Applejack," she said with a warm face and the orange mare smiled nervously. Ponies always treated her more carefully since that day, and she said back,

"Thanks Rarity,"

"It's a shame Twilight couldn't come," Fluttershy said sadly and Applejack just looked to the ground… out of everyone, Twilight was the one she really needed to see… ponies had always talked about how she had stayed by her side so much in the hospital, she wondered why the unicorn had just vanished from her life.

The party continued on, the girls making jokes, laughing but soon it grew late and Dash had to leave to get a taxi.

The girls all hugged AJ as she left in weak steps the cottage and soon she found herself back in her farm home, Dash making her some tea before the Pegasus asked with a nervous laugh,

"Crazy night, huh?"

"Oh yeah… it was really sumthin' seeing all our friends again,"

"It was funny what Pinkie said, wasn't it?"

AJ looked up at her confused, "What was that again?"

"About our future plans," Dash said slightly annoyed she couldn't recall… what else would she mean by what Pinkie said.

"Oh yeah…" Applejack said with a awkward smile, "I guess somepony was going to bring it up eventually."

"AJ… do you want to talk about it?" Dash said, coming over with AJ's tea cup and the orange mare just looked off nervous.

"Not tonight…"

Okay, not the answer Dash wanted.

She looked at her a little annoyed,

"Why not?"

"Well we know what we are… why do we hav' ta formalize it?"

She did not expect to hear that… how come Applejack had never spoken of this before?

"I…" Dash said, looking at her marefriend quietly, though now that she looked at her, she wished she could use a different word…

Wife,

"I don't know."

Applejack seemed a little nervous, as she stepped towards Dash and kissed her on the cheek.

"I'm goin' to bed," she said with a reassuring smile and Dash just nodded slowly, watching her feeble marefriend struggle to get up those stairs.

It hurt her… she always pictured that after a year together AJ would want this to be put in stone… after everything, all she had said to her, all they were.

Maybe she had to just push them forward like she had done in the beginning.

The beginning where Applejack did not even want to admit her feelings until Dash had given her no choice.

She bit her lip scared at what she had to do.

Propose…

Maybe it was time.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, I bet you didn't expect to see this? I don't know... this is my first time writing a sequel so I hope I don't give up on it. I usually like to only tell one story and that's it, but I just kept having thoughts of other things for this story so decided I'd give it a shot.<strong>

**I guess that's it, and maybe I'll do a better job of concluding things this time, who knows :)  
><strong>

**If you think I should continue then go ahead and review, I may add another chapter soon.  
><strong>

**Bye **

**Feeling Grand.  
><strong>


	16. Part II chapter 2

A new day came, the sun shining in brightly into the house and AJ just sat in the lounge room, her heart beating weakly, her body sore like always and she only looked outside the window, seeing the bright blue sky clear of clouds and grass so green it could blind.

Granny Smith was away on her rocking chair, knitting some clothing with a cheery face on, as she hummed loudly to herself a song Applejack could only assume was from the old days.

Granny Smith was the one that usually stayed in the house with her, sometimes Fluttershy came over but that was usually only once a week.

She watched her grandma rock back and forth as she knitted some type of clothing but for the life of her she couldn't make out what it was.

"Hey, Granny…" she said softly and Granny Smith looked up at her with a question mark.

"Yes, sugarcube?"

AJ giggled a little, knowing that's where she got the habbit and only sighed,

"Does life ever get any easier the longer it goes?"

"Applejack, it gets ten times better, look at me!" Granny said with a cheer "I'm ninety eight and I'm as fit as a fiddle!"

"Yeah…" AJ said with a smile. She remembered when she was a young filly how Granny Smith used to tell her stories… and ever since coming back from the brink of life, she had started to hear them again as she stayed in the home with her during the day.

But today she had to do something else… today she had to make a re-acquaintance with a friend she hadn't seen in so long.

She sighed… she had only been in Ponyville town a few times in the last few months, she had forgotten nearly how it looked like in her head. She could make out the usual details but today she would see it all again and then see Twilight.

"Granny, could you call for Rainbow dash for me?" she asked weakly and the elderly green mare nodded, walking off in quaky steps to the door but when she reached it her voice yelled so shrill,

"_RAINBOW!_ APPLEJACK WANTS _YOU!" _AJ blocked her ears from the pain of the scream and Granny Smith just licked her dry lips, coming back to the lounge room and her granddaughter said quietly,

"Thanks,"

"Oh anything for you, dear"

The door opened shortly after with Dash zooming into the house and looked at AJ worried,

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," AJ lied, but Dash wasn't convince, and the orange pony continued weakly, "Could you call me a taxi?"

"Why, where do you need to go?" Dash asked quickly, AJ never left the house.

"I want ta go visit Twilight…"

"Oh," the Pegasus said surprised, she didn't expect that the party last night would have such an affect on her, "Sure, I'll go get one,"

"Thanks," AJ said with a quiet voice and Dash took one last look at her, before flying out of the house to go look for one.

She was so glad Applejack was finally reaching out again to others, she knew once they had their friends back things would get so much better for her. She admired her for how she survived day in day out in that house, knowing herself she would've gone crazy in the first week.

She got the pony taxi ten minutes later and arrived back at her marefriend's home, helping AJ to the cart and sat beside her, but AJ only said,

"Ya don't have ta come,"

Dash looked at her confused, why was AJ so resistant to her so much lately?

"But I want to," she said quietly and her marefriend just looked off to the floor in a weak nod.

Once they arrived to Ponyville, Applejack just looked out into the streets of happy ponies going about their everyday lives and sighed… but she had to see her friend, she couldn't keep up this depression.

They reached the library a few minutes later and Dash helped AJ down, going over to the door and knocking on it.

They stood there for a few seconds, Applejack just getting a little fear in her chest as her heart fluttered faster but the door was opened and there stood Twilight, her face tired and worn but she paused when she saw the two, and said a little surprised.

"Applejack, Rainbow Dash?"

"Hey…" AJ said nervously and Twilight led them in but before Dash stepped in Applejack said to her weakly,

"Can I speak to her for a few minutes alone?"

Dash looked at her slowly confused… why would she exclude her from this when she had come all this way?

She gave a weak smile as she said in fake reassurance,

"Sure…"

"I'll only be a few minutes,"

Twilight looked at Applejack quietly, she did not want to have a big discussion, but she watched as Dash stepped aside, the door being closed but creaked opened just a little bit.

"What do you want AJ?" Twilight asked then and there and the orange mare sat down tiredly, her legs too worn to lift her any longer.

"I just wanted ta see how ya goin'? That's it,"

"Me… well, it could be better…" she replied honestly and AJ just looked to the ground sadly.

"Is it weird, not havin' it anymore?"

"It never stops being weird." Twilight said and walked over to her kettle, turning it on but just felt her eyes water weakly.

"I'm glad you're alive…" she said quietly, not looking at the pony behind her, "But I can't be anything now…"

"What do ya mean?"

"I'm not Celestia's prodigy anymore… I'm not the element of magic… I'm just… a pony."

Applejack became silent, what Twilight had given up to give her back her life… something she only wished sometimes now was never given back.

"Can I just ask you one thing?" Twilight said as she finally turned to look Applejack in the eyes, her own purple ones filled with tears, "Are you happy?"

Applejack looked slowly to the ground, her hoof rolling on the wood and she said in a sad voice,

"I don't know…"

Rainbow Dash felt her heart stop beating when she heard those few words, she had stayed by the door listening…

AJ… wasn't h-happy?

She left in tears, flying so high in the sky so no pony could see her cry. She knew Applejack didn't have the life she remembered, she knew things were so much harder for her… but Applejack had her?

…was she not enough?

"But you chose to come back?" Twilight said confused and AJ nodded barely, "Are you saying you regret it now?"

"I…" AJ said weakly… no one really asking her opinion now that she had the life she had, "I don't know…"

"Please tell me what I did wasn't for nothing?" Twilight asked, as if slightly angry… all she had done so this pony could live and AJ just looked at her… she had to say.

"It wasn't… I know it wasn't… I just miss you all. I want your friendship back, Twilight."

The unicorn took a sigh… she knew she was being too hard on this weak feeble pony, AJ was just confused with how everything turned out and she said with a weak smile,

"I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch… I just… it's nothing,"

"What?" Applejack asked confused.

Twilight looked at her sadly,

"I just thought… as I wasn't an element any longer… our friendship didn't matter anymore."

"You know we weren't friends with you for that reason," Applejack said a little startled to hear this, and Twilight looked off nervously.

"I know…"

The two looked at each other quietly… Twilight's words not seeming sure and AJ just sighed… after everything they had been through… how come she found it harder to talk to that unicorn now than in the beginning?

"Could you get Rainbow?" she asked… feeling like she didn't have the energy to be here any longer… Twilight's hidden anger and pain nearly matching her own… but Twilight was just a pony now… whereas she was an invalid for the rest of her life.

Twilight nodded, and went over to the door shouting,

"Rainbow Dash! Where are you!"

Rainbow Dash heard the call and wiped her eyes weakly… she didn't want to go back… she didn't want to see AJ's unhappy face that just wouldn't change…

But she loved her…

She had to always go back.

Twilight looked as Dash flew down with a shaky smile and heard the unicorn ask confused,

"Are you okay?"

"Me, oh yeah…" she said trying to put on a nonchalant voice and Twilight looked at her unsure, before Dash saw Applejack struggle to come back out and it hurt her heart looking at her forever like this… forever not the pony she used to be.

"Here," Dash said as she helped her back into the pony cart and Applejack just sighed, pushing Dash away before looking down to Twilight.

"Will I see you soon?" she asked the unicorn afraid that all this had been for naught and Twilight smiled weakly,

"Yeah… you'll see me soon."

Applejack smiled hearing that… her friend still wanted her in her life… things could get better again and the cart pulled off, Applejack looking over to Dash who had been quite quiet.

"You okay, hun?" she asked confused. Dash looked over to her weakly, not saying anything at first but when she saw AJ's slightly worried eyes just nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine…"

"Thank you, for comin' with me today."

"It's fine…" Dash said and felt AJ snuggle into her… the warmth of her marefriend all she wished she could concentrate on but what she heard outside the library… it still hurt her… it still made her feel pathetic that even though she tried so hard, her marefriend just seemed to get more and more withdrawn from life.

But yesterday and today were good stepping stones… and once she proposed, she knew AJ would say yes and would be happy… she would give her everything and she would be happy… she knew this would do it.

The next couple of days Rainbow looked through the jewellery shop for rings but none of them meant anything… they were all stupid. She wanted AJ to have something she could wear everyday, to always remind her she was loved and then it hit Dash…

A necklace.

Ponies couldn't wear rings unless they were unicorns… but with a necklace Dash could see it on her everyday… see that AJ was hers for the world to know instantly.

But none of the necklaces would do… they just weren't the ones.

She sighed as she shook her head for the twentieth time and eventually gave up, heading back to the farm but when she arrived in she saw a wrapped up present in the kitchen.

She looked at it confused, more confused when she saw her name on it and called out,

"AJ..?"

"I'm here…" AJ said weakly and she walked slowly into the room, Dash looking at her confused.

"Did you get me this?"

Applejack nodded with a nervous smile, just saying, "Open it."

Dash looked at her a little lost, but complied and her eyes nearly blew open in glee as before her was a ticket to the WonderBolts next show in Canterlot.

"OMG, you didn't?" she said so happy she could explode and Applejack just nodded slowly, "Oh thank you!" Dash said running over and giving her a huge hug, "Thank you, thank you! THANK YOU!"

"That's alright," Applejack said weakly and felt Dash shaking with glee,

"You need the break."

Dash paused when she heard that added sentence, and looked back at the ticket… realising there was only one.

"You only got one?"

Applejack looked off nervous, "I would just hold you back the whole time…"

"AJ," Dash said hurt that she would even think that, "I want you to come with me...?"

"No, it's fine… it's your day, I want you to enjoy it."

Dash didn't understand why she was saying this… did she think she didn't deserve to go and she only said weakly,

"Applejack?"

"I want you to be happy…" Applejack said with a small smile, "I got this for you… a break from the farm,"

This just kept making Dash sadder and sadder… she wanted Applejack to go with her… but she wouldn't… did she think that Dash would have a better time without her?

She saw that country ponie's green eyes look at her with love…but this still didn't make her feel any better and said, not knowing why she would even agree,

"Okay."

She felt AJ kiss her, as the orange pony walked weakly off and Dash just watched her go…

Not afraid anymore of Applejack withdrawing from life.

Afraid she was withdrawing from her…

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, here's the next chapter.<strong>

**I hope you liked this and if you do review, a new chapter will probably be out in a few days or even tomorrow if I can manage it :)  
><strong>

**Bye, Feeling Grand.  
><strong>


	17. Part II chapter 3

Rainbowdash packed her bags quietly in her bedroom… a little nervous going on this small trip by herself but what could she do? Applejack wouldn't go with her…

She had put on a happy face with what the decision had been but it was a whole night away from the farm, something she hadn't done in months and something which seemed so foreign to her now.

She sighed, and swung her bags around her back, heading downstairs but paused quickly when she saw Applejack struggling to reach for a cup on the shelf and she went over fast, getting it for her.

Applejack didn't say anything, just muttering,

"Thanks."

"Well," Dash said nervously, as she looked at the exit behind her and then back at AJ, "I guess I'm ready to leave for the train."

"You'll have a really good time," AJ said quietly and Dash hated her attitude,

"Well it won't nearly be as fun without you there," she said with shaky smile and Applejack said nothing, her eyes dimming to the ground.

"Ya better get goin'" she muttered but felt Dash suddenly hold her face as she kissed her on the lips deeply… so much tenderness and when they separated Dash said weakly,

"You know I love you more than anything,"

Applejack looked into her dark pink eyes slowly, nodding her head barely and watched as Dash went hesitantly away to the door, sighing when she heard it shut after her.

The train trip was so empty on her own, Rainbow Dash just stared through the window as houses and fields passed her by… why was she even going to this? Because Applejack wanted her to, but why did she want her to do it without her? It didn't make sense.

Lately Applejack hadn't been telling her much of what she was feeling, it just seemed Applejack was hiding things from her, putting on a brave face as if _if_ she did tell her what was wrong it'd hurt her, but it hurt her more that she wasn't saying anything.

Dash closed her eyes in loss as the train after a few hours pulled up at Canterlot station and she got her bags, getting out and heading into the city.

It was a bright afternoon, the show was going to be on in the night though, with the wonderbolts performing in glowing suits.

She hadn't seen a show in so long, she was looking forward to it but it was strange for the first time doing something on her own in so long.

She stopped walking when something glittered in her eye and she turned,

And there it was,

A golden necklace with a small blue heart shaped pendulum and she just stared at it, mesmerised.

That was it. It was the one. She smiled as she went into the shop.

It was expensive though, two hundred bits but she went to the bank and got the money, buying it and watched as it was put in a jewellery box so gently, before being kept safe in her bag.

She couldn't believe she had found it; it was so beautiful, so simple but showed so much. Her heart fluttered in glee… knowing now there was only one thing left to do and she was so eager to do it.

Propose, tomorrow.

XXXXX

Applejack sat in the lounge room, watching through the window the pitch black sky that night, a fire blazing across the room and keeping the house warm.

Granny Smith was telling a story to Applebloom who sat on the ground listening eagerly while Big Mac was away in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner.

She hoped Rainbow was having a good time, she hoped this would make up a little bit for all she had put her through the last year.

She hoped.

XXXXX

Dash headed to the stadium, a smile on her face as she ran quickly in glee but suddenly bumped into someone, tripping on the ground and looked up fast saying,

"Sorry!"

"Hey it's alright Rainbow Dash,"

Her eyes blinked in surprise as before her stood Spitfire, a friendly smile on her face and the yellow Pegasus lifted her hoof to her, Dash accepting it nervously as she helped her up.

"Haven't seen you to one of our shows in a long time," Spitfire said coolly and Dash smiled nervously,

"Oh yeah, things at home have been busy."

"Well it's good seeing you, did you come with anypony? A boyfriend maybe?"

Dash laughed awkwardly… man how was she going to explain this,

"Actually… I'm a fillyfooler."

Spitfire's eyes opened a little with surprise as she saw Dash's awkward face but in response just laughed,

"Oh… well I guess that's not a big surprise."

"Yeah," Dash said with a small laugh back, she couldn't believe she was talking to Spitfire, she always thought she had come off as an annoying fan girl and the yellow Pegasus just said with a smile,

"Well its good seeing you, you should come by the after party tonight, my invite."

"No way? Really!" Dash said in total ecstasy and Spitfire just giggled, handing her an after party pass on a plastic chain.

"Well you are one of our biggest fans," she said and started heading off, "Hope you like the show,"

"I'll love it!" Dash said over the moon and put the pass over her neck, her face bright with exhilaration and she quickly ran into the stadium, handing her ticket and getting a seat near the top so she could watch the show in all its awesomeness.

It started soon, as the lights were dimmed, all ponies watching silently before there was a big boom and the Wonderbolts exploded into the sky, their colourful glowing suits like fireworks as they zoomed, instant florescent patterns being made in the night and Dash's eyes sparkled in amazement,

It had always been her dream to be one of them… a dream from long ago, but her life was perfect the way it was now,

As long as she had AJ in it.

She cheered loudly when Spitfire did back flips in the sky. The show amazing, the night the best night ever.

XXXXX

Applejack looked at the clock slowly, seeing it was past ten and Dash's show would be coming to a close around now, she sighed, as Applebloom and Big Mac headed off to bed, Granny Smith rocking back and forth and AJ looked to her,

"Not goin' to bed Granny?"

"Oh not yet, say, did I tell you about the time of the apple famine?"

AJ giggled a little, nodding her head weakly and Granny looked at her befuddled, asking,

"Is everthin' alright sugarcube?"

Applejack grew quiet, looking at her grandma slowly… and sighed, shaking her head.

"No,"

"Why don't you tell ole' Granny," Granny Smith said with a large crooked smile and AJ smiled back weakly,

"It's nothin' really… I'm just glad Rainbow got to go out tonight, I wanted her to have fun for once,"

"You don't think she's havin' fun here?" Granny said bewildered.

AJ shook her head,

"I don't think this was ever the life she wanted…"

Granny looked at her confused,

"Well I think she's happy,"

"She thinks she's happy," AJ said quietly, looking out to the sky, the same sky Dash was looking out to thousands of miles away, "But maybe she only thinks that because she's never had anythin' else."

"Oh Applejack, your marefriend is very happy here,"

"How can she be?" Applejack said slightly angry, "When all I've done to her is taken… taken her dreams and just given' her mine."

"Applejack," Granny said with a frown, looking at her granddaughter with a sigh, "Your Grandfather Alfred, once asked me if I was happy… and you know what I said to him...'yes'."

Applejack looked at her not getting why she was telling her this,

"He asked, 'how can ya be happy when I can't give ya the world?' and all I said was, 'because I have you'"

Applejack just looked at her quietly listening... Granny Smith continuing weakly,

"Maybe happiness to her is different to happiness to you?"

Her green eyes watered and she shook her head "She only thinks I make her happy… but there are so many ponies that could give her more… more happiness… I'm jus'…" Applejack cried weakly, "I'm just being selfish keepin' her,"

Granny Smith sighed, shaking her head tiredly and got up out of her chair, heading to bed,

"I wish you'd see it through her eyes," she only muttered and Applejack hated how her grandma couldn't see that she was.

Rainbowdash had only ever really been with her, she only thought AJ was the one because she had never seen what it was like with another.

But how could she make Dash happy? When she couldn't even give her freedom…

She tried to give her it tonight… let Dash see the wonderbolts again, let her have something back from her old life… but all Dash was doing now was taking on her role… a life that was never meant for her.

She cried weakly on the lounge... never being what Rainbow deserved… not now, not ever again.

XXXXX

Rainbowdash stood awkwardly at the after party as she watched all her idols talking and laughing, some ponies taking pictures as others hurried themselves to the buffet and she looked around herself with a nervous smile.

"Hey Rainbow dash, good to see you!"

She smiled as she saw Spitfire approach her with Soarin and Spitfire gave her a wink,

"Having fun?"

"There's no words to describe this awesomeness." Dash said with a shaky ecstatic voice and Spitfire just laughed, Soarin looking around confused as if he was looking for something and Spitfire just pointed her eyes to him,

"Soarin has been completely out of the loop all day, a bit slack on his tricks tonight,"

"I thought he did great," Dash said nervously and Soarin just moaned,

"I was only off because I've been hungry all day and all Spitfire's been doing is making me do small talk with everyone,"

"No I haven't," Spitfire said with a smirk,

"Really? Does that mean I can finally eat?" Soarin asked eagerly and Spitfire giggled, nodding and the stallion hurried off with hunger to the buffet. Spitfire looked back at the awkward Dash with a smile,

"You know there's no need to be nervous."

"Oh I know… I just can't believe I'm here," Dash said with a small laugh, and looked at Spitfire's yellow eyes nervously, "You were amazing up there,"

"Aw thanks, well ten hours practice every day is what it takes to be that good,"

"Ten hours? Oh man, that must be so much fun!"

Spitfire giggled, stopping a waiter as he passed with champagne and asked, "You want one?"

"Oh… I don't know..."

"Come on, it's a party!" Spitfire countered and Dash just laughed,

"Oh okay, I guess a few won't hurt."

The two hung out for the rest of the night as Spitfire introduced a slightly tipsy Dash to some of the wonderbolts and Dash found herself laughing so much that night; that she honestly didn't know where the time went until she looked at the clock and saw it was three.

"CRAP!" She said in horror… how the hell was she going to get up tomorrow morning and she said to Spitfire nervously,

"I have to get heading."

"Really?" the yellow Pegasus said surprised, "Oh okay, here, I'll take you to the door." She said with a smile.

When the two reached it Dash just had to say her thanks,

"Thanks a lot for everything tonight, Spitfire. You have no idea what it means to me."

"No thank you," Spitfire said with a warm smile, "This party would've been boring without you,"

Dash nearly felt herself blush at the compliment but froze then and there as she felt Spitfire's lips suddenly push against hers and she pushed her away fast.

Spitfire looked at her confused,

"What's wrong?"

"I have a marefriend…"

All was silent as Spitfire stepped back and said nervously,

"Oh…" Dash couldn't believe this had just happened and the yellow Pegasus asked weakly, "Is she nice?"

"She's amazing," Dash said also nervous… how the hell did this happen.

"Well…" Spitfire said and just looked back at the party, "It was nice seeing you again,"

"Yeah… but I think I better go," Dash said awkwardly and left in stiff steps.

She heard Spitfire shout to her with a nervous voice, "I hope things work out for you two!"

Dash just waved back at her, not knowing what else she could do and went silently back to her hotel.

She lay in her bed, her mind full of so many thoughts but one kept coming to her head…

Should she tell Applejack?

She looked slowly across from her at the empty space beside her... her heart feeling so dead... she was in the bed alone.

She grabbed a pillow, putting it in the empty spot sadly and hugged it tight... imagining it was her love.

Tonight had nearly been perfect… but one little kiss had ruined it all… and now she wished she had never come.

* * *

><p><strong>I don't really have much of an author note to say this time, I guess review if you like. Update soon.<strong>


	18. Part II chapter 4

Pinkie sat behind the counter as she watched the customers coming in and out for the day, Mrs. Cake getting her to bring out the orders when requested and Pinkie did it because she was happy to have a place, a purpose not matter how small.

When the clock hit three that day Mrs Cake jumped remembering something in panic,

"I have to order my cream puffs! Pinkie, could you look after the shop for me for a few minutes?"

"No problem, Mrs Cake," Pinkie said with a happy spirit and Mrs Cake just smiled at her, leaving in a hurry, Pinkie going to the counter, seeing Lyra coming in.

"What can I do you for, Lyra?" she asked the aqua coloured unicorn with a smile and Lyra looked at her nervously,

"I just need to pick up a cream cake."

"Oh yes! It should be in the storage room," Pinkie said happily and walked off but when she came back out with the cake box being held by its ribbon in her mouth she saw Lyra give her an awkward look… though since her attempted suicide, she did seem to get a lot of that from ponies.

"Here it is," she said a little dampened now as she placed the box on the counter and Lyra seemed a little off so Pinkie sighed, preparing to go back to work but heard a voice ask scared,

"Pinkie?"

"Yeah…" she said turning her head back to the unicorn.

"Would you like to… hang out sometime?"

Pinkie blinked her eyes confused, she looked at the unicorn a little bewildered and Lyra only continued weakly,

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"No, I'd love to meet up with you," she said nervously with a smile and Lyra smiled back relieved.

"How about tomorrow for lunch?"

"Sure!" Pinkie said a little more enthusiastic than what she expected and Lyra smiled, levitating the cake box and departing on her way.

Pinkie was a little confused about all this as she watched her go… did Lyra know she was a fillyfooler? And more importantly,

Was she just asked out on a date?

XXXXX

Rainbowdash looked quietly out her window as the train slowed its speed, arriving into the station. It had been a four hour trip, the train leaving at two and arriving into Ponyville at six on the dot.

The sun had set now, as darkness had spread around every inch where light once was in the sky and she looked out quietly seeing a shadowy town, light only coming from the houses.

She got up and began her journey home, her wings lifting her off the ground and she soared silently back to Apple farm.

She was scared coming back… and only because of what she was going to do tonight, the necklace box being kept safe in her bag.

But another thing made her question if she should say or not… the kiss.

She knew it meant nothing, it was just misread signals… and Applejack could always recognise these things for herself.

But still, a part of her felt guilt and knew she couldn't propose with that kiss hanging over her head… though how was she going to say it?

She saw the farm house and descended down, landing in front of the door and coming in.

"Rainbowdash!"

Applebloom came running to her with a gleeful face and Rainbowdash just ruffled up the little tyke's mane with a warm smile,

"Hey Applebloom? Much happened since I've been gone?"

"Well me and the girls tried pie eating for our cutie marks but we didn't get any," she said as if no loss in that and Dash just chuckled but still remembered the mare she wanted to see and left Applebloom, going into the sitting room and seeing Applejack standing up, looking at the fire in silence and she smiled nervously as she approached her.

"I'm back,"

Applejack looked up to her, her green eyes tired and she smiled weakly giving Dash a small hug.

"Did ya enjoy it?"

Dash didn't answer that straight away… not knowing if she should say yes or no, considering what happened after all the fun.

"I actually need to talk to you in private about something," she said slowly a little nervous and Applejack looked at her confused.

"Okay?"

Dash went and closed the door turning back to her marefriend a little afraid of what was to come next.

"Last night… Spitfire invited me to the after party after the show… and she kissed me just as I was about to leave."

Applejack just looked at her silently… Spitfire had kissed her…? Dash's hero, the pony she idolised …had just kissed her?

"What?"

"I did not expect it at all." Dash tried to clarify and Applejack scuffed.

"Are ya sure you weren't flirting with her?"

"What? No!"

"So Spitfire, the pony you've idolised for years just kissed you? Without you leading her on or anythin'?"

"APPLEJACK? I would never cheat on you!" Dash said hurt, h-how? How could she not believe her?

AJ just looked to the ground, her eyes swelling up in tears… how could Dash expect her to believe that? That she had played no part in this and Dash just grew angry at what AJ was thinking of her.

"How could you even think I would?" she yelled in rage, "You're the only one I want!"

"You want this!" Applejack just cried back, "You want this handicap when you could have _someone else?_"

"Why are you saying this?"

"Look, if you just wanted to try a different pony that's fine!" Applejack said to her in tears, "But don't lie to me and say you had no part!"

Dash couldn't believe this! Had Applejack always seen her like this? One that would just go with another as soon as she was out of the picture and flung open her bag with her wing quickly, pulling out the necklace box and throwing it on the ground in fury.

"LOOK!" she yelled, her eyes also filling with tears and AJ just looked down to the box confused, the necklace had falling out and was glittering in her watery eyes,

"YOU THINK I WOULD CHEAT ON YOU THE DAY BEFORE I PROPOSED!"

"…w-what?" AJ said confused, taking a weak step back so lost with all that was happening, "Why did you get this?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU!"

"You don't want this," Applejack only said in a cry, looking at Dash in tears, "You don't want to do this; it's not right for us!"

Dash looked at her with a breaking heart at every word Applejack had said.

"Why?"

"We've never even talked about this! How do you even know this is what you want?"

"Because I love you more than the world!" Dash said in tears. This was not how this was meant to go, not the way she wanted this to turn out.

"You're not r-ready." Applejack said in a weak stutter "Are you sure you really want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

Dash didn't understand. Why was she saying this? Telling her she wasn't ready when Applejack couldn't even admit what she was basically saying!

That she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with her!

She couldn't take it… couldn't take how Applejack was acting… it was killing her, listening to all these excuses when she couldn't just tell her the truth!

"You don't love me…" Dash just whispered in tears, Applejack shaking her head quickly,

"No! That's not it!"

"Then what is it?" Dash said looking at her with still eyes, just wanting to know the answer to finally put her out of her misery, "Yes… or no."

Applejack couldn't answer that… she knew if she said yes then she would be taking everything away from Rainbow Dash.

Her freedom, her dreams… her life and the choice to be with another that could give her so much more…

But losing her would be too much to take… when she wanted to give Rainbow Dash the choice to leave her, not force it on her and she just looked into those pink eyes, her heart breaking seeing them.

"This…" she said slowly "this isn't what you want,"

"No. This isn't what _you_ want!" Dash yelled in tears and left, she couldn't take anymore, leaving the house and flying with all her speed… trying to get away from that place… trying to get away from that pony that just couldn't tell her the truth!

She zoomed past Ponyville but heard a voice yell to her,

"Rainbow Dash!"

She didn't want to stop, but she was flying to nowhere, her cloud home didn't exist anymore and she looked around sadly, seeing Twilight was below her, looking at her worried.

She landed on the ground… she didn't want to be alone and only heard Twilight ask her confused,

"What's wrong?"

"Applejack s-said no!"

Twilight didn't understand but she saw veined red eyes on the Pegasus and asked,

"To what?"

"To my p-proposal…" Dash only cried in tears and Twilight's eyes only widened in surprise.

"You proposed?" Rainbow nodded her head in a quaky shiver and Twilight didn't know how to handle this… she had barely spoken to her in months, "Do you have anywhere to go?"

"N-no…"

She sighed, putting her hoof weakly around Rainbow Dash's shoulder and said,

"You can take my spare bed tonight…"

Dash just looked at her in sorrow, seeing Twilight's comforting eyes and just nodded, following her quietly back to the library, sitting at the table as Twilight made tea and Dash just looked blankly ahead of her… her mind empty… not able to handle what had happened.

Twilight poured her a cup and Dash only looked at it silently, whispering,

"Thanks…"

"Do you want to talk about it?" Twilight asked quietly and Dash just looked at her, helpless and alone.

"I thought it would make her happy… as happy as how I was… but all she kept saying was 'you don't want to do this'"

"Did you think… maybe it was too soon?"

Dash looked at her confused,

"How?"

"Well you two have only been together for a year… maybe she just wants you to be sure."

"Be sure if I love her?" Dash said weakly, "I can't bare even a day without her… she's the one that keeps pushing away…"

"Maybe she just doesn't want to hurt you…"

"By telling me how she feels? How the hell would that hurt me?" Dash said back lost. Twilight remained quiet and only heard Dash say, "Could it be because we've only done it once?"

"What?" Twilight said, confused to what she heard.

"She said it was okay… but whenever we try, I just hurt her… and I can't see her like that, in pain." Dash whispered and just cried… Twilight felt a little awkward hearing this… she didn't know things were that bad since that day.

"Are you sure, marriage would solve any of this? The distancing, the intimacy?"

"I just want to be with her… forever," Dash said, her eyes streaming out tears, and she just fell her head into her hoofs… Applejack only hurting her when she loved her so much.

She lay in Twilight's spare bed that night, feeling so much pain… hating that it was another night away from her love… Applejack not able to answer her… but she would have to go back tomorrow.

If it was no… she knew it would hurt, but it would hurt all too much more if it was over… she loved her too much to live her life without her, why couldn't Applejack see that?

She opened her eyes slowly, seeing she was in an apple field and saw Applejack bucking a tree hard, the necklace dangling on her neck.

"Applejack…" she said, getting up and coming to her confused, "You're wearing it?"

"I was jus' surprised," Applejack said with a smile "But how could my answer be anythin' else but yes?"

"It… looks amazing on you," Dash said with a small smile and went to approach her but Applejack took a step back.

"If ya can catch me," She said with a wink "then ya can have me." and she began running away, Dash grinning as she galloped quickly after her.

They ran through the fields fast, Dash laughing until she did a sudden leap, catching Applejack and pinning her to the ground, Dash gasping in lost breaths,

"Y-you can run!" she said in happiness.

She saw AJ's eyes glitter as she pinned her down and the orange mare just said in a panting breath,

"What are ya waiting for?"

She kissed Dash suddenly, their lips colliding with such force as Dash kissed her back hard.

Their lips pushed against each other so fiercely, as their mouths joined and separated several times in lust. Dash's tongue fought to conquer her lovers, as they slid hungrily against each other, so much heat going through her body in desire-

But when she looked back into her lover's eyes, their colour was dark yellow… and she froze as she saw Spitfire below her.

The yellow Pegasus just smiled at her whispering,

"What are you waiting for?"

Dash jumped up on her bed… panting quickly.

It was morning as the sun shined across the room lighting up the library but Dash just lay in her bed… her chest beating up and down… so confused.

Her dreams never went that way… and she hoped they wouldn't go like that again.


	19. Part II chapter 5

Dash headed downstairs to the library floor, her steps quiet and her head tired and stressed. She knew she shouldn't outstay her presence and it was best to head back home but Twilight stopped her at the stairs.

"Rainbow Dash… I don't think you should go back straight away."

"What do you mean?" she asked confused and slightly worried. Twilight sighed, she wasn't any expert on relationships but she felt something was being hidden in this one.

"I just think, maybe you two need some space from one another… to get a different perspective."

"I don't know if that'll do-"

"Please Dash," Twilight said weakly, looking at the exhausted Pegasus with eyes of concern, "Do you think going back today will make Applejack change her mind? She probably needs space just like you."

Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight slowly… she wanted to go back… but she didn't want the anger, the tension and she sighed, nodding her head.

"Why don't you have breakfast and read something," Twilight suggested and Dash went quietly to the kitchen, Twilight looking at her silently before heading to the exit, "I'm just going to head out for a little bit…"

Dash looked at her slightly confused as the door closed behind the unicorn and looked down to the ground… feeling like the world was too hard to handle sometimes.

XXXX

There was a hard knock on the Apple house door. Twilight waited outside of it a little on edge but the door was opened eventually by Granny Smith and she smiled politely at the elderly mare, saying strongly,

"Is Applejack around?"

"Oh yes, she's just in the lounge room," Granny Smith said with a big smile, Twilight felt a little awkward, she hadn't been to this house in ages. She looked at the green pony quietly and added,

"Is it okay if I talk to her?"

"Be my guest," Granny said and led Twilight in. The purple unicorn headed to the sitting room and closed the door, Applejack looking up from her book a little wary… Twilight hadn't visited her in nearly a year.

"Howdy Twilight," she said weakly, and Twilight didn't respond straight away, standing in the centre of the room and just staring at Applejack… the orange pony feeling like she had come for more than just a visit.

"Tell me," Twilight said, AJ becoming nervous "why did you say no?"

Applejack realized then and there what she was here for and took a weak breath out, replying,

"I didn't…" Twilight still stared daggers at her and she continued in barely a voice, "I just didn't want her to make a mistake."

"Maybe you're the one making the mistake?" Twilight countered and AJ shut her eyes… she didn't want to have to explain this… explain her reasoning and only heard Twilight continue, "Well?"

"She just… does so much and gets so little of what she wants. I just want her to see everythin' she's missin' if we do this."

"You know she isn't missing anything." Twilight said a little startled at this answer… and when she looked at Applejack, she felt there was more to this then just Rainbow Dash's feelings "What else is it?"

"That's it." Applejack replied barely "I want her to be free."

"But what about you?" Twilight asked "Do you not want marriage?"

"I…" AJ said weakly… her voice becoming short "I don't…"

Twilight blinked her eyes surprised by the answer, what?

"Why?"

"You wouldn't understand…" Applejack said, and looked away to the ground… she hated how a reason she had never admitted was still only her secret. She looked back up at Twilight and took a weak breath out.

"I'd lose it…"

Twilight didn't understand.

"My last bit of independence… when she already does everythin' for me… I'm not even a pony anymore… I'm just," her eyes watered as a tear slipped down, "a rock, that she has to carry around. Look after… and if I say 'yes' than I'll never be me… I'll never be able to heal… because she won't be able to let me."

"You really think she's holding you back?" Twilight asked flabbergasted.

"When I'm with her… I can't do anythin' for myself… she does it all for me. I feel useless, like I'm not even me… just a part of her and marriage would only make it more so."

"Applejack? She only wants to help you, to love you?"

Applejack knew what she was saying sounded so selfish… but it was how she felt, she was holding Rainbow Dash back from her dreams… but when Applejack was with her herself, all she was was nothing, a foal to be taken care of and she was so much more than that.

"Dash is at my house,"

Applejack looked up when she heard that being said, looking at Twilight confused,

"Why didn't she come with you?"

"I told her you two needed space." Twilight said barely and looked back at the door… feeling there was nothing more to stay for before turning her head back to Applejack,

"Think about her, Applejack… don't go ruin everything because of your own insecurities."

Applejack only opened her mouth in disbelief of what was said, before Twilight left the room and then the house… AJ's eyes only streaming down tears… no one understood how she felt, how much this fact was tearing her apart.

But if she told Rainbow Dash she didn't want her help… she didn't need her as a carer… it would just hurt that Pegasus all the more… it seemed all she was doing was hurting her and she just couldn't seem to make this feeling go away.

She looked up slowly as she heard the door open and Granny Smith come in, the green old mare looking at her Granddaughter as if ashamed of her and AJ knew she had heard the conversation.

"Granny,"

"I don't think ya realize," her grandma only muttered, "how much that Pegasus loves you… or else," she said and shook her head weakly, "I don't think you love her as much as she does you."

"You don't know how much we feel for each other." Applejack said only angry, what gave Granny Smith the right to tell her how much she loved Rainbow Dash or not.

"I think, _you_ don't know how much you feel… and until you decide what she means ta ya… I'm afraid this will only get worse."

"Why are you saying this, Grandma?" Applejack asked only angry and confused… didn't Granny Smith already see how much pain she was going through, "Why are you blaming this all on me?"

"Because, if you don't open your eyes it might be too late… and someone has to tell ya this."

Applejack shut her eyes in anger and pain… tears balling up in them and she just said so coldly.

"Just go away."

"I love ya, Applejack." Granny said tiredly and left the room, Applejack just grabbed her book and threw it hard to the ground… they all said they loved her… yet they all told her how she should act, how she should feel when none of them knew what it was like to be her… useless… and that was what killed her the most.

The house was quiet that day between her and Granny Smith… even her own family turning against her and she went to bed that night… dead inside… angry… useless… a nobody… not herself anymore, just a shadow of the real Applejack.

When she woke that morning it was because Applebloom was shaking her with tears in her hazel eyes, and she sat up seeing Big Mac across the room, as quiet as a mouse.

She looked at the two confused and asked,

"What is it?"

"Granny Smith is d-dead,"

Applejack froze… as if her mind went empty… her face blank and she only asked, her voice shaky.

"…how?"

"She died in her sleep, last night," Big Mac replied with a quaky voice, his eyes red from tears and Applebloom only fell into Applejack's hoofs, crying hard into her shoulder.

Applejack just sat there… this wasn't a dream… this was real… and she felt teardrops trickle down her cheeks as she only asked,

"Why?"

"She was old…" Big Mac only replied… the only answer that made sense "The doctor's comin' to take her away for an autopsy… I'll arrange the funeral… ya don't have to w-worry."

"No." Applejack only cried, feeling helpless in all of this, "I want to h-help!"

"Okay…" Big Mac said in a stutter and Applejack just held her sister… hearing the weeping of the small family… a member leaving them and never coming back.

Rainbow Dash lay dead in her bed that morning but everything stopped when Twilight came in with the news… everything being awoken and she left the library that instant.

How could this happen at such a bad time… she didn't even knock on the farm house door, coming in quickly and seeing relatives of the Apple's all around the house, looking quickly for Applejack and soon found her…

Crying on a cousin's shoulder.

She came over to her… not afraid… forgetting everything that had happened in the last couple of days and when Applejack saw her she only stuttered,

"R-rainbow,"

Dash hugging her as Applejack only weeped in her hoofs… the house full of so much sorrow… for now and until the body could be laid to rest.

It seemed to happen all so fast… one second Granny Smith was here, the next she was gone… and soon Applejack felt no more tears… tired from it… her eyes hurting… her head hurting… her body full of the same pain like always but now it felt like she deserved it…

For how she treated her Grandma the night before she left for good… Applejack just couldn't understand.

Why she was this way? This pointless way.

It seemed time just went so slow the next two days… before they stood inside the temple and speeches were said… Applejack only mumbling her words… feeling such guilt before whispering,

"I'm sorry…"

"She was the best granny ever," Applebloom only said in tears and Big Mac muttered,

"Eeeyup,"

Dash stood by Applejack's side, trying to be there for her… as they watched the coffin lower into the earth and soon the grounds were left, one pony at a time until it was only the three Apples and the Pegasus.

When they arrived back home, food was given out and talk was small, Applejack hugging her friends as the mane six united for this period of loss, the girls giving words of sympathy but no one… no one knew the talk AJ had had with Granny Smith the night before she died.

"We'll see you soon," Fluttershy said meekly as she and Rarity hugged Applejack and the weak orange pony just nodded her head… watching as her friends departed with everyone else, Twilight giving her a look of concern… but Applejack didn't care…

She just felt like nothing.

She watched as the house emptied of family and friends… staying up until it was only her and Rainbow Dash left in the room and she only muttered.

"I guess… that's it."

"Are you okay, AJ?" Dash asked afraid… Applejack had barely spoken… only cried the last few days and the orange mare just shut her eyes, nodding her head.

"I'm fine…" she said and began to leave but tripped, hitting the ground hard and Rainbow Dash stiffened, running over to help her up but Applejack just said,

"No… I can do it…"

Dash just watched as Applejack tried to get back on her legs… but only screamed in pain… tears streaming down her cheeks and Dash only begged,

"Please, Applejack,"

"I can do it myself!" Applejack only yelled, trying to get up but her legs only quaked beneath her. She wasn't this useless pony! She wasn't just someone that had to have everything done for her.

"Applejack, s-stop it" Dash cried, she couldn't watch her in pain- not when she could do something, "PLEASE!"

"You want me to run again…?" AJ only asked in tears, as she fell to the ground for the third time in pain and just cried, "Then let me _try_!"

And that's when the Pegasus broke.

"_**STOP IT!**_"

Applejack stopped her struggling as she heard that scream of anger.

Of pure fury and she just lay there on the ground confused… not understanding what she had done.

Dash helped her up then and there… Applejack not knowing what to say as the Pegasus took her to her room, the orange pony keeping quiet.

When AJ was in her bed… she just stared at Dash confused… why did she even come back to her? All AJ did was cause her suffering… all she did was make her partner cry and she only heard the blue pony say,

"I can't see you like t-that."

She looked at the Pegasus as Dash said those words to the wall… not able to face her… her voice angry.

"Not like that… not in pain…" she whispered, her heart hurting her so much from the sight of Applejack helpless… "Not since that day when I could do nothing."

Applejack remained silent, just listening.

"Yet all you are are in pain, and you won't let me do anything to help you. _WHY?_" Dash asked, looking at her in tears, "Do you think you don't deserve it? I CAN'T SEE YOU LIKE THAT… don't you understand?"

"I'm…" Applejack said, not sure what she could say… not knowing Dash felt this way, "I'm sorry…"

"Do you think my life would be better off without you?"

Applejack sat on her bed in silence… feeling so bad that the truth was…

"Yes."

Dash just looked at her in disbelief… she truly believed this.

She had to say it; she had to finally tell her.

"The day I thought you were gone forever… I" she took a breath "… I,"

Applejack didn't want to see those pained eyes but couldn't look away… and all she heard was,

"I tried to kill myself."

"…what?"

Dash looked to the bed… she didn't like remembering that day… the day when everything felt like it was lost but she had been given back hope, as if by a miracle.

"I was stopped by Pinkie… and when I saw you alive… I couldn't believe it… but yet… you wish you were dead? You want to _leave_ me…" she cried

"Applejack." Dash said in tears and Applejack just looked at her loved one in so much pain, "I can't live without you, don't you understand?"

AJ looked at Dash silently… seeing everything for what it finally was… seeing what she had done… what she had continually done… pushing her away… rejecting her help… lying to herself when she said that Dash would be better off without her,

When she wouldn't…

And Rainbow Dash just lay on the bed… crying weakly to herself… Applejack knowing there was nothing she could do,

…but be there for her, for the first time in so long and she only held Dash in her hoofs as she said… the only thing she could,

"I'm sorry… Rainbow… I'm so sorry,"

Repeating those words into the night… until there was nothing more to say just,

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

* * *

><p><strong>Well a load happened in this chapter… seriously, but don't worry, it hopefully gets better... hopefully :)<br>**


	20. Part II chapter 6

Dash's eyes opened slowly that morning.

She could feel the sunlight of dawn spread through the room, warming her head with the heat of the new day… but last night had felt like too much, everything coming together and forcing her to spill her feelings. Knowing now, with Applejack discovering everything… that things could only get worse.

But maybe what she did was for the best, maybe she had to tell her even though it terrified her, for keeping it in so long was what had killed her most, she just hoped things would change… things become happy again. A wish for a future that might not come to pass, but a wish she held tight.

She felt a little weight on the end of the bed, blinking her eyes weakly as she sat up and saw Applejack sitting quietly down the other end. She looked at her confused, as in the middle of them was a box… and her heart beat suddenly afraid, was she going to give back the necklace?

"You're finally up," the orange mare said quietly, looking at Dash's pink eyes with awake ones of her own and the Pegasus stirred slightly scared of what she knew this was about… what spilling her guts had gotten her.

"I'm sorry Applejack," Dash only said with wet eyes, tears forming in sadness of what she knew this was about, "I didn't mean what I said,"

"But you did," Applejack said softly, looking at Dash with a warm face, "And it's okay that you did."

"Are you returning the n-necklace…?" Dash asked, feeling so pitiful and Applejack just smiled, shaking her head… before falling completely silent for a few seconds.

And then she finally spoke,

"I didn't know how you felt," she said softly, being careful with her words, "I didn't understand why you stayed with me. It just… I couldn't understand."

She took a breath in, her own body still tired from the dawn, "I thought I was keeping ya here, that you felt like ya had ta stay… but I just couldn't admit the truth."

Dash looked at her confused, until the words were said so quietly,

"That I was afraid of you loving me… when I was so sure I didn't deserve it."

"AJ…?" the Pegasus said sadly.

"I'm sorry," Applejack only muttered, her voice becoming weak as she looked into those pink eyes, "I'm so sorry for what I did… f-for how I acted… what I put you through."

"You were sad…" Dash replied in a shaky voice, "You were too lost to see,"

"I thought that if you left me… it'd be better for you," Applejack admitted finally, her eyes becoming watery from tears of denial, "But I know now… I can never let you go,"

Dash watched slowly as AJ opened up the box, seeing a silver necklace with a pearl as it's pendulum and she looked up at Applejack confused, before the orange pony continued with a soft scared voice,

"My father gave my mother this when he told her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her."

Applejack looked slowly up from it to Dash, the Pegasus so quiet.

"I know that this might not be the best time… but I don't know what the future holds, and I want you to have it… if you still want me."

Rainbowdash didn't know how to get any words out. She just looked at the white pearl as it shimmered so brightly… not believing that Applejack had just given her this… that AJ had just said that she wanted to stay with her forever and she smiled, smiled in such happiness as she looked back up into those green eyes and muttered,

"You know I'll always want you, as long as I can breathe."

"Then can I ask you something," Applejack asked afraid and Dash looked at her quietly,

"Can I still marry you?"

The Pegasus gave a small smile, feeling her heart flutter in her chest like the first time she realized she loved her and she nodded her head, laughing and crying at the same time as she just lunged over the bed, hugging AJ so tight and said in happiness,

"Y-yes!"

Applejack smiled back in tears as she hugged Rainbow back tightly, never wanting to let her go but when the two both finally looked back into the other's eyes, she said.

"There's one thing I really want but,"

"What?" Dash asked as she pressed her face against hers in love… a feeling of joy of just being this close after so long and Applejack looked at her nervous as she said,

"I want your parents to be at the wedding… I want them to be there for you, like my family has been there for me."

Rainbow Dash grew silent… and only closed her eyes before finally saying,

"Okay… but on one condition."

"What?"

She smiled,

"The wedding is in a month."

XXXXX

It had been a week since the funeral.

Twilight walked around her house frustrated. Everything was so pointless now. Her magic was gone, her friends were gone. All the lessons she had learned meant nothing now when it felt like she had no one to turn too… Spike too young to understand fully how she felt and all her girlfriends just vanishing from her life.

It was like she was back in Canterlot, but there was no alternative now for her studies. For without magic… she could never be who she was… and never move forward, just stay put.

There was a knock on her door and she turned to it confused, saying,

"Come in,"

The door opened with magic and she shut her eyes quietly… she hated seeing any as it only reminded her of what she lost.

When she looked back up she saw Rarity and smiled bravely… but lost and frustration was all that plagued her mind these days and it always showed in her presence.

"Hey Rarity," she said tiredly and Rarity smiled a little shy… seeming unsure of herself before the white unicorn said,

"Hello Twilight… I just had a free day of work, and wanted to call in… I know I haven't been the best to keep in touch lately."

"It's fine…" Twilight said mannerly "we all haven't been the best for it."

"How are things with you? How's the studies been-" Rarity cut herself off quickly, smiling awkwardly and Twilight just sighed.

"No studies remember… these days I'm just trying to find a new calling, a new place."

"Well, I'd love for you to help me out sometime," Rarity said helpfully, "I do need a pony to do some research on the old fashion of Ponyville for me,"

"I can do that," Twilight said but didn't seem very enthusiastic about it and Rarity panted weakly adding,

"I feel like you've been avoiding us lately Twilight dear, if you'd like to ever talk… I'm only down the road."

"Yeah I know," Twilight said unhelpfully and Rarity gave a fake smile of calm as she added.

"I'd really like it if you came to a small dinner I'm having with the girls in a couple of days; we haven't all been together properly in so long."

Twilight looked at Rarity's big hoping eyes in silence… giving a sigh as she nodded her head… but still felt so empty in her friends' presence.

Yes, they had been trying to get back to how they used to be but it just seemed like whenever she was with any of them… all she felt was nothing… a connection that seemed to have been cut off from them… and hated to admit it was because she had cut it off.

She just couldn't feel that spark of friendship… as if once her magic had gone… her motivation to be with them had also dissipated. There was no more lessons to be learned, they were just five normal ponies to her.

"Yeah…" she said quietly as she looked in Rarity's eyes, "Yeah I'll be there."

"It's on Friday at seven." The white unicorn said with a smile "thank you, Twilight."

"It's fine, I'll see you then."

Rarity looked at her one more time before leaving the house and walking through town. It was a beautiful day, the weather so warm and calm and she stopped when she saw Pinkie coming her direction, smiling nervously as the pink pony caught a sight of her back and the two greeted each other awkwardly.

"Hello Pinkie, how are you?"

"Me, oh I'm fine." The pink mare said indifferent really to the question but smiled a little bigger as she added, "Actually… things have been pretty good."

"Why's that?"

"I've been seeing someone recently… and I feel like things are starting to look up,"

"Oh that's wonderful darling, who is it?"

"Lyra…" Pinkie said with a nervous grin and Rarity blinked her eyes a little worried.

"Well I hope you're taking it slow."

"We are, but I do want to tell others."

"Just be careful this time, Pinkie," Rarity said quietly with a little worry, "I just don't want you to be rushing into things and then getting heart broken."

Pinkie looked at her slowly when she heard this… she knew ponies were always a little more cautious around her, like she was a loose cannon and it made her feel angry that even her friends couldn't treat her like a competent pony.

"I'm not as stupid as I used to be, Rarity. I will be careful this time."

"Thank you," Rarity said with a soft voice and added a little unsure, "Will I be seeing you at my dinner?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," Pinkie said with a reassuring smile, "did the other girls agree to come?"

"All I have to ask now is Applejack and Rainbowdash… though I know things might be hard on them with Granny Smith gone now."

"I'm sure they'll come." Pinkie said with a happy smile, "I have to head back to Sugarcube Corner, see you soon,"

"Yes, bye dear," Rarity said and waved her hoof as the pink pony left her. Her blue eyes turned in the direction of the country side as she smiled nervously for the ponies she was next to visit.

XXXXX

She knocked on the door awkwardly, and when it opened she saw a tired Big Mac.

"Oh hello, Big Mac… how has it been?"

"Different…" he muttered and she nodded her head.

"Again I'm so sorry for your loss," she said trying to be kind to this family and the red stallion just nodded his head.

"Thank ya Rarity… but at least she lived to a good age."

"Can I see Applejack and Rainbowdash?" she asked hopefully and he nodded again, letting her in and she walked into the kitchen where Applejack was flattening doe with a rolling pin, the white unicorn blinking her eyes startled.

"You're able to cook again?"

AJ just smiled as she turned to Rarity.

"Well, I'm tryin'"

"How has the family been?"

"Applebloom's been quiet, Big Mac a little out of it… I've been fine the last few days."

"I can't imagine how it feels."

"All pain is imaginable…" Applejack just said with a weak smile and put the rolling pin down as she looked at her, "So why ya here?"

"I'd like it if you and Raindbowdash could attend a dinner I'm having with the other girls on Friday, a get together for us all."

"Sure we can make it," Applejack said warmly and Rarity gleamed delighted,

"Oh that would be so nice… it's not too soon for you? You know, with the mourning period?"

"Granny Smith would want me to be happy not sad," Applejack said with a smile, "anyway, me and Rainbow have somethin' we have ta tell you girls."

"What?" Rarity asked enticed by the news.

"We'll see you on Friday," Applejack said with a small laugh and flipped the doe over to roll the other side, Rarity given her a confused look and prepared to leave adding,

"Seven o clock."

"Alright," Applejack agreed and watched as the unicorn left. She smiled, looking back down to the doe and continued rolling…

Things were changing, and this time it might be for the better.

* * *

><p><strong>I wasn't gonna have an authors note but was like, eh why not? <strong>

**Authors note!**


	21. Part II chapter 7

She felt nervous coming to this get together… she really felt so out of place among the girls, all the things she had said in the past, all her actions to avoid since. But Twilight bucked up and put on a smile as Rarity opened the door.

"Twilight dear, it's so good to see you!"

"Yeah… you too," she said back with less enthusiasm and entered the house, following Rarity into her sitting room and seeing Fluttershy sitting down drinking some tea with a shy smile on her face.

"Oh T-twilight!" Fluttershy peeped a little excited, her tea cup jittering in her hoofs "I'm so happy to see y-you!"

"Yeah, I guess we didn't really get the chance to talk recently," Twilight said nervously and came over to the yellow Pegasus, sitting down slightly on edge and the two other ponies just looked at each other a little worried.

"So how are you?" Fluttershy asked quietly,

"I'm fine." Twilight said, she was getting a bit tired of ponies always asking her this, and her always having to lie to these two… but it was clear how she felt, the two girls couldn't ignore the tension that surrounded her.

"Okay," Fluttershy replied nervously with a scared smile and sipped her tea, Rarity calling to attention as the doorbell rang again and she quickly left to answer, leaving the quiet Fluttershy with Twilight.

The door opened and there stood Rainbow Dash and Applejack, bags swung over Dash's side and Rarity took a big sigh out showing them in,

"Come in girls, come in!" she said happily leading them to the lounge and moving some cushions over for a place for Applejack. AJ climbed shaking a bit onto the couch but Dash helped her and Applejack just smiled, saying wamly,

"Thanks,"

Dash smiled back as she sat down too. Applejack looked at Twilight a little nervous… remembering those words the unicorn had told her that had finally helped her realise the truth of her actions. But she also saw the hidden frustration that seethed from the mare and she didn't know in what words she could say… thank you.

"Now girls," Rarity said as she headed for the kitchen to stir the soup that was steaming on the stove, "Applejack and Rainbowdash have something to tell us tonight."

"Yeah," Dash said with a small smile as she looked at the girls, "but not until Pinkie comes,"

Somehow this whole scene seemed so familiar to Twilight, the girls gathering, an announcement to be made… it was only a year ago but she did not like the familiarity and what could come if history was to replay.

The girls all talked for a while, the only ones talking about their general day to day life being Fluttershy and Rarity… the only two that seemed to be living in a state of normality but they fear of lost contact with their friends seemed to seep through their talk.

Finally an interruption came as there was a quiet knock on the door and the girls all grew silent as Rarity led in an uneasy Pinkie Pie.

"Hey everyone," she said nervously and the girls all just welcomed her, Rarity rushing away to check on the dinner and Dash looked at Applejack quietly, asking her the question with her eyes and the orange may smiled, nodding her head.

"Err guys," Rainbowdash said with a smile, "We have something to tell you,"

"Rarity! We're ready!" AJ shouted to the kitchen and the white unicorn hurried in, beaming eagerly as she squeezed between Fluttershy and Twilight.

"Well…," Applejack said, looking at her friends and then looking at Dash who nodded with loving eyes, "We're… we're getting married."

The reaction was different for each pony.

Fluttershy just gleamed,

Rarity gasped.

Twilight only stared at them.

And Pinkie… just looked to the ground, her heart seeming to stop when she heard those words.

"Who proposed?" Rarity just burst out, eager to know who had popped the question and Dash and Applejack just laughed awkwardly.

"Well, I suppose I was the one," Dash said with a little laugh, the first time she did it not going well at all, none of the girls knowing this and the details of the whole proposal not really being gone over.

"I, I am so happy for you!" Fluttershy only squeaked so joyfully, and Dash grinned, opening her bags and adding to Rarity,

"Could you show them the necklaces?"

"Of course!" Rarity said eagerly, levitating the jewellery out and Twilight and Pinkie just stared at them quietly, the necklaces shimmering in the light.

"Oh they're beautiful," Fluttershy said as they sparkled in her eyes… Rarity being mesmerised by the jewels before asking,

"Who's is whose?"

"The gold one is AJ's, the silver one she gave to me," Dash said with so much joy that it spread to the other two mesmerised ponies and Applejack just nodded her head, only looking at Rainbow Dash with warm eyes… a future wedding needing to be mentioned,

"It's in three weeks,"

The girls all paused when she said this, Twilight's face literally looking dumbfounded by this decision and all the purple unicorn asked was,

"Why?"

"We just thought… with everything," AJ said quietly, looking more at Dash than the girls, and the blue Pegasus smiled back at her, "the future being so uncertain, it's better to do it now than in a year when things could be put in our way preventing it."

"Three weeks…?" Pinkie only said quietly to herself… this news not registering fully and she looked at Rainbow Dash and AJ in disbelief… it was all just… too soon,

"I have to go…" she said suddenly, surprising the girls as she quickly got up and Dash looked at her worried,

"What? But Darling you only just got here?" Rarity said confused and Pinkie just smiled with shaky lips.

"I just… have to go," she said and left, Applejack getting off her seat as she tried to follow her weakly, finally reaching outside and seeing Pinkie had already gone into the distance.

"Pinkie!" she yelled in a tired voice, "Please wait a second!"

Pinkie stopped in her step, she couldn't ignore that weak voice and sighed, turning back and looking at the panting pony.

"I'm sorry AJ, but can you see why I had to leave?" she said feeling pathetic and Applejack only looked at her, saying weakly,

"Rainbow told me what you did,"

Pinkie looked at her confused… feeling like she was being accused of something and added,

"What?"

"Stopped her from killing herself…"

The pink pony froze… a moment from so long ago, something she had forgotten and looked at Applejack quietly.

She asked,

"Why are you saying this?"

"I just want ta say… thank you."

"It's alright…" Pinkie said a little nervous. She never thought anyone would know, that no one needed to know. Dash had told Applejack… those two probably shared everything and she only felt like it really was time to go, not wanting to stay for the celebration, it just all… felt too soon.

"I really have to go," she said, taking a step away and Applejack just said.

"I'm sorry, Pinkie... I'm sorry for what happened to you."

"There's nothing to apologize for." Pinkie said with a weak smile, and walked away after that… Applejack watching her go and sighed, coming back inside to the noise and joy of her fiancé and her friends.

Though another pony remained separated from it all... a purple unicorn that felt after that night… she had finally arrived to her decision.

XXXXX

She didn't understand…

Dash had moved on and she could not deny that. That blue Pegasus was happy… her life was becoming whole again, her life going the way it was always meant to go,

Without her.

Pinkie was happy for Dash, she was… yet when she heard those words,

_We're getting married_

It made her see how little she had moved on with her life.

The less she saw of her, the better… but even though she was in a new relationship with a wonderful unicorn, she still had fear.

A fear that possessed her when she was around Lyra, afraid to let that mare know her completely. Afraid to tell her everything…

And afraid to admit to herself that the last relationship she had been in had made her scared of the new.

She sat on her bed… just thinking of the night of the party where she admitted to Dash that she loved her… an act of passion happening on this very bed… her first time, and her last time since.

She wanted to tell Lyra so much of who she was, how she felt… but the rejection was just something she feared so much.

The last time she told a pony her inner thoughts… leading to so much pain that had nearly made her take her life.

"Pinkie Pie!"

Her ears pricked as she heard Mr Cake call her name and she replied,

"Yes?"

"Lyra's here to see you,"

Her heart literally froze in its beat, as she quickly began to panic, the added words being,

"She's coming up!"

Before she had a second thought her door opened and in came the beautiful aqua coloured pony, looking at her with a shy smile and Pinkie smiled back nervously, a cold sweat running down her back.

"Hey Pinkie," Lyra said with a nervous smile as she stepped in and walked over to the bed, "You forgot to meet up with me for lunch today?"

"Oh you know me," Pinkie said quickly with a laugh, "Forgetful little ole' Pinkie,"

"Are things going okay?" Lyra asked a little afraid as she sat down beside her and Pinkie stiffened at the close proximity "I feel like you've been avoiding me?"

"What? No!" Pinkie quickly answered in defence but when she saw Lyra's warm smile, calmed down a little and just looked to her hoofs nervous of what to say.

"Wow," Lyra said as she looked around her, "I've never been in your room before… it's really cool,"

"It's okay," Pinkie said back quietly, "I know the pink is a little much to take,"

Lyra looked at her confused, examining her quietly and said, "I know something is wrong, you can tell me,"

"Can I?" Pinkie asked scared and Lyra pulled a more confused face. Pinkie sighed,

"I really like you Lyra… but the last time I let someone close to me, it didn't end well."

"But you know me," Lyra said a little upset to hear this, "You know I want to be there for you,"

Pinkie just felt her eyes water a little… she wanted to be close to Lyra, both emotionally and physically but the fear that this could all go terribly wrong scared her… she was just so afraid.

She felt lips press against hers softly, and pushed away weakly from Lyra, looking at her yellow eyes scared.

"I don't want to be hurt Lyra," she said weakly and Lyra just looked at her, replying softly,

"Neither do I,"

Pinkie looked at her confused… as if seeing something in Lyra's eyes that she had not seen before and felt their lips push against each other softly, their mouths joining in heavy heat as they kissed slowly and deeply,

They fell tenderly onto the bed, as they caressed each other gently, Pinkie feeling Lyra's kind and soft nature fill her with a emotion she was afraid to admit,

For admitting it would mean she was open to another feeling,

Hurt, if this didn't work out.

She felt Lyra press her mound against her gently as she rubbed against her in a light passion and Pinkie just pushed her away, rolling out from under her and Lyra just looked at her quietly.

Pinkie sat up on the bed and looked to the ground in tears…

"I'm sorry Lyra," she whispered, afraid to look her in the eyes, "I'm just not ready."

"That's okay," Lyra said as she came beside her and hugged her weakly, "It's okay."

"You make me happy," Pinkie added with a scared voice, and she looked her in the eyes, her own one's shining from tears,

"And that makes me afraid…"

"The only thing that'd make me afraid," Lyra said with a smile as she kissed Pinkie on the cheek, "Is if I wasn't making you happy at all."

Pinkie smiled at her weakly, looking into Lyra's amazing gold eyes… even though she was afraid, every second she was with her, it felt like she was becoming whole again and she hugged her back, whispering,

"Thank you."

XXXXX

AJ found herself always with the task of trying to do the small things… things which other's always did for her.

She was alone in the house, getting a cup for a drink of water but yet like always they were stacked up on the shelf, just out of easy reach.

She looked at them… the sun setting through the window gently and could hear the door open as Big Mac and Rainbowdash came in from the work.

She paused in her unsteady reach, as Rainbow came in the door and stopped when she saw Applejack shaking on three hoofs.

AJ smiled nervous, as she retrieved her hoof from the air saying, "Sorry,"

"No, you can do it…"

She looked at Dash confused… she knew Rainbow didn't like looking at her helpless but seeing those dark pink eyes watch her with assurance, Applejack continued and her legs buckled a little, Dash squinting in fear at the sight.

Applejack grabbed the cup and put it on the counter, catching herself from a near fall by placing her hoof quickly back on the ground and Rainbow Dash just looked at her quietly,

Saying bravely,

"I know you can do these things… I'm just here when you can't."

Applejack smiled at her, feeling like she was loving her a little bit more at that moment and muttered,

"I'm so glad I'm marrying you,"

"Well you are getting the best," Dash said with a wink and headed upstairs, AJ smiling but looked up at the hill in the distance… a feat that still seemed so unimaginable… but today… she was going to imagine.


	22. Part II chapter 8

The moon shone brightly into the room that night, Applejack looking through the window as she was held softly in Dash's hoofs… the hill in the distance and she turned her head, looking quietly at the clock seeing it say _three thirty_.

She took a gulp as she loosened herself from Rainbow's grip and put her hoofs unsteadily on the floor, stepping weakly out of the room and down the stairs.

When she reached the front door, she took a big breath… but she knew she would not be able to try this if Dash woke up… and she wanted to do this by herself.

She opened the door and stepped quietly out, looking to the hill and nodded her head. She began walking with all her might up the slope, her legs killing her from the faster pace than usual.

The moon shone down on her struggling body, hitting against her skin with the dark blue sky of night spreading all around.

She tried to take strong steps but only screamed in the pain… her body aching as she reached the first fifth of the hill, trees shadowing her but she would not give up.

She panted in exhaustion, sweat coming down her body from movement she so rarely was able for but she had to at least try…

And then she fell.

She hit the ground hard, her legs burning from pain, from the force she had exerted to reach the top and she lay there, trying to get up but couldn't.

She couldn't stand, no matter how hard she struggled… but she would never stop struggling until she made it and tried harder and harder to get up.

Her legs shook as she tried so much to stand… her two front legs buckling forward but she ignored it, even pain could be overcome… pain was never going to stop her, it wasn't going to make her ever stop trying! And with one last heave she stood on all fours, panting in exhaustion.

She was shaking with exhilaration, disbelief as she stood on her four legs… lifting herself up by her own strength… and smiled,

As she stared at the hill... and took another step.

XXXXX

Rainbowdash woke up wearily that morning as the alarm chimed from the clock, hitting it sleepily but when she rolled into Applejack she blinked slowly confused as the space beside her was empty and she jumped quickly, looking around the room and shouting,

"Applejack?"

She quickly got on her hoofs, leaving the room and running down stairs, checking the kitchen and sitting room before she turned to the front door,

Seeing in opened and swinging slightly from the wind.

She nearly lost her breath as she ran outside and took to the sky, shouting in fear,

"APPLEJACK!"

Why would she leave the house? What was she thinking and froze in the air as she finally spotted a pony sitting on the hill, flying down to her as fast as lightning and landing beside her in anger yelling,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? WHAT WERE YOU _THINKING_!"

"Rainbow," Applejack said tiredly and Dash just glared furious eyes at her,

"ARE YOU TRYING TO SCARE ME?"

"I did it," AJ only said with a smile, "I did it."

"Did what?" Dash asked still in anger but calmed down a little and only looked at Applejack lost.

"I made it here, by myself…"

Dash slowly began to realize where they were… where Applejack was and looked at her quietly, saying,

"You made it here… on your own?"

"YES!" Applejack only said in glee, "I made it by myself."

"Do you know how terrified I was when I woke up and found you weren't there?" Dash said quietly and Applejack just swallowed adding.

"I had to do this by myself… I know I should've told ya, but do ya know what this means to me?"

Dash looked at her still a bit upset but listened,

"I can gallop one day, run if I keep pushing myself! I can become strong again!"

"I know you can," Dash said, taking a breath in to regain herself and hugged her tight, "I always knew you could."

Applejack smiled in joy, but felt guilty how she wasn't telling the whole truth until Dash let go of her and looked to her legs… seeing them bruised and looked at Applejack in fear,

"AJ, please don't do this if it's hurting you," she said now in tears of worry and Applejack smiled weakly, looking into Dash's eyes as she held her.

"Pain doesn't hurt me, Rainbow…" she said in her honest truth, "Not trying is what will kill me… I have ta keep doing this, I have to keep going even if it hurts."

"Okay," Dash said, afraid of what she was hearing but knowing this is what Applejack wanted, "But tell me whenever you are going to do something like this, I'm serious."

"You can't help me when I struggle but," Applejack told her quietly and Dash pulled a distort look at that news, "Because I know I can do this. Do you know?"

Dash bit her lip awkwardly… she knew in her heart AJ would always be trying to regain control… she knew that she couldn't stop her even if she was in pain because then AJ would simply try without telling her and she nodded her head, but it hurt her always seeing her suffer.

"I know you can… but if it gets too much, stop."

"That's when I hav' to push harder."

"This is a partnership, Applejack." Dash said sternly, "This isn't about you anymore. It's about us. Promise."

AJ only sighed… why couldn't Dash see that the pain was nothing to her, only something she'd have to live with whether she tried or not and nodded her head a little fed up,

"Okay, I'll stop when it's too much."

"Thank you." Dash said glad she was able to have her say and the two looked down the hill to the house in the distance.

Applejack looked at Dash nervous to say but still did,

"I can make it down myself."

"Nope. You've done enough already. I'm flying you."

"No way of convincing ya? How do you get so good at getting your way?" AJ said with a weak fed up smile and Dash just grinned, taking her hoofs as she lifted them both off the ground.

"Well after living with you for so long I know how you work."

"That easy?"

Dash just chuckled landing them a few minutes later back to the farm as the morning finally dawned.

XXXXX

Twilight watched as the Pegasi carriage waited outside with the last of her things before hearing a disgruntled Spike say,

"Twilight, do you really have to go?"

"I do Spike, I just need to get away from this place… if things go alright at Cantelot I'll send for you"

"But no offense, I don't want to stay with Fluttershy." He grumbled annoyed and Twilight just sighed.

"She's the only one that would keep quiet about this, please Spike."

"Yeah, yeah I know…" he said fed up and went to leave the house, "But you better come back soon, remember the wedding's in only two weeks."

"Don't remind me…" Twilight said a little disheartened by that fact… one of the reasons she felt she had to go, knowing the moment she heard that news nothing mattered to her.

For if that news didn't even make her happy,

If being with her friends that night left her feeling nothing,

Then it was really time to move on… time to go home.

When Spike opened the door, he stumbled back startled as there stood Applejack, panting tiredly and he only left hesitant, Twilight looking at Applejack bewildered to see her without Dash and asked puzzled,

"AJ? Did you walk here?"

"Yep…" the orange mare just wheezed in exhaustion as she came in and sat down on the floor in tire, Twilight just looking confused before adding.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"I've been trying to get better… the last few days… I've been walking…"

"You know one in your condition shouldn't be doing this, you look terrible. Your body is shaking, your legs are all green and blue!"

"I came… to ask ya somethin'"

Twilight looked at her confused, quieting so she could hear.

"I know you hav' read everythin' on everythin'" Applejack said as she tried to regain her breath, "And it'd really mean a lot ta me… if you could perform the ceremony."

"What…?" Twilight said in disbelief… "You're not serious, are you?"

Applejack smiled, as she finally regained herself and looked at her with sincere eyes.

"Twilight, you were one of the ponies who opened my eyes… made me see it's not just about me. You were the one that saved me from death and helped me confront what I was doing. And I can't think of any other pony I respect enough to marry me and Rainbow."

"I…" Twilight said… biting her lip as she had to explain, "I can't."

Applejack looked at her confused,

"I'm leaving…"

AJ turned her head to the open door, seeing the carriage waiting outside and replied,

"Is that why those Pegasi are there?"

"Yes."

"Why are ya goin'?" she only asked confused.

"Because my time here is over."

"Your time here with us? Your friends?"

"You don't know how I feel."

"Don't you want to be there for us? The wedding? To see me run again?"

"C'mon AJ, do you really believe that?"

Applejack lost her breath when she heard those words and looked at Twilight hurt,

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm never going to be magic again and you are never going to get better. If you keep denying this all you'll have is anger! Anger that no matter how hard you try, you will never be the same!"

Applejack only stared at her in disbelief… seeing Twilight's rage and she hated that her whole body _was_ killing her from that walk, from every step she took.

But she responded.

"I know you're angry with how things are… I know you are hurting." She looked her dead in the eyes as she added hard "But I'll never stop trying."

"My carriage is waiting for me," Twilight said, ignoring Applejack's words as she went to the door, "I'm sorry… but sometimes it's easier to just move on… sometimes, you have to leave if it's too much."

"Please come to my wedding," Applejack said, "Please don't leave yet."

Twilight sighed… she didn't want to leave on a bad note… but knew her next two words were a lie,

"I'll try."

She left the building and Applejack walked in pain to the door, watching as Twilight got in the carriage and the Pegasi began to rise to the air.

If AJ listened to Twilight's words… if she believed for one second that this was all she would ever be, that this defined her… she knew she would not go on.

Her body had been killing her the last four days since that walk to the hill… the pain nearly becoming unimaginable as she kept on trying, but she couldn't give up.

For she had gotten back something she had lost.

Hope.

And she only hoped Twilight would get hers back too.

XXXXX

Crystal looked at her mail as she scooped it up with her mouth and headed back to her cloud kitchen. She placed it on the table and began looking through the letters but paused when she saw one with the return address and a name saying,

_Rainbow Dash_

She opened it quickly and looked at the letter… which wasn't a letter at all but an invitation.

A wedding invitation and she read the words quietly as they said,

_Applejack and Rainbowdash_

_cordially invite you to their wedding_

_On the fifteenth of June_

She listened quietly as her husband Solar Flare flew through the front door and she turned to him saying weakly,

"Solar, Dash is getting married."

Solar Flare looked at her a little confused but added unimpressed, "Right, so who's the unlucky colt?"

"Applejack." That name sounding a little too feminine that even when hearing it she knew it was a mare.

"He sounds kinda gay." Solar Flare muttered as he went to get something to eat.

"That's because he's a girl." Crystal said scared and Solar just glared suddenly at the letter, grabbing it off his wife and looking at the words.

"That little brat… she knew this would piss us off!"

"Honey, please… she might love her."

"No, Rainbow Dash is just trying to be a show off, trying to stand out in the crowd like usual!"

"I don't-"

"We'll show her… she wants to marry a bloody mare, than she doesn't want us there."

Crystal remained silent, shaking a little, as Solar Flare flew out of the house in anger and just looked back down at her daughter's wedding invitation.

Not knowing what she should do...

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, here's an update at the more usual time, I'll try update every three to four days like before. I guess there's not much to say about this chapter. Review and updates will be as usual. Bye! :)<br>**


	23. Part II chapter 9

Twilight peered down to the town in the distance as it began to fade the further and further she got away from it.

She remembered when she took her first journey to Ponyville, how it had filled her with frustration in having to make friends. She believed that it was pointless, a task… but then her heart had started to change, thinking her destiny was something she had never imagined.

But all her friendships had done was strip her of her very essence.

Her magic.

She took a breath out as the town disappeared and only faced onwards into the future. As before her it started to come closer, her birthplace, her city. Canterlot.

Her hoofs landed on the ground as she arrived to a beautiful house and knocked on the door quietly. It opened slowly and there stood Shining Armour, a smile on his face as he said happily.

"Little sis! It's great to see you again."

Twilight smiled, giving her brother a hug as the Pegasi helped carry her things in and she arrived into the home.

She felt peace… peace after so long, finally being away from that town which had taken all and when everything was put into the guestroom she came out, coming to the sitting room and seeing Shining Armour going through letter scrolls with his magic, as if preparing for another day.

"Got work?" Twilight said quietly and Shining Armour turned to her, a calm smile on his face saying casually,

"Yeah, I have to head down to the castle and do some duties. But I'll be home in a few hours and then we can hang like old times."

"How's married life?" Twilight said, sitting down on the lounge and picking up a book a bit dampened, Shining Armour just beaming,

"It's great Twi, the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Will Cadence be home soon?" she asked quietly and Shining Armour nodded,

"In an hour, she's just doing a bit of work for Celestia."

Twilight nodded her head… she was part of the royal family now… but she didn't feel it and watched as her brother headed out the door, saying to her,

"I'll be home soon."

She smiled weakly seeing him go, and sat on the lounge for a few minutes… adjusting.

She was going to be here for a few weeks until she got her own place set up, but feared the thought of going to her parents.

She looked out the window to the city before her. Looking at the stone buildings, the cement grounds and got up off her sit, leaving the house and visiting the city she grew up in, going for a walk.

It was a sunny day, the sky so blue and bright and she listened in her steps as ponies laughed around her, foals playing about, shops keeping stock, ponies living their day to day lives.

Moving about,

Laughter.

She looked at the hills in the distance, the flowerbeds along her path as she entered into the city's parks.

A fountain squirted sparkling water into the air, birds tweeted loud, and then she saw the building which had been her sanctuary so much when she was young.

The city library.

And stepped inside.

Around her stood book shelves, columns of books about anything and everything. One thing Ponyville never had, centuries of books… a history so vibrant.

She walked down the aisle, looking at the books that passed her eyes until she saw one with a name so presented,

_The journey._

She picked it up with her mouth, not knowing what it meant, what it was about but borrowed it out.

That night she lay awake in her room, her lamp letting in dim light as she read the pages, the story of a pony taken a path and walking it for weeks on end.

She read it during the day, she read it at the fountain getting splashed. She read it on the days that shined and the days that rained.

She read more books.

Read stories that had an end, stories that had discovery.

Ponies that did it. Ponies that made it.

She laughed with her brother, she went on walks with his wife.

She lay in the sun… she listened to her heart beat.

She was away from that town and was free.

She was free of the anger after so long… free of thoughts, free of the pain.

Time was nothing, it didn't exist. At this moment she was just glad she was away.

In a world where she didn't have to worry about ponies… a place where pain and lost was starting to fade. The girls not reminding her of what she had given up… AJ not reminding her of all she had lost.

It was a beautiful day, the fifth day of coming back to this city where Shining Armour came down stairs and kissed Cadance on the cheek, looking to his sister happily.

"Twi, good news, it's my day off."

"That's great Shining Armour."

"Do you wanna go for a walk today? So we can talk."

She looked at him with a smile, she was back in a place where there was no challenges, no heartache and replied.

"Sure, just let me finish this toast."

The two found each other strolling through the city, Twilight looking at the castle… remembering when she was her student… remembering the slight pain and turned away.

She had been escaping so much and needed to escape it all. She couldn't remember. She didn't want to remember.

"I'm so glad to see you happy," Shining Armour said as they walked, the sun shining down and lighting every spot of ground. Twilight tried to smile, she wanted the freedom to last and said.

"I'm trying to be."

"It must have been really hard, leaving your friends."

"They didn't feel like friends to me… at least not in the end."

"C'mon Twilight," Shining Armour said confused, "I never saw you so happy as at my wedding with those girls."

"Brother," Twilight said seriously, and they turned into the open land, leaving the stone and going onto grassy plains, "They were friends I was told to make… and I thought that's what I wanted, but it wasn't."

He looked at her sad hearing this.

"I don't regret making them… but I couldn't see any reason to stay… stay in a town where I had lost who I was."

"I think that town let you know who you were."

Twilight turned her quiet eyes to him, not wanting to listen, but she was in no fighting spirit.

"I lost my identity… my magic."

He sighed, "Twilight, you know you were so much more than just magic,"

She looked at him confused.

Shining Armour looked at her sadly.

"It makes me sad that you can't see that. That you can't see that it wasn't you, just a part of you."

"Magic is what gave me my path… my future, my destiny. To be the strongest. Without it I'm just-"

"You." Shining Armour said warmly and Twilight shook her head, "Listen to me Twi."

She didn't want to.

"You can't let one thing define you. Let it make you see you can never be something else. When you had magic you didn't care about much but study, learning… you would rather do spells than talk to others. I was afraid that you would see that's all you were."

He looked at her deeply,

"But when Celestia sent you away to Ponyville, when you made friends… I was so happy to believe you discovered you were so much more than just magic."

He took a breath out, looking at her with pride,

"And when you gave it up to save that girl… I thought you had finally learned it and knew you could be without it. That it wasn't you anymore."

"Than what am I?" Twilight asked then and there… not wanting to hear this… not seeing herself as a hero but a victim of what she had done, "What am I?"

"You…" Shining Armour said with all his heart and stopped, the two walking far into the country now and looking back at the city, Twilight feeling tears rise to her eyes but her brother wiped them and said in a clear voice.

One of truth.

"Twilight. Magic never defined you. _You_ define you."

She just cried… cried hard as she stood alone in the path she had chosen to take… everything she had chosen to just give up on.

For something that was never her, something that should of never controlled her.

A piece of her which didn't make up her puzzle, but which she had put on a platter ignoring all she was,

The pony she was…

The pony she was now… one that had denied she was so much more.

"Twilight," Shining Armour said softly, patting his sister on the back… helping her understand this and nothing else.

"When's the wedding?"

"Tomorrow…" she said, trying to wipe away the tears "But could they ever forgive me? How do I know things can be the same? How do I know we can make it? How do I know I haven't ruined it all?"

"Because true friends forgive." Shining Armour said with a warm smile, "True friends are there for life."

Twilight listened to those words and knew she had only been the opposite… because she had not known what they were to her and looked into the horizon… Ponyville in the distance and knew where she had to go… the path still waiting to be taken.

XXXXX

Applejack was in her room, her mother's necklace in the box on her bed as she stood before the mirror in a white gown, she never thought she would look good in one.

Her heart was beating slow, her body aching from pain but she could ignore all that and look at the mare… a pony that looked like she belonged in a fairy tale… but one set in the real world, with real emotions.

She knew she looked beautiful… she knew she looked like an angel… but she knew she was also just a pony… doing the one thing she had to to survive.

Move forward.

And it scared her.

Dash was staying at Fluttershy's and she wish she was here with her, reminding her why she was doing this, why she was taking this step.

It was a stupid tradition, the couple getting married being separated the night before the wedding… making her have doubt, have fear.

There was a knock on the door and she turned to it, muttering,

"Come in."

The door opened and Big Mac stood before it in amaze, his sister looking like a princess and said nervously,

"You not asleep yet?"

"No… just tryin' on the dress one more time."

"I, came to ask ya sumthin'"

Applejack looked at him confused to his nervousness, but replied calmly,

"Shoot,"

Big Mac seemed to hesitate, rolling his hoof on the ground as if he seemed afraid to say and Applejack just stared at him quietly, waiting.

"I… I know ya hav' gotten Celestia ta agree to say the ceremony." Big Mac said quietly but looked his sister in the eyes, "But I was jus' wonderin'… if it weren't too late… I'd like to be the one… to marry you two."

Applejack just smirked, shaking her head softly in a bit of laughter,

"Why'd ya leave it for tonight to ask?"

"Been busy with work…" Big Mac lied nervously and AJ just smiled, taking a small step toward her brother.

"Yes."

He looked up at her quietly, his face going blank as if in disbelief before he uttered, "…really?"

"I'd love you to be the one, Big Mac… just don't go rambling on like ya usually do." She joked.

He smiled at her in happiness, going over and hugging his sister tight… and after that went to go his own way but turned saying,

"You know… ya look like mum in that dress."

Applejack smiled slowly, nodding her head gently and her brother smiled to her one more time before leaving the room and AJ turned back to the mirror.

Swallowing slowly.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, this was a total brother sister chapter wasn't it? I'm glad with how it turned out but it was just nice writing it. Stay tuned! <strong>

**Oh and if you want to hear a pony song that has been reminding me of this second part, here is it's url for youtube  
><strong>

** watch?v=zMBLurpskoU&feature=BFa&list=PL47C2EFDDA3C3095A&shuffle=957576**

**When I listen to it I just think of this story, put it in the url and you should be able to view it.**

**Bye!**

**Feeling Grand!**


	24. Part II chapter 10

**Well here's the last chapter. It's always sad when a story comes to an end, but at least I got it to where I wanted it to go and that's all that matters. I hope you enjoyed the story. Bye :)  
><strong>

* * *

><p>The day of the wedding.<p>

It was on a Saturday of course. The sun was golden white as it hit the earth and awoke every pony. Rainbowdash woke up in a foreign bed and looked tiredly out of the window, her dark pink eyes becoming alive.

Twilight got in the Pegasi carriage, able to get one at last and told them to fly fast.

Pinkie slowly opened her eyes and smiled, seeing a beautiful unicorn beside her, still sleeping in peace.

Applejack just sat up in her bed… her heart beating hard, her breath heavy and scared as she saw her reflection in the mirror…

And saw a pony who was not ready

XXXXX

The day came into full force as every pony started to walk their fate for the day, a fate that would lead all to the same place. That would end their story.

Fluttershy helped Dash into her dress, Rarity coming by to do the makeup and prepare herself and Shy for the day as well.

Rainbowdash just looked there at her reflection, startled by the transformation.

She looked like… a girl?

She smiled as she watched her two bridesmaids hurry up and get ready too, the day getting brighter and brighter till it blinded the eyes with light.

XXXXX

"How much longer?" Twilight said worried as she saw the sun's position indicate it was ten. She leaned over the carriage frustrated only to hear a Pegasus reply,

"Another two hours ma'am"

Twilight sighed, sinking back into her chair… the wedding was starting at twelve.

XXXXX

"Hey Applejack, you ready?"

Applebloom came bouncing into the room, a happy smile on her face but froze when she saw her sister still in bed, looking at her confused.

"Applejack? The wedding's in an hour and a half?"

Applejack looked to her, taking a breath out as she said nervous,

"I know, I'm just tired…"

"Well stop bein' tired, you gotta get up!" Applebloom said quickly and rushed over to her, pulling her by the hoof to get her up.

"Doesn't it all seem too soon but?" AJ said fast as she fell forward onto her hoofs, and Applebloom headed to get her dress that was hanging up on the door, "I mean, it was only four weeks ago that Granny di-"

She caught herself short when she saw her sister's face and just sighed, letting Applebloom dress her before her sister said with a smile,

"There, now you look like a princess."

"I don't feel like one though,"

"C'mon, we gotta get heading to the ceremony,"

"Can ya just wait a second outside… I wanna take one last look at myself,"

Applebloom looked at her confused, muttering quietly "Okay…" before leaving the room and the door closed with a strong pull behind her.

AJ nearly felt herself collapse as she fell on the ground… breathing quickly in panic of what she was expected to do.

Walk down that aisle, live out this fairy tale. Do something which was meant to make her happy but now only made her frightened… unsure.

She just wanted that old mare to tell her what to do, tell her she was walking the right path, that this was meant for her… but her grandma was gone.

She tried to catch her breath as she panted fast, and whispered in tears,

"Granny… I don't know w-what I'm doin'…" she saw the reflection of a distort pony in the mirror, and only shun away crying,

"I don't know how I got myself here… and I don't know if I won't just ruin… everythin'"

She sat there, panting heavily, trying to regain her breath but just kept losing it… how come on the happiest day of her life,

she felt so alone…

XXXXX

Unicorns helped levitate the last of the flower streamers across the outside chapel, Big Mac rehearsing his lines in panic while other ponies sat themselves down on either side of the aisle, talking quietly and awaiting the wedding where the first two mares of the town were getting married.

Some just came because they wanted to see some girl on girl action, though they were the few, where most who came were from the Apple clan, some ponies asking why there was none from the other bride's side.

"Where are they?" Big Macintosh said to himself worried as he saw the time hit eleven thirty… half an hour till the whole show began and yet none of the bridesmaids had turned up and not a single bride had been seen.

XXXXX

"Applejack, I gotta leave for the wedding now,"

Applejack looked up as she heard her sister call to her from behind the door,

"You can make it yourself can't ya?"

"Yeah," she said, getting a grip as she took a breath and stood up, "I'm comin' with ya, just wait,"

She walked on quivering legs as she came out and her little sister looked at her surprise.

"Applejack, were ya crying?"

"It's just such a beautiful day," she lied, wiping away the last of her red eyes quickly and her sister just gave an inquisitive face, seeming to suspect more than what she was told and as the two left the house, taking the small journey to the field she said,

"There's no need ta be scared, sis… ya just get up there, say your lines and bow. Just like in a school play."

"Yeah, except a school play ends after that…" Applejack replied back scared, "Marriage changes everythin'"

"Yeah, but for the better!" Applebloom said and AJ tried to put on a happy face but her legs had started playing up as pain struck hard in her knees and she slowed her already mild pace, taking heavy breaths as she finally arrived at her destination, seeing Fluttershy and Rarity had arrived and were chatting excitedly to each other, but stopped in glee as they saw AJ and surrounded her, admiring her dress.

"Oh Applejack, you look so beautiful" Fluttershy squeaked, Rarity using her magic to fix up AJ's hair with a comb. A large portable wall hid them from view of the chapel, as guests waited in silence now for the wedding to commence, already five to twelve.

"Are you excited?" the yellow Pegasus asked quickly and AJ just pulled a strained smile replying,

"My heart's beating eighty miles an hour."

"Oh nothing to be worried about dear," Rarity said as she patted blush on AJ's cheeks and the orange pony stepped back coughing from the powder, "Just remember that this is the most important day of your life and everyone will be watching."

"Yay…?" Applejack said in a lost breath.

"Me and Fluttershy have to head up now, but when Mr. Cake gives you the cue, you have to go up- but not before Rainbow Dash or Applebloom."

"And that's it?" Applejack asked quickly, hoping this was so much simpler than what she had thought.

"Of course dear, see you shortly!" Rarity chimed and her and Fluttershy left, Applebloom and AJ only looking at each other quietly.

"I still think I should hav' been a bridesmaid," Applebloom said disappointedly.

"You were a flower girl at Shining Armour's wedding?" AJ said a bit confused and her little sister only nodded,

"I know, but how many eleven year olds can say they were a bridesmaid?"

"Applebloom, you gotta go,"

The two looked quickly across as Mr Cake nudged his head for the filly to begin her walk and Applebloom picked up her basket, leaving the preparation area and doing her part.

Applejack just sat there freaking out, she was the last one left to take the walk and fell on the ground again, beginning to hyperventilate at an occasion where she was meant to be perfect.

"You okay, dear?"

She looked up quickly, seeing a light purple Pegasus before her, a white and blue mane parting down her head.

"No…" AJ admitted to this stranger… "I'm not ready for this…"

"Are you sure?"

"No… it just seems too soon."

The pony sat down beside her, patting her on the back as she said weakly,

"I know it seems big… but that's because it is. Don't you love this mare?"

"More than life."

"Than what are you worried about?"

Applejack looked at this Pegasus confused… this pony she had never seen before and muttered.

"I don't know."

"That girl is beautiful, and you are lucky to have her… just please never hurt her for reasons you don't know yourself."

"Applejack, time to go!"

AJ just stared at the Pegasus, as the older mare helped her get up and AJ asked before she began her wedding walk,

"How do you know Rainbow anyway?"

The purple Pegasus smiled warmly, saying in proud words,

"She's my daughter."

Applejack nearly tripped on her legs hearing this but stood up straight and began her walk.

That was Dash's mother? Her parents did come?

She dodged her eyes from side to side as she saw ponies looking at her with smiles, watching her go down the aisle until she looked ahead and saw her bride, waiting at the top with an eager look in her eyes, Dash waiting for her future wife.

Twilight pushed quietly through the crowd, she looked through a gap as the orange mare past her… still feeling scared she had made it.

Applejack was a slow walker, but the pain didn't even feel like it was there that much and she reached the alter, standing opposite Dash who smiled at her in love.

"Dear ponies," Big Mac began, "We hav' gathered here today ta honour the marriage of my sister Applejack and the fastest flyer in Equestria, Rainbow Dash."

Applejack rolled her eyes whereas Dash just gave a small chuckle.

The two mares seemed to only half listen to the words, as Dash only looked at her bride and mouthed the words _you look beautiful_,

AJ smiled replying back, _you too._

Dash couldn't believe this day had finally come… she had had a terrible dream the night before that she had just stood here waiting… waiting for no one, and it had made her a little antsy today but when she saw Applejack walking up the aisle, she had forgotten everything… and now just looked at her, as apple trees surrounded them, the sun hitting down on them… she knew she was getting the ending she deserved.

"Applejack, do you take Rainbow Dash to be your wife, to love and behold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

"I do."

Dash smiled hearing that, and waited for her part, her promise.

"Rainbow Dash, do you take Applejack to be your wife, to love and behold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

"Yes," she said and looked at Applejack, certainty since the day she had first loved her "Yes I do,"

"I now pronounce ya wife and wife… you may kiss the bride" Big Mac said and stood back, Dash stepping forward and reached her hoof to Applejack's face,

Their lips met in a kiss that felt like home… felt like a little bit of magic, a warm place, before they separated,

And ponies began to hit their hooves on the ground clapping…

Everything else seeming like someone else's happy ending as the reception came in half an hour's time, an outdoor reception with food being laid out on tables and ponies coming to congratulate the newlyweds, Applejack and Rainbowdash just standing there dazed.

"Can you believe it happened?" Dash whispered to Applejack with a giggle and AJ just looked at her with a grin,

"I can't believe it happened with you,"

The two laughed quietly as they stood hugging ponies that came to give their best wishes and AJ looked at Dash a little nervous as she asked,

"See anyone from your past here?"

"Like who?"

"Mum or Dad?"

Dash looked down to the ground… she didn't want to think about them and mumbled "I knew they wouldn't come… but it doesn't matter," she said as she placed her hoof over her wife's "It's still perfect."

"Rainbow Dash?"

She looked up and saw her… the weak mother figure she didn't even expect to show up and said surprised,

"Mum?"

Crystal came forward, asking afraid "Can I wish my daughter… a happy marriage?"

"Mum," Dash said confused as she came over to her, pulling her aside and asking confused "What are you doing here?"

"I could never miss my daughter's wedding." She said quietly in tears, "Your father couldn't make it."

Dash knew that was a lie "…why are you protecting him? You know he didn't want to come… why are you still with him?"

Applejack felt a weak poke on her shoulder and turned, seeing Twilight behind her and said a little taken back,

"You're here?"

"I couldn't miss your wedding."

"What changed?" AJ only asked lost, looking at a different unicorn than the one that left… a unicorn with a smile on her face,

"Me."

She gave Applejack a hug, "You and Rainbow Dash looked beautiful up there,"

"Yeah… but I can't wait to get this dress off me," AJ kidded, and Twilight laughed.

"Can I ask you one thing, AJ?" She said and Applejack looked at her, listening.

"Are you happy?"

AJ looked at her a little surprised to hear this… but remembered when that unicorn had asked her the same question two months ago and smiled.

"Yes… I really am."

"I'm glad." Twilight said and looked in the distance to Fluttershy and Rarity, "I'm gonna go mingle."

"Don't forget to try the cake," Applejack said with a chuckle, watching her friend leave and looked back to her bride… her wife.

"Why do you stick up for him, mum?" Dash asked angry, "Why do you let him hurt you?"

Crystal was looking to the ground in shame and responded quietly,

"When you love someone… it hurts more to be away from them than it does to be with them."

Dash looked at her quietly, confused… so lost in what her mother meant and Crystal just smiled saying,

"Come on… let's just enjoy the wedding, just be with your brimming bride."

"Mum… I don't like how you do this to yourself," Dash said hurt, Crystal trying to put on a happy face "But thank you for coming."

"It's okay," Crystal said quietly and Dash hugged her, before going back to Applejack and the purple Pegasus just disappeared amongst the ponies.

XXXXX

The day soon turned into evening and the two newlyweds sat talking and eating cake, looking over at the crowd and Dash spotted Pinkie, laughing and messing about with Lyra and looked at Applejack confused,

"Are those two…?"

"Yeah, Rarity told me," Applejack answered looking at the two mares who were feeding each other cake playfully and Dash just smiled.

"I didn't even realise,"

"Well your head has been up in the clouds the last month," Applejack said with a smile and Dash nudged her playfully.

"The carriage is going to be here soon," she added, looking at AJ quietly and the sun setting in the distance, their necklaces shimmering in the light "Are you ready for this trip?"

"It's only two days… and I haven't been to any place new in over a year, so yeah… I'm ready." She said smiling and Dash rubbed her face against hers with a giggle,

They watched as the carriage arrived ten minutes later and confetti was thrown signalling them off, ponies cheering and Applejack looked behind her… seeing Apple acres leave her sight… her friends and family leaving her as she began a vacation which would let her forget all for a couple of days.

It was such a long journey… leaving the land and heading toward the sea.

A foreign door being opened as they entered into the hotel room that dark night. Brown stone brick walls, wooden borders, a large balcony overlooking the sea and town and Applejack undressed back into her natural state as Dash looked outside to the shimmering sea… a sight not often seen in her life.

"You should really see this," she said to Applejack who walked over slowly… her body worn and tired but she looked across the balcony and saw the bright moon light up the water.

"Did I ever tell ya I can't swim," she joked and Dash chuckled, getting off the ground and into the air as she did a quick survey of the area and came back.

"I saw some ponies setting up fireworks… we could go walking on the beach tomorrow."

"Okay… but why don't we do something else tonight," AJ teased and Dash smiled coming back into the room. The two headed to the bed, laying down and looked at each other silently. Dash lifted Applejack's necklace up with her hoof, looking at it quietly.

"Did you think we'd make it this far?" she asked nervously and AJ just grinned, kissing Dash then and there, the Pegasus kissing her back eagerly as they held each other in a tight embrace, AJ pulling Dash on top of her and feeling her tongue invade her wife's mouth,

But when she squinted from slight pain Dash lifted her weight off her quickly saying,

"Sorry! Are you okay?"

"You won't hurt me…" she replied, caressing her love's cheek with her hoof gently, "Don't be afraid,"

"But I will hurt you…" Dash said worried and AJ closed her eyes, shaking her head.

"I may always have pain…" she said and looked her back deeply into the eyes,

"but that shouldn't mean I can never have this."

Dash lowered her eyes… she wanted to give it to her… she wanted to do it on their wedding night and only nodded, lowering back onto Applejack and began kissing her again… putting pressure on their bodies and she pushed hard against her,

And Applejack felt everything slow as for that minute… the pain left.

Her body felt like it had gone numb… looking up at Rainbow quietly… not feeling anything that hurt her… not feeling soreness for that minute… her body frozen.

Before an explosion blew through her, fireworks making loud banging noises outside as they blew wind through the balcony door, lighting up the sky in millions of sparkles… the night being lit up with light.

And it was over as soon as it came.

AJ lay there panting as Dash rolled off her, holding her tight… their hearts beating fast… her body beginning to slowly bring back pain but she looked across her to Dash and whispered,

"Thank you,"

"I love you… Applejack," Dash panted and Applejack felt her rest her head against her own… looking out at the ocean and said quietly,

"I love you too, Rainbow..."

XXXXX

It was early dawn… six o clock.

The sky was orange red, pink clouds low to the sea as two ponies walked the sandy shores… the water touching their hoofs gently as a new day was being born.

A new day for a new life.

"I've never walked on sand before…"

Applejack looked to Dash confused when she heard this,

"Not ever?"

"No," Dash said weakly and felt AJ splash her with a bit of water, the Pegasus doing a big jump into the waves and splashing water all over her partner.

AJ smiled, and looked ahead of her to a branch in the distance, nudging Dash and saying,

"I bet I could race ya to that stick."

"AJ…" Dash said slowly, not liking to hear that talk and the country pony just smiled,

"C'mon… just give me a chance?"

"Okay," Dash said weakly and the two prepared for the start off, "But I'll go easy on you,"

"You won't have to."

"Ready," Dash said quietly "One… two… three!"

She galloped ahead, Applejack reaching her legs forward,

As they hit the sand… as the pain hit from the force,

And she ran.

She galloped, her bones striking up agony, her body killing her from the force but she continued to run, run as fast as she could till she reached by Dash's side and ran with her.

The stick came towards her and then past her… she just kept running.

The pain was still there… the pain could be always there but it didn't matter.

She could run… and she'd keep on running till she fell.

She'd keep on running till she died.

For only one thing mattered… the one thing she never believed she could do again.

That she could run again.

She... could run.

And she began to pant, slowing down as Dash stopped beside her and smiled.

"You win."

"Only..." Applejack gasped, her legs shaking but looked at her with a grin, "Only if you can catch me,"

Taking off again and Rainbow Dash followed laughing, the two running onwards into the new dawning day,

Onwards into their future...

The End


	25. Part 3

**P****art 3**_  
><em>

_I can't live without you…_

Her eyes stirred, the feeling of warmth from the blankets heating her tired body.

A body worn from work.

Six months… six months of getting stronger… her body coping with what it had been given, getting strength back in its legs... pushing the limits until she could run.

Pushing the limits until she could buck again.

Her eyes stirred.

She opened them weakly, seeing pink eyes looking at her with a smile and she yawned, dimness covering the room before she said sleepily.

"We spend too much time in this bed."

"Why you say that?" Dash asked quietly with a grin.

"Because we do," AJ replied sleepily as she stretched and sat up, looking at the twilight of outside and how the sun had just set,

"How… how long was I asleep for?"

Dash smiled as she sat up too, the lamp beside the bed letting in little light but not enough to cast away the shadows.

"I only came in five minutes ago, but its six o clock now."

"It was only meant to be a nap… three hours… god." She said wrecked as she felt her head and then the dream came back into her thoughts, those words the last thing she heard before she woke up.

_Can't_

_Live _

_Without _

_You_

"You okay, AJ?"

She stopped, looking back at Dash who was looking at her confused.

"You just suddenly looked quite sullen."

"Oh… yeah, I'm fine… just thinking of all that work I wasted."

"You think you're working but all you do is hold us back." Dash teased and Applejack pulled a smile.

"Hey, I was bucking trees long before ya and will be doin' it long after ya."

"Yeah… keep telling yourself that." Dash said with a grin and AJ just rolled her eyes, looking at her with a smile as she noticed the pearl necklace shimmering from the lamp.

"Ever worry about that breaking? You wear it constantly."

"Yeah, and you don't wear yours enough." Dash answered back with a laugh.

"It just… sometimes I worry about losing it, that's all."

"Well you know the best place to keep it safe?"

Applejack looked at her questioningly before Dash replied quite bluntly.

"Your neck."

"Never mind…" Applejack said tiredly as she got out of bed, stretching her worn body and getting ready to head downstairs but heard Dash say just as she reached the door.

"Did you hear the good news?"

"What?" she asked listening tiredly.

"The Cake's are having another foal."

Applejack paused when she heard this… children… she never liked talking about them… even if it was about someone else's.

"They're way ahead of us," Dash joked as she flew off the bed and pushed opened the door, the quiet Applejack standing there in silence as her wife disappeared down the stairs and muttered.

"Yeah…"

Dinner was full of nose and talk as Dash messed about with Applebloom and hot grass soup was reheated on the stove from the earlier meal.

Applejack tried to laugh and joke with the others but the thoughts of the future entered her mind…

She was infertile now…

The doctors had told her that too much stress on her body would kill her and that bearing children was impossible.

But she and Dash had never talked about it… probably because both of them thought there was no point.

She was only twenty three now but felt so much older, so much wiser than her old self from only two years ago.

Even if it was impossible… it should still be discussed.

Even though she knew the subject might just bring back old memories… she had to know how Dash felt about it.

XXXX

She lay in bed that night, waiting for Dash to come in from washing up so she could ask… her quiet attitude seeming to not have been noticed at supper but she still had to talk.

The lamp was on dimly, the room quiet and feeling so empty till the door finally opened and Dash came in, getting in bed and was about to turn the light off but heard Applejack say,

"Rainbow…"

"Yeah?" she said confused, looking at her still much awake and Applejack took a breath.

"We've never really talked about one subject."

"What? Our family's health history?" Dash said randomly with a laugh and Applejack looked at her confused, "I've been reading the newspaper."

"No." Applejack said and sat up straighter, "Children… we've never really talked about it."

"Oh… yeah." Dash said with a nervous laugh, "But why would we? We're still young."

"I know… but shouldn't we talk about it? I don't even know how ya feel about the subject…"

"I feel fine." Dash said a little slowly, as if she didn't want to talk about it, "I just didn't want to upset you by really discussing it."

"Well do ya want kids?" Applejack asked, "In the future? Adoption?"

Rainbow Dash grew quiet, looking down to the bed and Applejack wish she could read her mind to know what was happening in that head.

"I did…" Dash finally said, seeming like this subject had been left long ago in the past, "But I always figured we had too many responsibilities with this family to really have one of our own."

Applejack looked at her confused, "You mean my family?"

"No, this is my family too, but I figured our life was sorted."

"We can hav' children one day… maybe in a few years, you know things will change when Applebloom leaves one day."

"You think she'll leave?"

"Yeah, I think she will."

Dash seemed to grow quiet again and Applejack looked at her confused… something else in that pegsus's thoughts.

"What's wrong?"

"I love kids," Dash said quietly, her eyes dashing back and forth from Applejack's, "But… I don't want someone else's."

Applejack looked at her a little surprised.

"What's wrong with someone else's?"

"It's not mine…" Dash said seeming a bit shy about saying that, "and it's not yours."

"Family isn't just in blood."

"But if I looked at that foal… I wouldn't see you in it. And if I can't have a child that is a part of you… I don't really want one."

Applejack looked at her confused… she never knew Rainbow felt this way.

The door had never been closed properly and Big Mac stood outside it, listening to the conversation but felt after he heard that bit, he should really stop.

He often had thoughts of how the married couple found it living here on the farm… with them, him and Applebloom but he had never thought talks of the future would ever happen… maybe he had just been living in denial.

He walked off in silence but just remembered what Dash's last words were.

And Applejack was still remaining quiet after hearing that… before finally replying.

"You really feel that?"

"Yeah… kids have always kinder been off the picture since what happened." She said quietly "When you first told me you were pregnant… I wasn't happy… but I could live with knowing the baby would still have a part of you in it…" she became quiet as she added,

"but I don't want to have any child if it isn't yours."

Applejack looked away… not knowing really how to feel… and what Rainbow Dash was basically giving up because of her.

"Okay…" she said feeling like she shouldn't say anymore and lay down, facing away from Dash in silence but heard a voice say,

"I love you.."

"Yeah…" Applejack said, not knowing how to respond and just added with barely a voice, "I love you too."

XXXXX

It was sunny the next day, sunny and warm and the family got to work harvesting the trees, planting new ones where old ones had died and carrying carts of apples to the storage room.

Applejack sat in the field, watching her family hard at work as she took a break for herself, always needing to take more than the others because of how she was.

"Hit it into the basket!" she heard Rainbow Dash call to Applebloom as she flew high up in the air and threw apples down, Applebloom hitting them with her tail into the baskets on the ground.

Applejack knew she should stop thinking about what Rainbow had said and try and enjoy the weather but she had a foreboding and didn't know why.

Life was full of changes and ignoring this one forever just because she couldn't give Dash a part of her… it made her sad.

"Nice hit Applebloom!"

"Learning from the master!" the young pony called back up to Dash with a beam and AJ just gave a small smile, steadying herself back on her legs as she got up and went back to them.

"C'mon, back to work." She said with a grin as she walked between the two and Applebloom sighed replying.

"Yes mum."

Knowing she would annoy her sister with that remark and Applejack pulled a disapproving face as her sister trotted away, looking up at Rainbow Dash and saying.

"She takes too much off of you."

"Hey, she's growing up, she's going to get a little attitude."

"Yeah, yeah." AJ said as she picked up some of the missed apples off the ground and placed them in a basket, "C'mon back to work."

"Do you want to have a go?"

She looked up at Dash hearing that… her body still feeling tired and saw the blue pony smile at her, apples being held in the sling bags on her sides and Applejack felt unsure really in what to say.

"I don't know, we really shouldn't be messin' with autumn midway through."

"Yeah, and the same excuse as last month."

Applejack looked around nervous… she could run when she needed to, buck just enough to be of help but physical play she had been missing because she just didn't want to push her luck.

She saw the blue pegasus waiting and smiled saying bravely.

"Sure, throw it to me."

Dash retrieved an apple from her bag and spun it around with her hoof before tossing it toward her, Applejack doing a jump bouncing it hard off her flank but when she landed her knees buckled and she fell, holding back the yelp but forced herself to get up before Dash could help and pulled a fake smile saying.

"Good throw."

"You okay?"

"Me, yeah." Applejack lied and looked to where her apple had fallen, "Damn, loss of practice."

"You'll get it back." Dash said with a wink and AJ smiled, picking up a few more apples and putting them in the basket.

"You have all the time in the world."

XXXXX

The house creaked of nose as ponies talked and chattered within the walls.

Food stored in the cupboards, laughter, life.

Big Mac came into the house with letters in his mouth, dropping them on the table in the kitchen and Applejack came in in a few minutes to go through them.

She looked at one confused, seeing the name of her wife and the return address with a unfamiliar one.

_Crystal_

"Rainbow?"

There was silence before a voice called back,

"Yeah?"

"You have a letter!"

The pegasus entered the room confused. She rarely got mail.

She tore it open with her mouth and placed it on the table, reading through the words quickly but her eyes seemed to slow down the pace, as she soon realized what it was about and took it in her mouth, leaving.

"Who was it from?"

Applejack stood there confused… what was that about?

She looked at the envelope that had been left on the ground, seeing the name and thinking who this pony could be.

The house seemed to grow silent for a few minutes.

Or maybe it was just her mind.

Before she heard Applebloom laughing with her brother and AJ just walked across the ground, picking up the envelope and taking it up to her room.

She would find out what this was about later.


	26. Part 3 chapter 2

The night brought upon a small chill, some clouds covering patches of the black sky but a few stars could be found peeping through.

Dash just sat out in the grass, looking down at the letter in the darkness and sighed…

Why did this have to happen.

"Hey…"

She looked to her side, seeing an orange pony approach and sit on the soft grass beside her, a smile on her face as she asked.

"What's the letter about?"

"It's from my mum…" Dash muttered, pushing it away with a sigh and Applejack looked at her quietly.

"Crystal… really pretty name."

"Yeah, but… here." She said pushing the letter to Applejack and she could barely make out the words, but light from the house behind them helped and she read it quietly.

She paused, before looking back at Rainbow and said,

"She had an accident."

"Her leg is broken…one of her wings… I wonder _who_ caused that." Dash said spitefully and Applejack looked at her confused.

"What are you saying?"

"Solar… the biggest Dick on four legs."

"Did she say he did this?"

"No… but it was him." She said quietly and took a breath out, "She's stuck in those clouds, not able to do anything and needs help."

She looked at Applejack, hating that she had to say this,

"She wants me to come home."

Applejack looked back into her eyes quietly… taking in the news and saw the dismay in her wife, so simply asked.

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to go back." She said honestly, but sighed as she looked up into the sky, the place where so many pegasi dwelled, "But I don't want her left helpless up there with him."

"Why is she still in the sky? Why isn't she in a hospital on land?"

"He doesn't like the ground… he feels it's below him."

Applejack smirked at the pun but Dash looked at her confused. The orange pony stopped, realising Dash was actually being serious and asked.

"You mean… he doesn't like land dwellers?"

"Yeah… he's really weird." She said, hating even talking about that pegasus she had once called father and Applejack put her hoof around her as Dash continued.

"He used to try to tell me these lies as truths, that pegasi were superior… he was just so effed up."

"Why is she with him?"

"She's in denial… she's been in denial all her life and I just couldn't take her sticking up for him when all he ever did was hurt her." Dash sighed, "I knew she didn't think like him… but I couldn't stand him. And for that… I couldn't stand her."

They sat there in silence, the cold really starting to set in and Applejack finally said.

"She needs help."

"I know… but if I go back, all it'll be is fights."

"I thought you liked fighting?" Applejack said with a smile and Dash looked at her with a smirk.

"No, you like fighting."

The two giggled but as it grew later Dash just sighed, putting the letter in between her feathers as she headed back inside and Applejack took a breath out, getting up and following as they entered back into the house and came back to warmth.

XXXXX

Dash lay awake in bed that night, a million thoughts running through her head, a million problems, a million stresses and all she could see was her mother in pain.

Solar never spent time with her… and now she could go nowhere.

She'd be alone in those clouds… she didn't have any friends… at least, not since Dash could remember and it was all because of him.

Her mother had always been like a flower, so easily broken, so frail and she had left when she fifteen, just having to get away from the sight of Crystal always getting hurt, trampled on by that bastard.

She never expected to see Crystal at her wedding… she honestly thought he would've stopped her but something told her her mother never told him.

And that letter… he probably didn't even know she sent it.

Those last words on that piece of paper,

_I need you Dashie…_

_Please come home._

Maybe her mother thought the wedding was an opening, for her to come back into that frail mare's life… maybe she should face that town again… face that stallion again.

A hate in her heart of him… something she had gotten rid of by leaving.

But her mother needed her.

XXXXX

Dash was a bit off in work the next few days, always seeming to be somewhere else as she dropped apples, stepped on fallen ones and tripped over stumps, the Apple family looking at her confused but Applejack knew what it was all about.

As Dash lay in a tree the coming Wednesday, orange leaves scattered across the ground, Applejack approached her calling up weakly.

"Rainbow?"

Dash looked down, feeling like she was going to get a lecture but sucked up her disillusion and flew down asking,

"What's up?"

"I think you should go back."

Dash looked at her in pain from hearing that,

"Really?"

"You'll hate yourself if ya don't."

"I don't want to go back." She said quietly.

"If you were so sure about that then you'd be fine… but you're not fine. You're worried."

"I don't want to fight anymore."

"Then don't… just keep away from him and only help her."

"Why did this have to happen?" she asked in loss "I don't want to go back to that town… that small town with those narrow minded ponies."

"C'mon, it can't be that bad." Applejack said and Dash frowned disheartened, "You left when you were fifteen, things seem different from an adult perspective."

"I'm only twenty two…"

"Yeah and if ya could survive the last two years, after everything… then I think you can survive this."

"You have too much faith in me."

"You haven't let me down yet." Applejack said with a smile nudging her and Dash smiled but gave out a big sigh as she said finally.

"Alright… I'll go."

"And you can always come back whenever you want, remember you always have a home."

"Could you like come with me and keep repeating all these nice things so I can survive?" Dash asked with a little hope and Applejack just flicked her with her tail, walking to the barn as she answered.

"Sorry hun, can't fly." a smile on her face as she entered into the wooden structure and Dash grinned herself, following her into the barn and closing the door.

XXXXX

That night Applejack woke up with a stinging pain in her head, grabbing it with her hoofs as she clenched her teeth in agony… sitting there in a struggle until in a few hours it passed and she took a few deep breaths regaining herself,

She had never gotten a migraine that bad, something which left her head a bit sore afterwards and she lay back down… confusion and tiredness in her mind before she managed to get back to sleep.

XXXXX

There was a knock the next day on the door, Big Mac greeting the unicorn and letting her in, Twilight smiling as she met Applejack in the kitchen, hay fries in a plate on the table and the two chatted about general things until there was a call from upstairs.

"Hey AJ!"

Twilight looked up to the ceiling, Dash's voice loud and blasting through the wooden upper floor.

"Yeah?"

"Should I take some medicine with me in case I catch the feather flu?! I heard it's in the air at the moment!"

"I wouldn't worry yaself!"

There was silence before a loud reply,

"Yeah, I think I'll take it anyway!"

Applejack chuckled and Twilight looked at her confused, expecting an explanation but when she didn't receive one straight away she asked.

"So where's Rainbow Dash going?"

"Oh, she's just visiting some relatives."

"I almost forgot she had any," Twilight laughed, "She doesn't really talk about them much, does she?"

"She's not really very close to them… her mother recently hurt herself."

"Oh… okay."

"How has it been being a researcher these days? Earning your own money?"

"It's fine, I like the experience but I wish there were more ponies that needed work done for them, I only have two clients and that's Rarity and the Cakes."

"The Cakes?"

"Yeah, they like to know the origin of most of their ingredients but I just think they're trying to find work for me… I feel like I'd have more opportunities in a more industrialised area."

"Well, we'd surely miss you if ya left,"

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere," Twilight said with a smile and got one in return, "Though Spike is now burping out more scrolls with news from bakers across Equestria and he is getting fed up with all the traffic."

"Well just giv' him a bottle of our finest Apple juice, should clear him right up."

"Thanks," Twi said as AJ slid a bottle to her, "But I think he'd much prefer rubies."

"Dragons have weird taste…" Applejack said bewildered but the two just laughed as the clock hit twelve, midday arriving and the sun standing centre in the sky.

XXXXX

Dash felt her chest beating quickly in the night when she woke in a jump and woke up her wife by the panic.

"Whoa, what's wrong?"

Dash was breathing quickly and Applejack stroked her mane quickly, asking again in worry,

"What's wrong, tell me?"

"I just…" Dash said, her eyes in tears and she wiped them… hating herself for the panic… "I had that stupid dream again… that STUPID dream."

"It's okay…" Applejack said, running her hoof through Dash's mane softly, "You know it was only a dream."

"I haven't had it in half a year… why did I have it _tonight?_"

"Well I'm still here…" AJ said quietly and Dash dropped into her hoofs, holding her tight back but a realisation dawned on her.

"Tomorrow night… I won't fall asleep next to you… or wake up with you beside me."

"Hey, it'll only be for a few weeks."

"Do you know how long that will be to me?" Dash told her upset, "In the last year and a half I have only slept away from you two nights… and that… that was nearly impossible for me to take."

Those words really hit Applejack to the core… the way Dash needed her so bad and she only smiled, not knowing what else to do.

"Well do you know how hard it'll be on me? Ten times as bad."

"You're only lying…" Dash said not believing her, "You'll be happy just to have the bed to yourself again."

Applejack only sighed,

"It's only a few weeks…"

"In hell."

"It might not be like what you remembered." Applejack said trying to be helpful and only felt Dash hold her tighter.

"Yeah… it'll only be worse… because I'll have to be away from you." she said in sadness and Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Ya make me out to be this Goddess…"

"Yeah," Dash said with a small smile, "One that farts sometimes in her sleep… but I'll miss that."

Applejack did not expect to be insulted and yet complimented at the same time and just said.

"You will be fine… if you could survive me, you can survive this."

"How come you don't understand how I feel?" Dash said hopeless, "How hard it'll be waking up without you?"

"Well at least ya bed won't be smellin'" Applejack said, still a little offended by that and Dash just giggled.

"Yeah… but that just means it won't be smelling of you."

"Okay, I'm getting up." Applejack said, pushing Rainbow off her and Dash just pouted, watching her wife leave the room and called.

"Could you get me some water?"

"I don't know how? I can't carry it to you." She muttered tiredly and turned on the hall light, Dash just laughing.

This is what she'd miss.

And all that would come tomorrow would be pain…

Pain in going back to that father… back to a pony she wished she never shared blood with.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I just gotta say, I did not expect this to be as humorous as some bits were when I wrote them… they really are like a married couple now, seriously?<strong>

**I'll try update every 2 days or 4 if I can, like I did in the first part but maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself while I have motivation.**

**Eh? Who knows?**

**I suppose review?  
><strong>

**Bye.  
><strong>


	27. Part 3 chapter 3

It was a new dawn, Dash waking up early to put her bags on her back but she woke her wife with the rustle and smiled as Applejack looked at her sleepily.

"You have to leave so early?"

"It's a long flight and you know I can't afford to take a pegasi carriage**."**

"Still…" Applejack said tiredly, getting up and looking through the window, "The sun has barely risen."

"Yeah, and if I don't leave now I won't arrive till midnight."

"Alright, alright." The orange pony muttered and followed Rainbow out of the house, her legs exhausted and the two reached the outdoors shortly afterward, AJ hugging her wife tight.

"Hav' a nice flight."

"Tell Big Mac and Applebloom goodbye from me… hopefully I'll be back in two weeks… or sooner," she said with hope and felt Applejack rub her head against hers, the pegasus sighing.

Her wings spread slowly and the country pony just looked at them seeming a little sad herself, the pegasus beginning to flap them slowly before taking up into the sky.

As the blue pony disappeared into the dim morning light, Applejack just sighed, stepping back indoors and going back to bed.

Dash flew higher and higher, pushing through clouds as she reached the thinner atmosphere and calculated the distance and time of her arrival, taken a lung full of air into her body before she zoomed hard, cutting through the clouds and beginning her journey.

XXXXX

She flew for hours upon hours, light brightening the sky as she passed through the many small pegasi towns.

She took a few breaks, getting food from small cloud shops. She looked upon the cloud structures and homes, a whole world she had left for life on land.

She forgot how much colder it was up in this atmosphere, how there was always a slight chill on even the warmest of days, but she had never forgotten the space.

The sky was literally limitless, flying such an amazing experience that most pegasi took it for granted and left the clouds for life on ground.

But there were always a few who hated the earth, hated grass… feeling it was an unnatural place for their kind, like living upon others who found ways to live without flight a disgusting strange thing.

The town she was going to was a town with this very thought.

They didn't speak of it, knowing this way of thinking was looked down upon, but some of those pegasi had never even touched earth… the day she did, turning fifteen…

The day she found what it was to be grounded.

And the joy of feeling it, gravity a magnificent thing.

But just like for a pegasus how much of another plane the ground seemed… she wondered how it was for earth ponies, the thought of flight something they'd never accomplish.

She shrugged off the thoughts, finishing her cake and taking flight again as it had passed one am and time just sitting around thinking was time wasted.

XXXXX

Applejack looked out to the sky outside, as day turned into night, Big Mac joining her in a few minutes after he had put away the cutlery.

He looked out to the dark blue night, still bright from the full moon and asked his sister kindly.

"Thinking of her?"

"Yeah…" Applejack said quietly, looking at the stars sparkle in the night and took a sigh out, "I'm just hoping she's made it alright."

"Don't worry, Dash is a strong flyer."

"Ya don't need ta tell me Big Mac," she said with a weak smile but turned back up to sky, "I'm just worried of how things will go once she arrives…"

XXXXX

She could feel the cold set in once darkness came, following the white lights that had been set in place for pegasi traffic as she entered into the cloudy streets of Flockem.

She landed on the fluffy cold floor, looking about tiredly as she saw metal seats and factories around her, cloud homes lit up by magic made from unicorns below.

She took a breath in, walking through the cold mist of clouds until she saw the house which made her blood chill.

Cloud houses never age like homes on the town… the house looking exactly the same as the day she left it and she knocked on the door, a mutter being.

"Who is it?!"

She remained silent, her heart beating quickly but she said in a cold voice.

"It's your daughter. Rainbow Dash."

The door opened slowly, a male pegasus looking at her with eyes of hate.

He was black as night, a yellow mane jolting like lightning out of his head and he whispered in hate, his red eyes staring at her,

"What are you doing here."

"I came for her." Dash said with no emotion "I came because she sent for me."

"Why would she send for you?!" Solar Flare asked in anger, "You've never been there for us in the past!"

She hated his voice… the very essence of his being and she just pushed past him, the stallion looking at her in shock as Dash went to her parents' room and knocked on the door before opening it.

She looked away at the sight.

Her mother had bandages up her front leg and wing, a sling holding her wounded limb in place as she sat on bed… her eyes tired, her body worn and old.

"Mum..?" Dash whispered, stepping slowly over to her and Crystal looked at her tiredly, a smile slipping up her mouth weakly.

"You came…" she said in happiness, she looked to the door as Solar Flare stood there just watching the sight of his estranged daughter in his home, "I told you she'd come, Solar."

"The first time ever," he said harshly, blowing smoke out his nostrils and he looked away in disgust.

Dash could feel the dislike, the hate and she only muttered, not facing that pegasus.

"That was the first time I _ever_ got a letter from you."

"Crystal, why did you send for her?" he asked his wife angry, confusion sounding in his words.

The tired mare just looked at the two, before her eyes settled more permanently on her husband and said weakly.

"You just have so much work… you can't be taking care of me every second."

"And do you really think she'll stick around long? She can't take responsibility!"

"I am in the room!" Rainbow Dash yelled angrily, glaring him in the eyes as she stood in a stiff infuriated stance, "And take responsibility? You can't even take responsibility for what you have done!"

"You will not talk to me like that in my own house!" Solar yelled, stamping his hoof hard on the ground and Dash just stared at him, despising his very core.

"Mum…" she asked with a hurt voice, looking at her mother in near tears, "Why did you _want_ me? Why did you send that letter…?"

Crystal just smiled, stroking her daughter on the cheek as she said,

"Because I need you."

Dash shut her eyes in sadness in hearing that and just stood back up straight, asking with no emotion.

"Which room will I take?"

"We've never changed your room, sweetie," Crystal said with love and Dash looked at her confused hearing this, "Because we knew you'd visit… one day."

"Okay, mum," Dash said in a quiet sad voice, though in her gut she found this loving voice so strange… so foreign as it had been gone from her life for so long, "I'll see you tomorrow."

She walked out of the room, Solar moving aside as he just watched her go in a coldness before turning to his wife and asking.

"Why, Crystal? She's not our Dashie anymore."

Crystal seemed to find it hard to smile at him, just moving weakly in her bed as she sat up straighter and muttered.

"Because she's your daughter… and no matter how much you tell me you don't love her, I-I know… you still do."

He just shook his head, not wanting to discuss this as if it brought him pain to even speak of such things and he walked out of the room into the hall, storming down and up the floor… panting in hate and confusion as to why his daughter had returned back into his life.

XXXXX

"It's so quiet without her,"

Applejack looked at her sister as they sat in the living room, Applebloom seeming a bit sad and Applejack just patted her on the back.

"Hey, she'll be home in no time."

"Why won't you tell me why she left?" Applebloom asked begging to know the full reason, "She's never visited relatives before! Why did she hav' ta go this time…?"

"Her family needs her."

"But I thought we were her family?" Applebloom pouted and Applejack just smiled at that sulky face saying,

"You just miss her because ya bored."

"No, I miss her because she's my sister!" Applebloom said back fast and Applejack looked at her a bit surprised to hear this.

"You really see her as ya sister?"

"How could I not?"

Applejack smiled as she added,

"So you're okay with ya two sisters shacking up?"

"Eww Applejack!" Applebloom said annoyed, sticking her tongue out at her "Why'd ya hav' put that image in my head?"

"I-It's okay, sis," the older mare just chuckled, "Just jokin' with ya on that one."

"Yeah, well it ain't funny." Applebloom said pushing AJ away from her and her sister only continued to giggle, "Please don't scar my mind."

"Okay," Applejack laughed but suddenly groaned as the striking pain struck through her head again and she crouched forward, grinding her teeth.

"Applejack…?" Applebloom said worried, looking at her sister a bit scared and Applejack just grated her hind hoofs on the ground in pain before giving out a small cry.

After a few more seconds she stopped the silent scream and looked up at her sister with a shaky smile,

"I'm… I'm okay," she said quietly and Applebloom looked at her in fear.

"What was that…?" she asked with worried eyes and her sister just rubbed her mane, scuffing it up a bit as she said.

"Just a migraine, been getting them lately."

"It looked… really painful," she said scared as she looked at the bloodshot eyes of her sister and Applejack just shook her head giving a small reassuring smile.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Honest."

Applebloom didn't know if she should believe those words, but her sister wasn't saying anything else and she just nodded weakly, the subject being forgotten as they continued talking across the hours.

XXXXX

Rainbow Dash unpacked her bags in silence… her room still holding the memories of when she was a teen.

There were posters of the Wonderbolts still on the walls, clothes hung up in the wardrobe.

A nightstand still held the books she had read when she was young and she sighed as she placed a picture of her true family on the stand… looking at her wife and the Apples smiling at her,

But not with her…

Away in a distant land.

She touched her necklace as she looked at herself in the mirror on the cloudy wall, the one piece of Applejack she would always have on her…

But she hesitated in lying on that bed.

That bed where she had cried after fights with her father when she was a young pony, saying those words,

"I wish I was never born!"

And him responding,

"I WISH THAT TOO!"

The bed where she believed that not waking up would be a better thing than this life.

But the past was something she promised she would try to forget… she had to help her mother.

She lay on it, covering herself with the blanket and feeling the loneliness of a town where she didn't belong.

In a home with a family that was no longer hers…

* * *

><p><strong>Well here's chapter 3, next update shortly.<strong>

**Review if ya like, believe it or not they do motivate everyone ;)**

**Bye.**


	28. Part 3 chapter 4

She woke up with the chill of the airy world she was in.

Dash spent time with her mother, getting her food, helping her move when she needed too.

Solar wasn't seen that day, and when she went to bed that night all she could hear was a door open, heavy steps and then silence.

She hated it here.

She sat in her mother's room on the second day, the events of yesterday only full of strangeness in being back in this place which held her childhood. A childhood she wish she could forget.

"What is swirling in that head of yours, Dashie?"

She looked at her mother as Crystal asked this question with a smile on her face and Dash only sighed.

"Mum, what did he do to you this time?"

"Nothing…"

Dash didn't believe her… all her mother's scars and bruises from the past had been done by him. Why did her mother always have to stand by his side.

She just looked at her silently, those words a lie and got up, walking around the house in sadness that after all these years her mother would still say those words… that she still wouldn't see.

She paused when she heard the door open and that black pegasus step in, staring at him silently till he caught her pink eyes and just grumbled.

"Helping your mother?"

"If you won't"

"Watch your mouth." He said in slight annoyance, pushing pass her and she only glared at him, saying as he was about to go,

"Or what? You'll hit me again."

He turned to her in shock, his red eyes staring at her as if he was trying to hold something back… but he just walked away and she watched him go, her heart beating fast.

She did not feel safe here. This house like a prison, a prison she had left yet because of him she had to return.

To try and show Crystal the truth she had always ignored.

She just had to help her.

XXXXX

Applejack came over to Twilight's house that day, just visiting like she always did in her spare time… but mainly it was because she was lonely since Rainbow left… it being only two days.

"Cheer up, Applejack." Twilight said as they drank tea and talked, the library spotless like usual and AJ just nodded her head with small smile.

"It's been affectin' everyone with her gone," she said sadly "Since Granny Smith died family has become that much more important."

"She'll be home before you know it."

"Yeah, yeah… ahh!" Applejack yelped as she put her hoof to her head and felt the sting of her temple again, Twilight looking at her confused until a few moments passed and Applejack took a sigh out.

"What was that?"

"A migraine… I've been gettin' them lately."

"How long?"

"I'd say around a week now… why?" Applejack asked confused, seeing worry in Twilight's eyes and the unicorn just looked off nervous, Applejack very puzzled.

"Is everythin' okay?"

"I don't know… could there be any reason for them?"

"Well they started to come after Rainbow decided to leave, I just woke up one night with my head stingin'" AJ said with a smile, adding reassuringly "It's nuthin' ta worry about."

"Still I'd like to look into this… it doesn't seem normal…" Twilight said slowly, and AJ only shrugged, she wouldn't stop the unicorn in her interests.

The two moved on from the subject as they talked of other things, Applejack just trying to get her wife's absence off her mind.

XXXXX

Rainbow Dash listened to her mother as Crystal talked to her over the next couple of days.

She couldn't understand how she could be so happy when she was injured so bad, but was surprised she had had these injuries for weeks before she got in contact, Crystal continuing saying that Solar had to return to work to support her.

"You know you don't need him to support you, Mum," Dash told her as she sat on the bed beside her wounded mother, "You can support yourself, you have all these options."

"But he wants too, and I let him."

"He only wants to so he can trap you here, don't you understand?"

"He loves me Dashie."

"He sees you as an object he can just throw about when he's angry."

"Why can't you see that he's not like that… he has a good soul."

Rainbow Dash hated these consistent lies, her mother deluding herself so much and those simple words that killed her the most to here,

"_He's changed_"

Shaking her head in tears, why was her mother believing this?

"I need to go for a fly." She said, only being able to take so much each day and Crystal looked at her sadly as her daughter left the room, soaring through the sky just to get rid of those defending words of a monster.

The town was different in the light, so blue and white.

She looked at young pegasi playing about in the cloud parks, others doing weather work for the villages below.

Life up here was so different to what she remembered… so simple without having to worry about the weather affecting you.

Always above the clouds, hiding the realities of the world below.

But she had to return back to that house… her heart slowing its beat at this reality she had to deal with and when she stepped into the building she could hear shouting from her mother's room, walking to it to hear Solar's voice booming.

"Dammit Crystal! I don't want her here!"

"Give her time, darling… she'll change."

"I don't deserve this hate! After seven years she's still that stubborn teen!"

Dash's eyebrows lowered… he was trying to turn her against her… trying to turn Crystal against everyone like he always did… even her own daughter and she stormed to her room, Solar looking up to the door as he heard the noise.

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his noise with his hoof and looked at Crystal muttering,

"She heard me, didn't she.."

"You didn't realize she was there."

"Those stupid pink eyes… judging me. I can't change the past…" he said quietly, taking a heavy breath out "but if she stays… I'm afraid she'll just bring it back… and I _don't_ want to face it."

He sat on the bed, Crystal patting his lightning mane softly but he just sighed… everything just getting fucked up again.

Dash didn't know how much longer she could take it here.

Four days already seemed like a month… time in this spaceless world just getting to her, a place where she didn't belong anymore. Where she _never_ belonged.

She had to keep away from him.

If she was to convince Crystal, make her see, she had to show her the darkness he possessed. She had to take her mother with her home.

She had to protect, more now than what she had ever thought in the past.

He could hurt her again and again till he killed her.

Her mother had to see the danger.

She stayed out of Solar's way the coming days… just avoiding those piercing cold red eyes and begged her mother, telling of the past, telling of the truths.

"He hit me so hard, are you just going to forget that?"

"Sweetie p-please,"

"He said that if I didn't shut up he'd throw me across the room!"

"Dashie, he's change!"

"A pony can't just change like that! LOOK WHAT HE DID TO YOU!"

Crystal only burst out into tears, Dash hating to see her mother cry but she couldn't take this denial.

"Please mum, I beg you, come back to Ponyville with me."

"_This _is my home!" Crystal cried trying to push her away and that nearly broke Dash's heart, "Y-your home! Why can't you see the love in his eyes!"

"Stop it! He can't feel love! He can only control! He's just controlling you!"

"Leave me Rainbow Dash!" Crystal shouted suddenly and Dash stood back in disbelief, "Just leave me alone!"

"M-mum…?" she whispered upset.

"If you can't believe he's changed, than I can't believe you have either!"

That nearly crushed her, and she just left the room, her eyes watering at how her help had only back fired but as she ran through the hall she only bashed into Solar and flinched back from him yelling.

"Don't you ever touch me!"

Solar's heart just feeling empty at that voice and he watched his daughter run out of the house again… knowing he would have to do something eventually. He just had to stop all this stress.

His wife's cries could be heard through the thin walls…and he took a heavy breath out as he went into her.

XXXXX

Applejack blinked to the very loud knocking on her door that day, answering it at the fastest pace she could manage and there stood a panting Twilight, AJ asking.

"What's wrong? Why are you panting?"

"I had to come here as soon as I could, please come with me."

"Did something happen in Ponyville?"

"No," Twilight said, her voice nearly breaking, "Just come with me, please."

"Alright…?" Applejack said slowly confused and followed Twilight out, the two walking for an hour till they reached town and Twilight took her to the library, Applejack blinking in astonishment as she saw Princess Celestia standing there with a concerned look on her face.

"Princess Celestia?" Applejack said confused, looking around at the mess of books on the ground and back slowly at the alicorn "Why are you here…?"

"Twilight Sparkle told me of your migraines..."

"Yeah…" AJ said slowly, she did not like how serious the princesse's voice sounded.

"She also told me of your miraculous recovery over a year ago."

"Yes… I guess."

Celestia looked at her quietly, her purple eyes seeming to be examining every part of Applejack's body and she said after a brief minute.

"May I?"

Lowering her horn.

Applejack looked at her confused, but nodded slowly and the princess touched her forehead with her horn, Applejack's body illuminating as her organs and veins could be seen from inside, covered in a pink magical light before Celestia pulled away, Twlight just looking at Applejack's brain in tears until the alicorn's magic faded and everyone was silent again.

"What's goin' on…?" Applejack asked quietly… fear running through her body and the princess only looked at Twilight as she said.

"To save your life, Twilight used dark magic."

Applejack looked at Twilight confused… she knew she used magic so strong it had drained it completely from her… but dark?

"She did…?" she asked quietly.

"Yes."

"So what does that hav' to do with-?"

"The magic was stored in your body, working your organs, making you breathe, making you live."

Applejack took a small step back, so confused.

"Yes…"

Celestia just looked at her, her voice continuing,

"But because you are not a unicorn, you cannot create new magic and so the magic in your body has been running out slowly over the last year and a half."

Applejack could hear Twilight cry, looking back at her worried, looking to the princess quickly as she said.

"Well can I get more magic? Surely a few unicorns can spare a bit."

"The transfer of magic, the use of it to keep alive a pony when her time has come is forbidden, dark magic is forbidden."

"I don't understand?" Applejack said, her eyes watering as she listened to this in slight panic, as if the whole world was collapsing in on her and she only asked, desperate to know what this was about,

"What are you _sayin'?!_"

Princess Celestia took a breath out, Twilight just weeping uncontrollable and Applejack took in a breath, regaining herself… she had to get a grip and she asked one more time.

Very slowly, her eyes red and scared.

"What are you saying?"

The alicorn looked at the young pony, eyes of regret, as the words left her mouth in sadness,

"Applejack. You…You are going to die."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the late night post, I almost didn't update today but forced myself to sit and type.<strong>

**Update soon. **


	29. Part 3 chapter 5

"How long…"

Celestia looked at the country pony in silence, seeming confused that this was the only thing to come out of her mouth.

"Less than a month…"

Applejack breathed in slowly, her eyes closed as she took in this news and Twilight could be heard trying to hold back her tears with failure.

"Do you know the exact time?"

"There's only a little bit of magic left… you could go at any time but the longest would be a month."

"And…" Applejack said quietly, her voice seeming to shake a little, "Will it h-hurt…?"

Twilight tried to control herself as she wiped her face and just stuttered, "No… it w-won't hurt, you'll just die, it will be sudden and it w-won't hurt."

Applejack looked at the two ponies, her heart beating slow, as if she just wanted to not exist in this place and time and took another breath,

Saying,

"Okay."

"Would you like to tell your family…?"

"No."

The two looked at her confused, they were so sure that would be the first thing on Applejack's mind.

"Not yet… if I still have time… I just, I don't want to tell them right now."

"Okay," Celestia said but Twilight looked at her so confused.

Why wouldn't she tell her loved ones? Prepare them? Applejack just sat down, seeming to go empty and the three only stayed in silence… the feeling of death lingering in the air.

XXXXX

Dash sat in the park, the weather growing dark as she breathed in heavy breaths, anger only in her, confusion and loss.

She felt like she couldn't go back to that home… her mother saying those words,

_if you can't believe he's changed than I can't believe you have changed either!_

But she had changed… leaving that place which was only making her worse, leaving that home which made her so angry, so furious…

Why would her mother say she hadn't changed when she had only accomplish happiness without them…

And that her mother could accomplish it without him too.

"Look who we have here…"

She looked up, seeing a few male pegasi fly above her and she got up, thinking it was best to leave but the tall grey one landed in front of her, grinning darkly.

"If it isn't little gay Dashie."

She looked at him shocked… how did this stranger know.

"Just leave me alone," she said in a mutter trying to push past him but two others flew down around her.

"Momma Crystal been talking about how you got with a mare, such pride"

"Yeah…" the big yellow one said in a gruff voice, "an earth mare at that."

"My business has nothing to do with you." Dash said, her anger boiling at this stupid talk and as she was about to take flight two suddenly jumped her holding her down and she yelped in shock, "Let me go!"

"You probably give it like a stallion, don't ya?" the grey said as he approached her with a dark grin, "But I bet you take it like a filly…"

Dash's eyes widened in horror, trying to kick them away quickly but they had her in a hard hold and she only screamed in terror.

"I bet you've never even been touched by a male."

"N-no! STOP!"

There was a sudden thunder as rain poured down onto them and the young stallions looked up angry to see a black pegasus fly at them with such speed as he collided with the ring leader and pushed the both of them through the clouds, Dash fighting the two other pegasi off as she flew away in the rain in panic.

She landed with shaking legs on the black cloud that had started the rumble and watched as a black figure split through the lower clouds, attacking the two other pegasi, her heart drumming in panic.

She could here cries and yells, tears rising to her eyes at what could've happened and she cried helpless, water dripping off her shaking body before the black figure could be seen flying toward her and she stumbled back, lightning splitting through the sky as she took off only to hear a call.

"Rainbow."

That voice… that voice she hated.

"Leave me alone!" she cried, flying faster into the black night and could feel a flash of light pass her before Solar flew in her way, Dash only dodging him quickly but he grunted yelling.

"DON'T YOU FLY AWAY FROM ME!"

"Why do you have to do t-this!" she yelled in tears, just wanting to avoid those red hateful eyes but he caught up to her fast, his speed equal and caught her, Dash struggling, kicking and screaming but her blows were not felt on his hard bones.

"I could've STOPPED THEM!" she yelled finally pushing him off and glaring at him in tears, "But you had to control me! Stop it with your fucking brute _strength_!"

"You couldn't of…" he muttered, looking her in the eyes with no emotion, "You needed me."

"I HAVE NEVER NEEDED _YOU!_" Dash just screamed and shot away into the rain, her rainbow trail being left behind and he groaned, following his daughter on into the weather he had created, Dash nearly exploding at his pursuit.

"LEAVE ME _ALONE!_"

"Come home, your mother needs you!"

"_You_ tell her she DOESN'T!"

"Grow up and take responsibility!"

That's when Dash had had enough.

She turned around and glared at him, her heart beating a hundred miles per second and she yelled.

"WHY WON'T YOU TAKE _RESPONSIBILITY!? YOU_ HIT ME, _YOU _LEFT ME BLEEDING AND BRUISED! BUT _YOU_ WON'T _**ADMIT IT!"**_

Solar stared at her, the rain pouring down between them and his eyes seemed to show sadness, pain as he said.

"I know…" Dash only panting and he repeated "I know…"

"_Why?_" she begged, needing to know why he could be so cruel, "I was only a f-filly!"

"Because… I was bad… because I thought it would make you strong."

"_Make me strong?!_" she said in disbelief, and he took a breath out.

"You had a mind of your own… I tried to control it. YES, I tried to _control_ you! But I wanted you to be like me… not her."

"You hit your only child."

"I wanted you to change. I wanted you to be like me."

Dash only shook her head slowly in tears.

"No one could be as cruel as y-you."

"I never thought you'd leave. I never thought I could make a pony leave me… but I'm different now."

"Have you touched earth?"

He remained quiet, Dash just staring at him as she repeated in anger.

"HAVE YOU TOUCHED _EARTH?!_"

No reply and she just muttered.

"You will _never_ be different because ponies like you don't ever go away, you never change."

He only looked at her, his eyes seeming empty, not knowing what to say and she flew away, the black pegasus only staying in the sky… the rain hiding him in the dark.

XXXXX

When she arrived to that cloud house she only cried, cried in her room of all those years that she would never have again… those years of pain that she couldn't ignore while in this home.

The posters were still on the walls, her books on the stand.

This home would never give her what she needed, never console her in what the past had done and she only heard a weak call, a voice saying,

"Dashie…?"

She just lay on her bed, hearing her mother's voice call once more and she wiped her eyes, walking quietly through the hall to the room, the middle age pony still wrapped up in her bed and Dash took a weak step in saying.

"I'm sorry, Mum… for fighting with you earlier."

"It's okay, sweetie," Crystal said, looking at her daughter with a smile, "I know you were only upset…"

Dash nodded, not really feeling present and Crystal held her hoof with a soft smile,

"You just have so much going through your mind."

"I only wanted you to say it…" she said quietly and Crystal looked at her confused, Dash sighed "to say that he is bad… but you wouldn't."

"He hasn't hurt me, Dashie," Crystal said with a smile, "He hasn't hurt me in so long…"

"I wish you were telling the truth…"

Crystal looked at her in sadness, and said quietly,

"Dashie…"

Her eyes true, sincere,

"He hasn't hit me since the day you left..."

Rainbow Dash looked at her confused, saying quietly,

"…what,"

"You leaving changed him… it made him different, and over the years it made me love him again."

Dash shook her head in tears,

"You don't have to ever forgive him," Crystal said weakly.

"I can't." she said, her eyes in pain, in sorrow, "I just can't." Crystal looked at her quietly, stroking her mane and Dash said,

"I've tried to, I've tried to be better than him… but I can never have anything more for him than hate, anger… at what he did to me… I'm… I'm not strong like you, mum,"

"It's okay," she said softly and Dash only cried on her shoulder,

"You say you can't… and maybe you won't for years…" Crystal added as she stroked her mane comforting, "But one day… you will see there is no point for it, that you will not want the hate… and you'll let it go."

"I-I won't,"

"You will…" Crystal repeated and Dash just sat up in tears, "But that's enough, it's better to talk of the things that bring happiness instead of pain."

Dash smiled at her weakly, wiping her eyes and Crystal moved her fringe out of her pink eyes with love, saying,

"Now, tell me about your new family… tell me about your life."

"Do you want to hear the happy parts…" Dash said with a weak laugh, "or the sad."

"The parts that mean the most to you."

"Okay… but can we not talk about him anymore… I just, I can't anymore."

"Okay dear, we won't if that's what you want,"

Dash smiled as she began to talk about her life, and all the things she had never talked about with her mother…letting the pain go away,

...for the first time since she arrived.

XXXXX

The house was not a happier place, but it was not a sadder one either,

It was a place with understanding.

The mail came a few days later as Solar placed it on the table but saw an address he was not familiar with, with a name he had only heard once.

_Applejack_

There had been a rule in the house made since that stormy night, that he and Dash would not speak or look at each other… it was just easier, but he knew she was out so he went into her room and placed the letter on her stand.

He had a feeling he would never meet this Applejack… but he had a feeling she was something special to his daughter.

Dash came home later that day, Solar keeping out of her way just as arranged and when she had helped her mother for the day she went to her room that night to sleep.

She saw the letter waiting for her and her heart lit up when she saw who from, opening it quickly as she read the words,

_Hey Rainbow,_

_Could you come home soon, _

_I really need you back_

_Applejack_

She smirked at how short the words were, but she was glad that Applejack needed her for once.

She'd wait another week though, she had only been gone one anyway.

She put the letter up next to the photo of her family, just looking at her wife with a cheeky smile as her eyes dimmed slowly and soon slumber approached her with ease.

The house was not a happier one, nor a sadder one… and she could live with that now.

But those words that her mother said to her passed through her dreams that night as she slept… those words of encouragement.

_One day you will not want the hate_

All things could heal, time a thing that can never be rushed,

…but there would always be scars….

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the four day wait, but here's chapter five and we have reached the midway point of the story, stay tuned :)<strong>


	30. Part 3 chapter 6

_I can't live without you_

Her lids wrinkled, the orange pony tossing around in her sleep.

_Grave stones, an empty bed… _

Her dreams so misconstrued, so loss in the meaning,

_A blue pony standing by the grave… covering shadows, a tear slipping down her cheek._

The words,

_Can't live without you_

She couldn't wake up, feeling the loneliness pierce into her core, the emptiness of this soul.

A piece of light leaving Dash's heart… replaced by black.

Pain, torture.

_Wake up!_

No matter how hard she wanted to escape this nightmare she couldn't as she saw her love die… her death killing that pegasus… killing her.

Applejack shot up from the bed in pain, her head killing her with the intense stinging, ringing of her insides but she knew this was not the moment of death.

For the moment of death was painless.

After a few minutes it started to gently ease away and she sat there in the night, panting heavily…

Rainbow Dash… how would she cope? How would she go on…?

How could she do this to her?

Would it have been easier if she had died in that hospital bed… a few months together could heal within a few years, a few years together… after everything… could it ever heal?

She had expected her home a day ago, she needed her home for what time she had left.

If Rainbow didn't come soon, it may be too late.

And would she live without her…?

Would she?

XXXXX

Big Mac saw his sister sitting outside early in the morning, the orange pony chewing nervously on her bottom lip, just looking to the sky and he smiled softly, coming out to her and saying,

"Hey,"

She didn't respond, and he sat next to her like many times before, saying,

"Still missin' her?"

Applejack blinked, turning her eyes to him and shaking her head… her eyes looking like they had little life as she said.

"Thinkin' about the future."

"Doesn't exist," Big Mac said with a smile.

Applejack shook her head slowly, smirking weakly as she added,

"Mine is certain…"

Big Mac could sense what this talk was about… that talk two weeks ago in the room… of children and how the two mares would never have them.

"Applejack,"

She looked at him quietly,

"What is it, Big Mac…?"

"I overheard you and Rainbow Dash talking about children a couple of weeks ago."

"Old talk…" Applejack muttered, not really wanting it to be brought up.

Big Mac felt nervous, saying unsure if doing so would be a mistake.

"It could be possible…"

"What are you talkin' about?"

"You and me… we're, we're the same aren't we?"

"Err…"

"Same blood and all,"

She looked at him confused,

"Yeah… I guess so?"

"Rainbow Dash wanted a part of you, well a part of you is in me…"

Applejack's eyes slowly widened as she listened to this, something that never even came to mind.

"She would never agree…"

He closed his mouth, remaining quiet as she said that with such certainty.

"Plus… how could you live with your child under the same roof but no authority over it…"

"You expect Applebloom to move away one day," he said quietly, not sure if he should mention, Applejack realising he had heard more than what she knew, "Maybe you two will want to go too someday."

"Big Mac…" Applejack said, tears coming weakly to her eyes… she _was _going away sooner than what he knew and she would never return.

"It can be years from now… but I know you want kids, and, and I could donate."

"Thank you," she said, wiping her eyes pathetically, knowing she had to tell them, her days running out but she wanted Rainbow home, she had to tell her first.

"And she will hav' a part of you." He said.

She looked at him quietly, her heart beating slowly… the one thing that she always believed Dash couldn't have… the one thing she believed she couldn't give.

Knowing Dash had attempted suicide once.

Knowing she could attempt again.

And this… this could be the way to stop her.

So she could live without her.

XXXXX

She tossed and turned in her sleep, so many torturous images of that pegasus dying.

Waking up in cold sweats.

She had to do something.

XXXXX

She spent as much time as she could with her family, visiting all her old friends and the girls happy to see her but so confused.

Rarity,

"You look radiant today, Applejack,"

If only she knew

Fluttershy,

"The farm must keep you all so b-busy,"

"Yes…"

And finally time with Twilight where the unicorn only looked at her distressed, what was she doing?

"Why haven't you told anyone yet?" she asked, needing to know, hating keeping this secret, it was killing her.

"Because I need ta tell her first."

"But it might be too late!"

"It won't, she'll come home… just a few more days."

When she stood in her room, looking through the photo albums of her life, seeing her parents when she was young, Granny Smith's ninety-eighth birthday, Applebloom's first day of school and at last,

Her wedding day.

Seeing all her friends smiling and laughing in the pictures… time was running out.

She left the album on her bed, opening her draw and taking out her necklace.

Putting it on…

If she wasn't here she would wear the one piece of her she could… and she wouldn't take it off till the day she died.

XXXXX

Dash looked at the calendar,

The cold winter was approaching in a month, the freeze reaching the sky first and she flew high in the air, soaring as she saw pegasi putting on their winter wear in autumn.

She smirked,

She could handle the cold.

As she arrived back home she looked her eyes down when she passed him and stepped into her mother's room, Crystal healing ever more in the week that passed and Dash grew nervous as she said.

"Hey, Mum,"

"Hello, Dashie"

Rainbow Dash came closer, a little guilty to even bring it up, but her mother caught her off saying.

"It's time isn't it…?"

Her daughter looked at her quietly, and nodded her head.

"I think I should go home…"

"Thank you for coming here," Crystal said softly, smiling at her daughter with warmth "I know it was hard for you."

"No, not seeing you, Mum… never," she said trying to put that forward, "But I miss them."

"I understand," Crystal said and Rainbow Dash hugged her tight, before getting ready to leave,

"Remember you always have a place here,"

That hurt her, and Rainbow Dash, even though she loved her mother… she never wanted to return here.

She smiled at her one more time before opening the door and walking to her room but heard a voice say.

"Good luck…"

It was her father, and even though she paused for a moment… she just kept on walking. Solar stood there, seeing his daughter preparing to depart and he knew there was nothing else he could say.

She would never need him in her life, she would never want him in her life and he knew that.

But he could still just say those words.

XXXXX

She soared through the skies, flying onwards and onwards through the cold and the clouds until eventually a small town came into view and she smiled, landing down to the farm and hearing the sounds of the family from within the home.

She smiled as she came into the house, hearing talk between brother and sister and knocked on the sitting room door, coming in and seeing Big Mac and Applebloom playing a board game.

"Miss me?"

The two looked up, their eyes brightening before they came over to her and hugged her with laughter, Dash asking.

"Where's Applejack?"

"In the kitchen,"

She grinned as she walked back into the hall and headed to the back room, seeing her wife waiting for the water in the kettle to boil and she sneaked up on her, tapping her on the shoulder and saying,

"Boo."

Applejack turned around quickly, her green eyes wide as she hugged her saying.

"I'm so glad your home,"

"I wasn't gone that long," Dash said nonchalantly, surprised to get such a loving greeting and when AJ let go of her Rainbow looked down to her neck, smiling as she saw the necklace.

"You're wearing it,"

"Yeah…" Applejack said with a nervous shaky laugh, her eyes watering a little and Dash looked at her a little worried.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nuthin'" Applejack said weakly, smiling as she held the tears back and just kissed her, Dash a little surprised but responded warmly and the two held lip lock for few minutes before Dash said.

"I should've stayed longer."

"No, you really shouldn't have." Applejack said with a smile and the kettle hit off, AJ pouring tea and Dash just spent the rest of the night talking to her, happy to be home,

But sensing in her deep unconscious that AJ's warm reception was coming from something unsaid.

XXXXX

They lay in bed, the hours going by so quickly and Dash knew something was wrong, the way Applejack just kept her eyes on her through all the time she had been here, as if it would be the last time she would see her and she had to ask, as they lay in the bed beside each other, the problem that was wrong.

"AJ,"

"Yeah," Applejack said as her eyes gazed at her, her deep green eyes going through her but she continued.

"You seemed really upset today when you saw me."

"I was just happy to see you."

"I wasn't gone that long… I honestly thought it would be harder on me than you…"

"Rainbow," Applejack said, afraid to say the words… afraid to get the truth out and so just kissed her, needing to be with her intimately if she was too much of a coward.

Rainbow Dash kissed her back confused, but asked as they separated briefly.

"What's wrong,"

"I just want to love you," Applejack said in tears, "For you to l-love me back."

"I will always love you," Dash said not understanding and Applejack kissed her again, their lips intertwining deeply as they held and caressed, their bodies intertwining in love, warmth and the minutes went by in seconds.

A firework,

Rainbow Dash withdrew from her in the second that she heard Applejack scream and said,

"Tell me."

"I'm fine."

"You haven't screamed from this in over a year… why won't you tell me?" she asked hurt, her voice shaking and Applejack swallowed.

"Because all I'll do is hurt you."

"You're hurting me right now," Dash said, getting upset that Applejack was holding back from her and she didn't know why, did she do something wrong?

"I'm sorry," AJ said, finding it hard to look her in the eye and that killed the pegasus, "But if I t-tell you… you'll just cry!"

"I won't!" Dash said, desperate to understand, desperate to know what she did wrong. Applejack knew she had to say something!

"I WANT CHILDREN!"

Dash just looked at her confused… what was she talking about? She hesitated before muttering,

"I told you how I felt about that."

"But you can have a part of me!" Applejack said in a cry, tears coming down her eyes… saying this if she couldn't say the other.

Rainbow Dash looked at her, why was she bringing this up?

"Big Mac… h-he said he could donate."

"Why do you want this?" she asked, she didn't like this talk.

"Because I want to have a child with you!" Applejack pleaded… what was she saying?

But she knew what she was saying… the only thing she could to avoid telling her the truth.

She was being irrational, she was being stupid, but in this state of panic, it was the only thing clear in her mind.

She had to stop Dash from ever hurting herself when she was gone.

She had to do the one thing in her mind which she knew would protect her, save her.

"We can wait." Dash said in a serious voice, she didn't want to talk about this, not on her first day home.

"No, please… we can't wait,"

"How would Big Mac think about this?"

"He understands…" Applejack said weakly, she could see the pain she was causing Rainbow Dash.

"I don't want to do this this way," Dash said weakly, "I don't think it's right."

"But I _do._"

Rainbow just looked at her… a choice that would change their lives, something which she was so uncertain about… so afraid of.

But she… she would do anything for her, and she muttered weakly,

"Okay…"

A decision being made that would change things forever

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry this took so long to post but I was doing other hobbies and time went really quick.<strong>

**Update hopefully in two days.**


	31. Part 3 chapter 7

How many days?

Three.

It all just happened too fast.

Saying _okay_ and then finding herself in the hospital bed that Wednesday.

Rainbow Dash had a million things going through her mind, why so soon? Why so sudden?

Big Mac had been a little surprised when Applejack begged for him to donate so quickly, he had pictured this not happening until at least another year, but he kept his promise… and it all began.

Applejack waited outside in the empty hall of the ward, feeling fear, feeling worry of what she was doing but how would Rainbow Dash ever agree if she knew the truth of what was going to happen.

She looked up when the door opened and a very timid Dash came out, seeming not fully there as the pegasus said quietly,

"I feel weird…"

"Did it work?" AJ only asked and the doctor came to the side of Dash, a smile on his face as he said.

"We won't know till three days,"

"Oh God…." Dash said, feeling sick… only now that it was done she had to know why she had agreed.

Because of love was the stupid answer… because Applejack wanted a family but they were too young, she knew they were, Rainbow Dash only just a full adult.

"Can we go?" she asked weakly and Applejack nodded, the two walking out of the hospital quietly and Applejack looked at her nervously,

She said,

"I know you don't think it's time…"

Looking at her with her piercing green eyes, as if they were going through the pegasus's soul,

"But we need to do this."

"Why…" Dash just muttered, quiet and dead inside, "Why now when we have so much time?"

Applejack swallowed nervous.

"The future can't be predicted."

"It better come out negative," Dash only said back, tired and feeling violated for what she just had to do, having a syringe going into her u ha just didn't seem natural "Got the tests?"

"Yeah, they're in the bags," Applejack said, indicating the bags on her back and Dash digressed,

"You really should let me carry those."

"No, I'll do it."

"Applejack…"

"You've already been through enough today."

"I honestly don't know why you ever wanted a penis shoved into you," Dash said dully "I feel violated after that syringe."

Applejack just chuckled but didn't get one back and sighed… her wife was not happy with her. But she had to make things right before she told her,

And things would only get worse.

XXXXX

Applejack was giving the silent treatment when they got home and she groaned at that, as Dash just ignored her questions of how she was doing and walked off whenever she entered the room.

Applebloom however bounced around the house excitedly as she cooed in glee, "I'm gonna be an auntie, I'm gonna be an auntie!"

"Might," Rainbow Dash called from away and Applebloom looked at Applejack in the kitchen as her sister said,

"Probably."

"So wait, Big Mac's going to be a dad and an uncle…?"

Applejack cringed at the father bit and said hesitantly.

"Just uncle."

"But isn't it his foal?"

"No." Applejack said… oh god, this situation was just so messy, "Me and Rainbow are the parents. He is just the donator."

"I'm still confused."

"You'll understand when your older…"

"Hey, I'm eleven and a half, I'm nearly an adult."

"You are nearly a teen, and may God help us when you hit puberty."

"Jeeze, why is everyone so grumpy today?" Applebloom only muttered, annoyed at her sister and Applejack gave a smile taking a breath out.

"You're right Applebloom," looking at her with a warm face "Sorry."

"It's fine," the filly said with a roll of her eyes and trotted off, Applejack just smiling as she watched her sister go but cringed as her head had a strike of pain pierce through it and she grabbed it, clutching her teeth together as she felt the pain run down her back and she begged for it to stop,

Five minutes going by, the longest ever and she let go when it finally began to relinquish… time was running out.

She had to tell her, she couldn't keep it off any longer and called for Rainbow Dash… but got no reply.

She felt her heart hurt at the rejection but got up and headed to her room, seeing Dash on the bed, holding her stomach as if feeling the strangeness inside her and Applejack said to her weakly,

"Rainbow," Dash looked up at her, but turned away and Applejack said quietly, "Can we go out,"

"It's freezing out there," she replied tiredly and Applejack smiled adding,

"When has that ever stopped you before?"

"I'm mad at you." Dash said back and Applejack approached her … she just wanted to spend the rest of her time with her, even if Dash was grumpy.

"I know… but if you come with me I can make you happy again. We can have a picnic… it's beautiful out there."

"AJ…" Dash said and hated how her wife knew how to the play the guilt card… she sat up and looked at her, Applejack smiling weakly and sighed, "fine…"

"Could you get the picnic blanket?"

"I'll get it all." Dash said and got up, passing her wife and Applejack sighed… no matter how many ways she thought of telling her… every one of them still seemed painful.

XXXXX

They sat out on the closest hill, orange leaves scattered on the ground and the grass cold.

Applejack tried to get Dash to smile as they sat with each other on the blanket, the sky becoming orange as evening settled in softly and Applejack tried her luck once more.

"You know what you're doing really means a lot to me," she said quietly, looking into those pink eyes that just seemed dim and upset.

"Yeah," Dash said and lay down with no life, Applejack looking at her sadly as she curled into her wife, feeling her heart beat against her and Rainbow looked quietly away annoyed.

"Really… you don't know how much…" she said again.

"You know this will change everything.." Dash whispered, staring at the orange sky… not wanting to look her in the eyes.

"Things are going to be changing no matter what." AJ said weakly and Dash sighed, Applejack stretching slowly over her and holding her hostage under her body. Dash looked up into her eyes in sadness.

"It didn't have too…" she said weakly, her heart sinking in her chest from the pain "you wanted it too."

"The only thing that stays the same is change." Applejack said sadly, holding her close.

Rainbow Dash didn't want her on top of her… but felt bad pushing a feeble Applejack away and sighed, whispering.

"But change happens slowly… this is just too soon."

Applejack felt tears come to her eyes, shaking her head and just dropping her body onto Dash, holding her close and Dash didn't understand this need… she had been acting this way ever since she got home… why?

"I'm sorry…" Dash said, feeling guilty now at Applejack's melancholy "It's fine,"

"No it i-isn't…" AJ whispered in tears.

"Come on," Dash said, holding her warm body in her hoofs, "I was just being a jerk…"

"No... you have a right to feel this way…" she said, her voice nearly breaking and looked down into her eyes, "And you'll never forgive me."

"Now I know that's impossible." Dash said pressing her head against AJ's softly with a warm smile and began to kiss her, trying to make her feel better.

Applejack fell into the embrace, the two kissing softly for a few minutes, Applejack never wanting it to end until she squinted away, her head hurting her and Dash looked at her worried,

"Are you okay?"

"No," Applejack said, and just began kissing her again, ignoring the agony in her head as she wanted to be with her wife, holding her, loving her… tasting her lips while she still could and Dash began to chuckle, the two separating as she laughed.

"Okay, we haven't kissed like that since that night…"

"What night?"

"The night you told me you love me…" she said with a grin "'oh Rainbow, I love you, I LoVe you, I LOOOOVE you!" she teased and Applejack just looked at her asking quietly,

"So why do you want it to stop?"

Rainbow Dash looked at her confused… feeling strange at this response, something making her heart beat slower… this feeling really weird… dangerous almost and muttered,

"I don't."

Their lips joining again, so many things left unsaid as they made love out on that hill, hidden by prying eyes and when the time came when it was over Applejack just lay beside her, holding Dash so tightly, the pegasus feeling afraid as the sun set and evening turned quietly to night.

XXXXX

Rainbow Dash had never felt this close to her as she did this moment, on this day

… Applejack affected her deeply, that once they returned back home she didn't leave her side, the two always in touching distance and she felt like if she broke touch things would just crumble.

They didn't talk much however… the hill the place where the feeling first began and as they lay against each other on the couch, Applebloom stuck out her tongue… this whole lovey doveyness really getting to her.

"Do you two really have to do this in here? You have a room!"

"Applebloom," AJ said tiredly and her sister just groaned leaving the room in a pout.

"How do you do that?" Dash asked with a grin, feeling Applejack's body warm against hers,

"Years of practice," she replied, holding Rainbow Dash closer and Dash didn't want to let her go… for if she did she felt it would be the last time they ever touched.

She had to say it… the fear in her chest… what this all meant to her.

"I'm scared, Applejack…" she whispered into her ear, the words shivering through the country ponies back,

"I'm scared you are keeping something from me…" she swallowed, afraid to get the rest of her words out, "and you won't tell me what it is."

"I just want to be with you…" Applejack said quietly, looking into her eyes, "Now… in this moment."

"Why this moment?" she asked, worry in how quiet AJ's voice sounded.

"Because…" Applejack said… so afraid,

"Because I love you."

"You're scaring me…"

"I'm scared too." She whispered… Dash's heart beating in fear,

"I'm scared too…"

XXXXX

Applejack hated how it turned to midnight… they usually didn't stay up this late but the two prepared for bed, Applejack sitting up waiting for Rainbow Dash to be done in the bathroom.

She just stared at the bedroom door, waiting for her, needing to tell her now or never…

It was so close.

"Rainbow!"

The pegasus rinsed out her mouth from the toothpaste, smiling as she saw white teeth glisten back at her from the mirror.

"I'll be in in a second!"

"Please… please come in now."

"What is it?!" she shouted.

Applejack took a breath, whispering in tears,

"…I'm dying."

Rainbow dash blinked her eyes confused, she could barely hear her.

"What?"

Applejack touched her head softly, a weird feeling coming over her…

She felt woozy, her body feeling different as she sat there in silence.

She collapsed dead.

Rainbow Dash smiled at herself, giving a wink at her reflection and giggled before walking into the room, seeing a lifeless Applejack on the bed.

"Gone to sleep already?" she laughed, walking over to the bed but looked at her wife confused when she didn't answer.

"Applejack?" she said.

There was no response. The pegasus stood there quietly looking at the body on the bed.

This didn't feel right, this didn't feel proper.

She stared at her wife, not seeing any breath of air rise in her chest… not seeing anything.

Her eyes became still, her voice shaking,

"...Applejack,"


	32. Part 3 chapter 8

I'm sorry

_No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no _

_This can't be happening! This isn't real!_

_Come on! BREATHE! __**BREATHE!**_

_**NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!**_

_WAKE UP! __**WAKE UP!**_

_THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!__** THIS ISN'T REAL!**_

_WAKE UP!_

_This isn't r-real…!_

XXXXX

She lay on her bed, looking at the empty space. It was so cold.

The golden necklace rested on the nightstand, the home empty of noise.

She just stared at the space… no life left in her eyes.

There was sound as hoofs could be heard coming into the home in silence, whispers from below and she breathed slowly in and out.

"_Is she alright?"_

"_She hasn't said anything in days…"_

"_Let m-me," _a voice stuttered weakly, "_Let me see her…_"

There was no talk after those words, footsteps being heard coming up the stairs until there was a knock on the door and Twilight stepped in in silence, Dash not even blinking as she just stayed still.

"She didn't want me to t-tell anyone."

There was no response.

"I think she just didn't want to see you cry."

Dash said nothing, just looking at the empty space… and Twilight stood there, her own eyes red and tired from the tears she had been crying since last week when they all found out.

"I'm sorry…"

"Twilight…"

She paused, looking at Dash's empty body,

"Yes."

"_Why._"

She remained silent, listening.

"Why did she go…"

"I don't know…" she said quietly.

A tear ran down Dash's face.

"But she never wanted to leave you."

"Why did she do this to me…" she whispered, her eyes watering slowly, "Why…"

"She didn't c-choose this."

That was not what Dash meant. She was pregnant.

There was nothing said, and Twilight had to leave the room… her eyes hurting her seeing the pegasus like this… in so much pain.

Rainbow Dash had not eaten.

XXXXX

It soon turned night.

A pony came silently into the room and stood there, looking at her with quiet eyes as she whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Dashie."

Why did Pinkie come… why did anyone.

"I'm sorry that she's gone, I'm sorry that she left us… but.. but you will survive this."

Pinkie felt afraid, she felt like she was treading on string.

"Noo…"

She looked at the pegasus as she said this so weakly.

"Nooo…"

"One day… you won't feel this… but you will always remember her…"

Rainbow Dash just looked at the space, _she could see her wife's smile_.

"We are here." Pinkie whispered, and stepped back… before leaving quietly and Dash just lay there looking at nothing.

She got slowly up, breathing barely as she sat there and looked around the room.

_She could see her and AJ talking as the two walked through the door with giggles._

_She could see her wife standing by the window, looking at the fields._

_She could feel her on the bed, whispering secrets to her._

She got up and went quietly downstairs, feeling AJ run past her on the stairs.

She went to the kitchen and ate some grass, smelling the scent of apple pies cooking as Applejack baked.

She shut her eyes.

Big Mac stood away, watching as Dash was alone in the kitchen and it hurt his heart… he had no idea what was going through her head.

But he was worried.

XXXXX

Solar picked up the mail that came to his house, stopping when he saw a letter with Appleacres as the return address.

He opened it and read the words,

_Your daughter needs you,_

_if you are really her family please be there for her. _

_Her wife is dead._

Solar stood there, a feeling of emptiness coming over him as he read those words.

XXXXX

"Are you okay…?"

Twilight came every day, maybe she thought she owed her something.

"No…"

"I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash."

"She knew…" she whispered "and she did this to me..."

"She didn't know she'd run out of time. She was going to tell you!"

Rainbow Dash just stared at her. She was sitting still in the kitchen and shook her head quietly.

"No… she knew I wouldn't do it… that I wouldn't kill a foal."

"What are you talking about?" Twilight asked so lost.

Rainbow Dash just had tears in her eyes.

"She knew how to stop me killing myself."

Twilight nearly lost her breath. The pegasus seemed so sure of her words.

"She knew I wouldn't do it… _I wouldn't take a __**life**__ but WHY did she have to DO THIS __**TO ME!"**_

"B-because," Twilight stuttered in tears, she couldn't believe Rainbow Dash was saying this "Because she loves _you!"_

"If she loved me, IF SHE TRULY LOVED ME THAN WHY _DIDN'T _SHE WANT ME WITH_** HER**_**!" **

Twilight just stood back as Dash broke down in tears, the pegasus crying in agony at this and Twilight tried to approach her but Dash shot into the air, avoiding her touch as she yelled.

"_**WHY!"**_

"S-she loves you!"

"_**WHHHHYYY!"**_

"Because she didn't want you to _**WASTE YOUR LIFE AWAY**__!" _

Dash just hovered there panting, her chest beating up and down in panic and Twilight tried to approach her but she flew higher and just cried in torture.

"Why did she have to **die!" **she cried "Why did she deserve to die when there are so many others who deserve to! Why did she deserve this when she had never done anything wrong?! Why couldn't it have been me! Why couldn't it have _m-me!"_

"I-I don't know," Twilight cried back, "I don't know why it was her… I DON'T KNOW!"

Dash just cried, she didn't understand, she didn't understand.

"Please, Dash. Come down…"

The pegasus looked at her, weeping as she landed on the ground and Twilight tried to hold her.

"I'm sorry."

"Let go of me." Rainbow Dash just muttered pushing her away "If you were sorry… if you were_ really_ _sorry… _you would've saved her."

Twilight looked at her in tears, she was hurting her so much.

"I couldn't of."

Rainbow Dash stared at her quietly… before leaving the room and Twilight took scared breaths…

The pegasus hadn't let anyone touch her… no one since that day.

XXXXX

Days went by so slowly… _she could feel her in her dreams_… _she could feel her with every breath she took._

"_Sleeping?"_

She looked up at the empty spot on the bed… seeing AJ in her eyes.

"I can't sleep…"

"_You should really let her help you…" _Applejack's voice said with a smile, _"Please…"_

"I want you to come back…" she whispered, her voice the only thing in the room.

"_You can always visit me… you know where I am…"_

"Yes," she said in tears,

"In the _g-ground_."

"_Why won't you let anyone hug you?"_

"Because I don't want them to take away your touch…" she whispered, her heart hurting her to breathe "I don't want them to erase _you_…"

"_Please visit me…"_

"I can't…"

She hadn't gone to the funeral… she hadn't been to the grave.

There was no response… feeling so real when there was no one there. Her eyes watered…

Applejack was gone… and her body lay in a grave.

Applejack was gone… and she had took away her life.

XXXXX

She missed her…

"We're going to see her."

Rainbow Dash sat on the lounge, looking out to the fire place… staring at where the ash from last night lay.

"Do you want to come?"

There was no response.

Big Mac tried to touch her shoulder but Rainbow Dash moved away… she didn't want their touch.

"Okay…"

She watched as he and Applebloom left the house and she sat there… her chest going slowly up and slowly down thinking of her.

"Come back…" she whispered "Please don't go away."

_Applejack lay in the ground._

She missed her.

When in a few hours the brother and sister returned she left the house, the two watching her go worried.

"Do you think she'll-?"

"No…" Big Mac said, Applebloom looking at him worried.

XXXXX

Rainbow Dash flew quietly in the sky… a pegasus spotting her in the distance…

She flew above the grave yard and looked down, seeing all the tomb stones and felt her breath weaken.

She didn't want to land… but her heart froze when she saw the newly buried grave and she began to shake.

She landed to the ground, taking small steps toward it… seeing the name

_Applejack_

She stiffened.

Below her was her wife… in a box… in the ground.

"Applejack…" she whispered… she looked around her, seeing Granny Smith's grave next to her… seeing AJ's parents.

The Apple plot.

"I guess you're finally with them," she said weakly, trying to make a joke but her voice was shaking too much.

"I guess… you're finally gone."

Tears came down her eyes.

"You could've waited a few more years," she whispered, crying as she looked at the grave.

"But you were always so s-stubborn."

She felt like she couldn't do this… she felt like no matter what she said it wouldn't be heard.

"I think about you…" she said barely able to hear "do you think about me?"

There was no response and Dash just shook as she cried,

"I miss you…"

The graveyard was silent, not a sound besides a pegasus in the distance landing.

"I miss you _so much_."

"It will be okay."

She went silent, that voice she thought she would never hear again.

"It will be okay."

She began to leave but felt black hoofs hold her tight and she struggled.

"No…" she cried.

Solar held her close to him and she tried to push him away but was so weak from the pain.

"_No._"

"It's okay."

"No let me go," she begged, struggling harder. She didn't want to be touched by anyone but her.

"It will be okay."

She struggled harder, tears running down her face as she tried to escape but he held her so tight and she begged.

"Don't do this."

"I'm here for you, Dashie."

"No," she cried but he wouldn't let go, "No, let me go! _Pleeease!"_

He just held her quietly as she cried, struggling harder, trying to get loose… not him, not him out of everyone.

"_PLEASE!_" she begged "No! NOOO!"

She cried, giving up. She couldn't fight him, not now! She couldn't _fight_ anymore and just cried.

Hours went by as he held her… hours of agony and he just whispered after so long.

"You have a home…" he looked at her quietly, "you have a home if you don't want to go back."

She looked at him, her eyes red and hurting.

She looked to the ground… everything hurt, everything felt like torture and her dad said quietly.

"I love you, Dashie."

He let go, and she fell to the ground, not able to stand.

"And I'm sorry for what I did… I'm sorry for everything."

"Go…" she just said in tears, "Just go. Just leave me alone…"

"You have a home…"

He looked at her one more time before taking flight into the air and it never occurred to her… he had been on earth.

She cried on that grass, cried for hours to come… her heart hurt so much.

And it wouldn't stop.

It just hurt so much.

XXXXX

She sat in the sitting room. There was noise everywhere. Noise only she could hear.

She could hear AJ laughing. She could hear her playing with her little sister.

_She could hear her humming as she walked across the hall._

She could see her sitting by the fire. She could smell her scent. She could hear her laugh.

Everywhere in this house she could see her, hear her…feel her...

But one feeling she couldn't ignore… one feeling that was in her womb of a foal.

_You don't know how much this means to me_

_ I don't want this _

_but I do_

_ We haven't kissed like that since that night _

_I might just stink up the bed-  
><em>

_ You see me as a goddess _

_We can only get better _

_I'm scared…_

So many fears being finally realized. So many words now only memory.

She sat on the lounge, breathing in and out… in and out and whispered in tears,

Her heart hurting so much.

"I can't s-stay here…"


	33. Part 3 chapter 9

"_Did she ever really exist…? Did I just imagine her…"_

"_Don't say that, Dash, she was here."_

"_Did I just concoct it all… wanting someone to be real so much that I made them real in my head."_

"_She was __**here. **__She loved you and she was here."_

"_I know something happened…something which left me with this child… but what?"_

"_You're scaring me, Rainbow Dash. Please stop talking like this."_

"_I can't stay here…"_

Twilight looked at Dash quietly, her eyes wide as those words were said.

"What?"

"I can't live in this house… where I see her everywhere… I can't pretend anymore that she's real… I-I c-can't."

The pegasus had tears running down her face. Twilight was scared, what could she say? What could she do?

"Where will you go?"

"I can go back to them… I can go back to my parents…"

"But, but I thought you hated your father?"

"I can't hate anymore… I just can't."

_One day you won't want the hate_

Twilight looked at her worried,

"But what about us? What about Big Mac and Applebloom?"

"They will survive…" she said with nothing,

"…I will not."

"O-okay…" Twilight said fearfully, looking at those empty eyes… knowing Dash had to do what she could to live on,

"Okay…"

XXXXX

Rainbow Dash lay in that bed, the last time she ever would and just watched in silence as her imaginary wife walked and laughed and chattered and talked.

"Please go away…" she whispered quietly, "Please leave me alone…"

"_But I am away…" Applejack said with a laugh "I was never here."_

She shut her eyes… yes, she was never here…

The room was empty… everything was inside her head… Applejack had never been real… she had never existed.

"Were you never here?" she cried, crying all alone, the room empty of souls, "Were you always just in my head?"

She lay there, her body quaking, her heart breaking… could she survive this night? Could she ever sleep? Could she ever forget?

"Please come back…" she whispered, the voices gone… never coming back, "Please don't leave me."

She felt her chest beating up and down faster, as panic started to overcome, panic running through her body as she began to hyperventilate, sitting up and trying to breathe but it was too much.

"PLEASE!" She screamed "_PLEEEEEASE!_"

"P-P-PLEASE!" she begged in agony, wailing in the dark, "**_PLEEEEEASE!_**"

"Why won't you c-come back…?" she asked, desperate to hear her voice not just in her head, "Why won't you come back!"

She cried in the dark, crying so hard as all her words were not heard, that Applejack was gone and would not hear a thing.

_Why…_

_Why was she gone…?_

XXXXX

She stood outside, her heart barely beating, her friends all cried as they hugged her.

"You will always be missed."

"We will always love you!"

"I'm sorry," Twilight said to her, hugging the empty pegasus with heartache, "I'm sorry I c-couldn't save her."

She let go of her and even though Rainbow Dash's eyes were looking at her, she knew she wasn't there.

The pegasus was too weak to fly… too weak to move and got in the pegasi carriage, hearing her friends cry as they watched her, all of them begging it was them.

The two Apples just watched in silence, watching as the pegasus was about to leave their lives and never come back.

Applebloom shook, barely holding back her tears. Big Mac stayed still, his eyes not strong enough to cry… not able to let the pain in.

The pegasi began to rise off the ground, the carriage lifting slowly and the ponies watched as a member of their hearts disappeared… as Rainbow Dash left.

The pegasus sat there, sat there by herself with no thoughts going through her head, no words to be said, no voices to only lie to her.

_She saw Applejack smile at her one last time as she said,_

"_Goodbye."_

Disappearing for good and Rainbow Dash took a breath in, finding it hard to breathe as she said quietly back to herself, to her home,

To her wife…

"Good bye…"

XXXXX

She entered the cloud house quietly, her mother was healed and her parents hugged her as she stood in the hall, her parents whispering,

"We're so happy to see you,"

"Everything will be fine."

"You have us…"

Standing there as they touched her, everyone touching her, trying to hold her like Applejack once did but no one could.

"Would you like something to eat?" Crystal asked, looking at her daughter with tears, "Would you like something?"

"I'd like to be left alone…" she whispered and her parents looked at each other worried, "Please…"

"Okay." Solar said and Crystal gave him a worried look… Dash just went quietly to her room and placed the bags onto the ground, her breath beginning to shake as she was back in these walls.

Promising she'd never return.

But she had.

_Why…?_

"I'm worried, Solar." Crystal whispered to her husband afraid, "I've never seen her this way."

"She just needs time." He said quietly, smiling at his wife with strength,

"Time is all she has left."

"But what if she can't see that?"

"That's all there is… all she can do is make it to tomorrow, make it to the next minute."

"Okay…" his wife said in tears, "I just don't want her to die… I don't want her to go where there is no return."

"She will make it. She will."

Rainbow Dash sat in her room, listening to those words as she sat in silence, listening as her parents talked of her and how she would survive.

Did she even want to survive… did she want to breathe this air, beat this heart, feed this child…

Did she want to go on when there was nowhere on to go.

Did she want to live?

Did she want to survive?

Minutes went by… tomorrows went by… months went by.

Her stomach grew bigger. It grew bigger and bigger.

Her parents were always with her, making her eat, making her sleep, making her breathe.

How could they keep this up? How could they not give up on her…?

Sometimes she would wake up screaming. Screaming her lungs out just to make the pain go away.

"GO AWAY! _**GO AWAAAY!**__"_

One day she woke up and felt nothing in her body… as if it had gone numb during the night… not able to feel anything inside of her and her mother grew worried.

Would a knife hurt if she pierced it in? Would she bleed?

Crystal was terrified… after eleven months, nearly a year she had to see her daughter smile once more… she had to see her alive.

XXXXX

"We're going for a fly."

She looked straight into nothing, she was in the sitting room… her heart just beating. That was the only thing that wouldn't stop working.

"Okay," she said quietly.

"Please come with us…" Crystal begged, "We can walk on the clouds, we can take it easy."

"No."

"Please,"

"No…"

Her mother remained silent, afraid of how quiet her voice was.

"We love you…"

Rainbow Dash just blinked her eyes weakly.

"I know…"

Crystal kissed her on the cheek, Rainbow Dash not moving as her mother left in fear, Solar looking at his daughter quietly as he muttered.

"You will be alright."

Rainbow Dash didn't reply. The black pegasus left and she took a breath out.

She didn't know what she was… she didn't know if she was still alive or just in an imaginary world.

If her parents would cry if she died or would be happy that she was finally out of pain.

She felt a kick in her womb… the little foal always kicking away and got up, leaving the house and walking slowly on the clouds.

"Why couldn't you have died…" she whispered to it, her voice dead and not wanting to do this anymore.

She was scared.

Scared that this child was inside of her, scared that it wouldn't give up and was holding her onto this life.

Its grip was so tight… it's strength equal to hers and she was afraid of how when it was born she would have to give it up.

If it had Applejack's eyes… if it looked anything liked her… she would cry.

She stopped walking… a pain ran down her back into her pelvis and she keeled over in agony.

Oh No.

"No." she said, fear going through her core "No it can't be time."

She looked back in the direction of her parent's home and began to try to get back but the pain was brutal and she screamed.

She couldn't lift herself with her wings, she was too weak but as she stumbled forward she fell suddenly through a cloud gap, and screamed as she dropped through the sky.

Her wings beat quickly, trying to stop the fall and she fluttered rapidly but her body was too heavy, and she skidded to the ground in tears as she screamed in a village, she could hear noises as ponies surrounded her quickly in disbelief.

"Are you okay?"

"What's happened?"

"I'M IN LABOUR!" she screamed in tears, her body in agony "_I'M IN __**LABOUR!"**_

The ponies tried to help her up but she couldn't stand, the contractions starting and making her scream in torture.

"Okay, just breathe! You will be alright! Just breathe!"

"NOoo!" she cried, her tears soaking into the ground, "Nooo! Nooo!"

She couldn't do this! She couldn't do this without anyone she knew, without her.

Not without her! She COULDN'T! SHE _COULDN'T!_

"Get her!" she begged, everyone blurry from her soaked eyes, "GET _HER!_"

"Who!"

"NOOOoooo!" she screamed, the pain ripping down her spine as she felt the baby move into place and just cried, "NOoo! A-Applejack! Noooo!"

She could hear so many voices screaming and yelling at her, more and more hoofs surrounding her and she screamed for them to go, leave her! LEAVE HER TO DIE!

"Look at me."

Her eyes were quenched tight, not wanting to listen to that voice.

"LOOK AT ME."

She opened her eyes, everything so blurry but saw an orange pony looking at her, a smile on her face… the only thing that was clear.

No one else could see her, as the ponies continued to shout and Dash's breath vanished… staring at her with no words, nothing.

"You can do this."

"N-no! I can't!"

"Yes you can."

"N-no!"

"Push Rainbow."

Rainbow Dash just cried, her insides feeling like they were ripping out as she pushed as hard as she could, screaming, seeing her smile.

"PUSH."

"N-no!"

She felt a head come out of her, a body as she cried and the orange pony smiled at her slowly.

Rainbow Dash saw her quietly walk away and wanted to get up and follow, she had to be with her! But as she stood up everything went blurry, everything went black and she fell…

XXXXX

When she woke up, she lay there as if paralyzed.

She could see the crowd had left her and was surrounding something else.

They were all laughing and smiling as they looked down to the ground in love and she blinked her eyes, trying to stand again as she cried in tears.

"WHERE IS SHE!" she begged,

Where was Applejack.

"WHERE IS _SHE!"_

The crowd looked at her with smiles, seeing the distressed pegasus and moved away from the child, a foal wrapped up in a blanket asleep.

"She's beautiful," one of the ponies said to her with a smile, "So beautiful and bright."

"She's like an angel… I've never seen such tenderness in an infant."

Rainbow Dash looked down at the child, seeing the foal resting, the baby's eyes closed and just looked at the hair.

It was blond.

She froze…

The whole child was yellow.

Her fur yellow, her mane bright blonde but she could not see her eyes as they were closed and Dash just stood there… breathing slowly.

"Sunshine…" one of the ponies said, "She's like a ball of sunshine."

"And such beautiful eyes."

"What colour are they…" Dash asked in tears, fear coming to her heart,

"What colour are her eyes…"

"Yours."

She froze, her chest panting in fear as she stood there away from the crowd. She was so afraid and said quietly,

"She was here…"

"Who?"

She looked at them in tears, whispering.

"…Applejack."

They didn't understand but she had seen her in flesh, she had heard her in her ears.

She had been here.

Some pegasi were sent away after a few hours to find her parents and they arrived down soon later… Rainbow Dash keeping away from the foal.

Her parents took her child into the sky, Dash just staying on the ground…

She had seen her wife…

She had seen her…

XXXXX

As she arrived home in silence that night, she heard her parents in the sitting room talking.

Their voices were low and she approached them, tears in her eyes as she said.

"Where is she."

"She's in your room." Her mother said softly.

Dash's heart froze.

She walked in weak steps to the room, walking so quietly as she reached her door and pushed it opened… her heart barely beating.

She saw a small foal on her bed, wrapped in blankets asleep and she approached it quietly but froze when its eyes opened.

Dark ruby eyes stared at her, the foal looking at her with a concentration so deep and she could barely breathe.

"H-hey…" she said weakly, looking at the child with such fear, "I-I'm Rainbow Dash…"

The baby just stared at her, seeming only wanting to look into her eyes and Dash swallowed… saying in tears

"H-hello…

...Sunshine."


	34. The End

**Five years later...**

She never saw AJ again after that day.

She never saw her face again in this world… only in her dreams after the sun had set to night.

Her dreams were such a wonderful place, adventures being made with no fear, a world which could never hurt her, couldn't leave her scarred.

She was happy in them but every day she had to wake up.

And see her Sunshine.

XXXXX

She woke.

The sun was shining through the windows as dawn slowly began to approach and she blinked her eyes quietly, feeling the warmth enter the cloud walls and bring in light.

She sat up.

She was in an empty cold room, a home in the center of her past and her present.

She was away from Flockem, away from Ponyville… away from it all.

She was in a town which was center of her world, she was in her home.

She could hear small footsteps going up and down the hall in eager, little skips of joy and blinked her eyes, coming slowly out and seeing her daughter jumping up and down as she fluttered with her tiny wings, trying to get up speed.

Rainbow Dash watched her quietly until Sunshine noticed her and crashed into the wall, laughing shyly as she said.

"Did you see me, mum?"

Rainbow Dash nodded, smiling weakly as she said.

"You did really well."

"One day I'll be as fast as a wonderbolt."

"Definitely faster," Dash said quietly and Sunshine sprung back on her hoofs as she fluttered in the air with a small smile.

"It's finally today, mum. It's finally flight school."

Rainbow Dash's heart froze when she heard this.

Sunshine flew around in little flutters, trying to get her speed up and hurried to her room, going through her draws as she tried to gather up all she could.

Rainbow Dash watched her, her heart beating a little faster as her daughter prepared for a day she never wanted to come.

She walked back to her room, sitting on her bed as her mind went quiet… so many things going through her head.

She had dreamed before she woke that she was on that hill, a pony sleeping in her hoofs as she watched her in silence.

She was afraid that the pony would wake up, afraid she would get up and leave but as the orange pony's eyes slowly opened she smiled at her warmly.

"Hey…" she whispered, looking into her eyes… her green ones so surreal in this world and Dash whispered back.

"Hey…"

"You came to see me," she said, curling into her gently and Dash swallowed as she said.

"No… you came to me."

"You know we can't stay here," Applejack said quietly, a smile forming across her lips, "You have responsibilities… I have responsibilities."

"There are so many times I've been here with you…" Dash said in fear "living out lives that only you and I know," she held her tight, feeling her warmth.

"So many years I have spent in these hoofs."

"And what does is it all mean to you…?"

"Waking up I have such fear…" she said with barely a voice "fear that I have no control over what is to come… what can happen." Dash stared quietly into her eyes, "In here, nothing hurts… everything is beautiful… you're beautiful."

"You know I'll always be here…" AJ said quietly "but you have to go back out there."

"No, you say you'll always be here," Dash said back in fear, "But you're not… and it's only on nights like these that you are… some days you never come."

"I do have other things to do." AJ said with a smile.

"But you don't…" Dash said in tears "I can't go back, knowing that the next night you won't be here."

"But the next night I will."

Rainbow Dash sighed… she looked more beautiful than she had ever seen… her orange fur so soft here, her eyes so vibrant green.

But she wasn't real.

"I wish I could see you again, know you are here…" she said in tears "when my eyes are open and the sun wakes me in the dawn. I wish I could see you."

"But I am here." Applejack said softly, "All you have to do is believe."

"Don't say only what I want to hear…" Dash whispered and Applejack frowned disheartened.

"Trust in your gut that I am here… I am around you constantly."

"Stop it."

"Go into her room" she said "and look through her draws…" Applejack looked at her quietly, "Believe I am here."

Dash sighed… always in her dreams this Applejack said these things… always her mind trying to invent reasons that she was still alive.

She was so confused that day of birth… so many blurry images but saw a hallucination that looked so real… so real she could touch it… saying those words.

"You can do this."

So many years ago but she had never forgot that second when she had been real again. Been here.

Dash looked back to the dream AJ and said.

"Just don't wake me up."

But she had woke that morning, waking back to the sunlight of day and stood back in the room she had left, watching her daughter pack, looking as Sunshine finally got her bags full and fluttered eagerly towards her, a smile on her face.

"Okay mum, I'm ready."

"Okay." She said quietly and followed her daughter out to the sky, seeing dawn still just barely lighting this world and Sunshine looked at her quietly.

"Do you think the other fillies will like me? Or do you think they'll just see me as weird…"

"I think you shouldn't care…" Dash said quietly, she just wanted her daughter to be happy.

"Will you miss me?"

Dash looked at her, Sunshine's ruby eyes looking at her worried of the answer.

"You have no idea."

Sunshine smiled, and began to rise to the sky; her wings fluttering quickly and she looked to her mother with a smile.

"Goodbye, mum."

Dash said nothing as Sunshine began to fly away but said just before she left.

"Sunshine."

Her daughter turned to her, her wings flapping quickly as she asked.

"Yeah?"

"Come home again."

She looked at her confused, saying quietly.

"I will, mum."

Rainbow Dash just watched her silently as he daughter flew slowly away.

Away in Sunshine's room lay a nightstand… in the nightstand, a draw.

In the draw a picture of an orange pony.

On that picture the words,

_This is your guardian angel…_

_A mother you will never know._

Sunshine had never understood why she got this picture in a letter, a bit scared of what it was about.

She had gotten it from her uncle Big Mac but was afraid to tell anyone.

And in that letter was a golden necklace.

Rainbow Dash never knew.

All the pegasus did at that moment was stand there on the cloud, watching as her heart flew slowly away.

She remembered when she stood on that cliff with Applejack, just looking at the town below and her wife said to her,

_Before I told you about my pregnancy… I was terrified that you may just leave me… but you didn't. And you know why? Because the past doesn't matter… only the future._

She watched as her daughter flew on into the horizon and closed her eyes… hearing those words.

For she could never go back to that time, she could never see those eyes again, hear that voice say those words to her but it was okay.

She was still here. Standing on this cloud still alive.

She had survived.


	35. Epilogue

Hey,

It's been more than a month since I wrote this fic, and I've had a lot of time to think about what I wrote and why I wrote it but I would like, if I can, explain why I wrote some things the way I did, and why I took this story in this direction.

This story was a fanfic but I didn't want to make it about the characters, I wanted to make it about you.

I wrote this story in a way that I wanted the reader to be the character, and the main character I wanted you to be was Rainbow Dash.

I know this was a very dramatic story, but it had to be because if I went easy on the emotions, then the reader wouldn't feel it happening to them and wouldn't be as affected.

I wanted you to not feel for the character, but be the character.

I wanted you to feel like you were the one about to kill yourself, for you to feel like you were the one that lost someone.

I wanted you to be the character, not the characters themselves.

There were some points in the story where I wanted the reader to give up, there were some points where I wanted to test you to see if you could make it through to the next chapter.

The main two chapters where I expected you to stop, because I would've myself were Part 2 chapter 5 and Part 3 chapter 8.

The chapter where Rainbow Dash breaks when Applejack was on the ground struggling was written that way because that was where you were meant to break.

I think I lost a lot of readers at that moment, because that was the first breaking point of the story, the most painful part.

I honestly didn't expect anyone to continue on from that point, but you did, and that is why you are reading this now.

The second breaking point was the chapter after Applejack's death.

I wanted to make that the hardest chapter to get through, I wanted you to stop reading and give up on the story.

I really wanted to see if you could survive it.

I know from my stats that most people gave up at end of part 2, and I only had a few continuing on but even the few I had left, I still wanted to push you further, to see if you could make it.

This story was never about the characters but about you.

To see how much you could take.

The ending was meant to be the reward, that you had made it and I really wanted you to realize that if you could survive this story than you could survive anything life gave to you.

I got a lot of hate for this story, a lot more than any other fic I have written, and I know a lot of people gave up on it.

I think if I had been the one reading this fic instead of writing it I would've given up myself. Heck I was literally in tears writing some parts.

I always try to make my endings feel like what you did was for a reason, that this wasn't just to read as a pass time but to read to grow and change as a person.

I know a lot of people didn't realize this but that was my mission for this story, I wanted you to become stronger, and for myself to become stronger.

I know this was not the ending a lot of people wanted, but it was the ending that was meant to make you see that everything was for a reason.

To see that you had survived.

I guess that's all I can say on it, and I know this epilogue is coming a bit late but at least it's coming at all.

For anyone who made it to the end, thank you and I wish you happiness and best wishes in your future.

Sincerely yours,

Feeling Grand.


End file.
